Madonna knos how 2 whistle (Lolebrity)

Pete “999″ Doherty saves the day! (AgentBedhead)

Kylie Minogue is legion! (CelebritySmack)

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are canine collectivists (DailyStab)

Viggo Mortensen will outnumber his Oscar competition (Defamer)

Obama’s celebrity Cabinet (Gawker)

Britney Spears gets a job! (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan’s epiphany caught on camera (IBBB)

Princess Diana dug up and made to promote Keira Knightly film (ImNotObsessed)

Paula extends mixed welcome to new Politburo member (POTP)

Roberto Cavalli shares his clothes out to the Miley/Marcia collective (JustJared)

Matthew McConaughey believes in an equal division of labour (PopSugar)

Pornstar hooked on opiate of the masses? (DListed)

Canuckistanis cannot be killed! (Mollygood)

Madonna redistributes capital (Websters)

Put a lid on it! (CityRag)

Dancing with the Stars work group forms (SeriouslyOMG)

London’s mayor now wanted by Beijing … dead or alive! (raincoaster)

Good one Ryan, when Reese sees this surely she will weep bitter tears of regret at divorcing your beefy broad-shouldered self, and pine longingly for the supreme tautness of those man abs.  Or perhaps not.

Matt Damon ar Canoodlian? (Lolebrity)

Brit Naomi Campbell represents Africa (AgentBedhead)

Mary-Kate Olsen brings, wears, the kimono and kiltie-based Wackness (CelebritySmack)

Brangelina donates $1million to help children of war (Websters)

Amy Winehouse downsizes the party (DListed)

Sigourney in space? (DailyStab)

Ben Affleck talks about the Congo (ImNotObsessed)

Barack Obama loses the bimbo vote! (CandyKirby)

Cruise Beckham (CelebDirtyLaundry)

GyllenSpooning (JustJared)

Five dumbest reality show gimmicks (Mollygood)

Gayest movie robots (Radar)

Prince Harry, rump roast inspector (UKPopsugar)

Mario Lopez ChestHairGate! (Defamer)

Tim McGraw boots an attacker (CeleBitchy)

I didn’t know Ashanti was in Ice Capades (GoFugYourself)

Oprah’s is the biggest I’ve ever seen! (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Kanye’s mother’s Doctor Death no longer Doctor, DUI’d for good measure (PerezHilton)

Well, what do you know? You CAN be too thin! (ParkAvenuePeerage)

As Hollywood’s highest paid actress, Reese Witherspoon can afford to demand that her onscreen loving be as chaste as her offscreen romance with Jake Gyllenhaal:

It’s been widely reported that Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn can’t stop butting heads on the set of Four Christmases but apparently it was a scene where they’re supposed to bump uglies that really has Reese hot and bothered — but for all the wrong reasons. “Reese has an issue with the scripted love scene,” an on-set source tells PageSix.com. The sex scene is written as a funny, American Pie-style romp, but “Reese is such a prude, she thinks it’s just too much,” the insider adds.

American Pie wasn’t funny at all! It was dark and scary and Kevin Spacey got his brain shot to pieces…oh hang on. Anyway the point is Reese is very particular about what she does in front of the camera.  Especially since that one unfortunate instance of unintentionally inappropriate body language that was captured for posterity and stories like this.

Woody Allen kills himbos’ careers stone dead! (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie makes up with Jon Voight (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise, failed babydaddy (ContactMusic)

Natalie Portman is the vegan Louboutin! (CelebritySmack)

Britney’s New Year’s miracle! (Dlisted)

Johnny Depp is richer than a pirate (DailyStab)

Harry Potter and the Bar Mitzvah of Secrecy (Defamer)

Lindsay Lohan’s Champagne wishes become Champagne reality (TMZ)

Late night tv goes mano-a-mano-a-mano-a-Jimmy Kimmel (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Smells like … Becks! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay Lohan, platinum panhandler (Mollygood)

Get into Gary Coleman’s pants! (ICYDK)

Mena Suvari debuts a bowl cut (ImNotObsessed)

Carrie Underwood bows to the power of sequins (GoFugYourself)

Reese Witherspoon demonstrates impeccable taste again (HolyCandy)

Kiefer Sutherland 2.0? (PerezHilton)

Hunk Jackman and his kids at the park (TheMeatScale)

Look who got his hands on Batman’s package! (PerezHilton)

Jack Black is stunned by the size of his (AgentBedhead)

Owen Wilson just laughs, relieved his is out of reach (EvilBeet)

Brad Pitt wishes Juliette Lewis would shut up about his (HolyCandy)

Amy Winehouse offers the world a glimpse of hers (TMZ)

Renee Zellweger has a “wardrobe malfunction” (BittenAndBound)

Justin Timberlake challenges Pitt and Clooney to a Sexy-Off (ASocialitesLife)

These celebrities are totally plastic (Worth1000)

The remarkably lifelike Karl Lagerfeld (CelebritySmack)

Hawt Britney Spears on Paris Hilton blackmail action! (HolyMoly)

Rachel Ray fakes it with her hubby (Dlisted)

Hayden Panettiere says Forget the Cheerleader: Save the Whales! (JustJared)

James Blunt, manslut (CrabbiesHollywood)

Britney banned from bar (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Regis Philbin gives best 3 out of 5 for next season (Mollygood)

Dolly Parton thinks Dolly Parton looks like a hooker (Celebitchy)

Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish are officially on (CelebNewsWire)

Lohan sees trouble, but they’re not going steady (WendyWayrad)

Danny Bonaduce’s penis needs a PR (Radar)

The personal journals of Angelina Jolie (Dissfunktional)

Julia Roberts, handicapped parking-stealer, paparazzi-attacker (WendyWayrad)

Gene Simmons rocks the dragonskin platform boots (TheMeatScale)

Katie Holmes loses the Posh at the Bambi Awards and no, I’m not making this up (PerezHilton)

Cyndi Lauper goes under the needle (Mollygood)

Prince William still has his girlfriend, most of his hair (JustJared)

Hollywood’s top 10 shocking secrets (CelebSlam)

Posh’s implants bow to gravity, but not much (Egotastic)

Jennifer Love Whoitt engaged (USmagazine)

Gwyneth Paltrow wears Uggs, hangs head in shame (Jezebel)

Jerry Seinfeld’s family troubles (Chicago Sun-Times)

Did Reese and Jake join the Mile High Club? (ShowbizSpy)

Johnny Depp, manorexic, but still purty (ImNotObsessed)

The Curse of Monica Lewinsky (fortunately not a menstruation story) (HolyCandy)

Lilo drinking again, yo (DerekHail)

Ads that work… on Winehouse and Doherty at least (AgentBedhead)

Shocker of the day: KFed wants more money! (EvilBeet)

John Travolta? No way!!! (LARagMag)

Angelina Jolie is coming soon to a barstool near you! (CelebritySmack)

Britney spends time with her kids, ignores them (CelebrityBabyScoop)

PRINCE HARRY IS SINGLE AGAIN!!!!! (USMagazine) (ed note: don’t we have a bigger font for this?)

The first rule of writing about Tom Cruise is: you don’t write about Tom Cruise. Oh crap! (CeleBizzy)

MI6 announces the new Bond Girl. Pretty, sexy, completely unknown as per usual (MI6News)

Tats for Cash: the LeBron James/Nike deal (TheClothezline)

Workin’ it old-skool: the 1977 JC Penney catalog (15-minute lunch)

Angelina is a perfectionist who can’t get anything right (WebstersIsMyBitch)

But Brad Pitt’s got her back(side) (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Saint Bob adopts other people’s children, changes their names. Where’d he get that idea? (AgentBedhead)

24: the unaired pilot! (CollegeHumor)

Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton breed! (CelebritySmack)

Courtney Thorne-Smith also sperminated, but prettier, nicer and younger (CelebrityBabyScoop)

How to make yourself look hot: be photographed between two Amy Winehouse impersonators (Bastardly)

Heather Mills is a one-legged bitch and illegal wiretapper (Dlisted)

RIP Donda West; prayers for Kanye (Gabsmash)

How Father Time stole Teri Hatcher (BringingBloggingBack)

Amy Winehouse’s enabler arrested. This is why heroin addicts are never secret agents. (Yeeeeah)

Kate Hudson gives up on Owen, picks Heath Ledger as substitute blond (CelebWarship)

Jennifer Garner’s prick (ASocialite’sLife)

Justin Timberlake makes sure his is still there (HolyCandy)

Reese Witherspoon’s son has career aspirations just like yours! (I’mNotObsessed)

Britney Spears style alert: Defcon 1! (TheMeatScale)

The latest OJ Simpson trial starts (IDLYITW)

Halle Berry’s boobs at BAFTAs (Egotastic)

Liz Taylor may be past her sell-by date (Mollygood)