Britney and Jamie-Lynn attacked! (Adeline and Hazel)

Kiefer Sutherland hasn’t got time to plead not guilty! (TMZ)

But he does have time to do 48 days (PerezHilton)

Charlie Sheen’s girl is a RealDoll (Defamer)

Lindsay Lohan is high on puns (OK!)

Hoff is off! (the wagon) (Mollygood)

Linday Lohan and Joey Buttafuoco…wait, what? (Mr.Paparazzi)

Forward Britney’s resume to HR! Thank me later (HolyCandy)

TomKat out to dinner, not lunch (I’mNotObsessed)

Nicole Richie’s baby bump gets bigger, browner (DailyStab)

Jude Law IS Celebrity Dave (AgentBedhead)

Vince Neil’s wife, Amanda Lepore? (CelebritySmack)

Tom Cruise’s blackmailer’s death “suspicious.” You don’t say? (CeleBitchy)

Has Angelina Jolie had a schnozzoplasty? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

George Clooney is never living this one down (Jossip)

Britney passed her drug test (DListed)

Tinsley Mortimer’s poncho, life are not like yours (ParkAvenuePeerage)

Victoria Beckham to play flying monkey? (TheMeatScale)

Jennifer Lopez keeps mum (GirlsTalkinSmack)

John Stamos plays doctor at Disney World (JustJared)

LolCats want you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOOONE! (icanhascheeseburger)

Faith Hill is faithful to fashion (DailyStab)

Taking Marilyn Manson home to Mom & Dad (AgentBedhead)

Lily Allen and Kate Moss show that classic English restraint (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan is clean, sober, still confused (ASocialite’sLife)

Brad Pitt’s VPL????? (I’mNotObsessed)

George Clooney’s new sex toy (HolyCandy)

Owen Wilson’s sober vacation plans (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Garner and the meaning of the cash bar (LaineyGossip)

Keri Russell and baby River (HollywoodOffender)

Hot Celebrity Daddies! (CityRag)

At least Danny Bonaduce is wanted by someone! (TMZ)

Elizabeth Taylor is STILL big! It’s the pictures that got small! (Mollygood)

Charlie Sheen is one nasty babydaddy! (ICYDK)

Your colossal daily Britney screwup roundup (HollyScoop)

Angelina collapses drunkenly OR a tabloid is really reaching for headlines (PopBytes)

Even socialites get the shoe-fitting blues (Park Avenue Peerage)

Reese trashes Britney, Lindsay and Paris, joins rest of world (DailyStab)

Fake Pete Doherty rumours…oh, if only he didn’t exist at all (AgentBedhead)

Angelina Jolie’s suspicious pulchritude (EvilBeetGossip)

George Clooney…sigh (CelebritySmack)

KFed Keeps Kidz (Defamer)

Ann Coulter, 46, wants to take your vote away (Jezebel)

Pamela Anderson outclasses her ex…snark? We got nuthin’ (I’mNotObsessed)

Kate Beckinsale makes a security guard’s day (Celebslam)

Brad Pitt and George Clooney make housecalls? (CeleBitchy)

Jennifer Aniston is tabloid gold (HolyCandy)

Leo DeCaprio’s chick is a chicken (NYPost)

Rootin’ tootin’ Wayne Newton, deconstructed (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Violet Affleck is the Queen of Hollywood (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Ancient Egyptian god Anubis is happy to see you (WOWreport) (reference)

Jenna Bush’s apple doesn’t fall far from the Bush (Jossip)

Perez Hilton’s shiner, Hugh Hefner, and the hookers (PerezHilton)

Britney can drive, y’all! Lock up your Kias! (People)

Ben Affleck, Superdad! (OK!Magazine)

We’re back, and linkier than ever!

Timberlake in leather (blogger faints) (DailyStab)

Lindsay is positive! about using drugs, that is (PopCrunch)

Kimberly Stewart’s boobs are lopsided (AgentBedhead)

Britney wears underwear! (CelebritySmack)

Mena Suvari’s new look (I’mNotObsessed)

Do NOT watch Mariah Carey pee! (HolyCandy, and don’t worry; it’s not a video post)

Farrah Fawcett’s alternative cancer therapy (CeleBitchy)

The Curse of Howdy Doody (WOWReport)

Angelina Jolie: still employable (USWeekly)

Nicole Richie’s stripper heels (Jossip)

Carl Lewis’ new vibrator (Gizmodo)

Britney has one for the road…on the road (EvilBeetGossip)

Ben does not beat Jen (ICYDK)

Dylan McDermott is back on the market! (BricksAndStones)

Jailbird Paris Hilton is the Halloween Costume of the Year (Seattle PI)

Kelly Ripa rocking the Gollum look (Dlisted)

Britney Spears Art Exhibit, y’all! (CityRag)

Kiefer Sutherland DUI charges (Defamer)

Tina Yothers (Jen from Family Ties) has a boy (People)

Salma Hayek has a girl (Yeeah)

Samantha Harris has a girl (DailyStab)

Charlotte Church has a girl, names her Ruby (PerezHilton)

Is Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus pregnant? (CeleBitchy)

Nicole Richie is visibly pregnant, not popping just yet (Celebrity Smack)

Brangelina shopping around for another orphan? (HollywoodOffender)

Posh, stripper; the only time you’ll see those two words together (Agent Bedhead)

Miss USA throws Katie Couric some tude (I’mNotObsessed)

Lohan still playing to type in rehab (HolyCandy)

How Celebrities escape conviction (CityRag)

Barry Manilow’s plastic surgery, deconstructed (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

George Clooney, road warrior (WOWreport)

Viggo Mortensen’s nekkid moneymaker (NSFW, Mollygood)

Chris Crocker, from Myspace Hero to Myspace layout (MyMyspace Layouts)

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are puck bunnies (Daily Stab)

Britney: fired, barred, ejected, dangerous, subpoena’d, custodyless, and still stuck with Federline (Agent Bedhead)

Sugababes vs James Blunt, pot vs kettle (Celebrity Smack)

Mary-Louise Parker adopts a baby (We Love Celebs)

Sally Field’s bleep is the quote o’ the day (GabbyBabble)

Barry Manilow vs Elizabeth Hasselbeck (Gone Hollywood)

David Beckham joins the Men in Black (Holy Candy)

Lindsay Lohan’s street style (Cityrag)

Keira Knightly is HUUUUUUGE! (I’m Not Obsessed)

Tori Amos serenades Britney Spears (LA Rag Mag)

Angelina Jolie trips out at Disneyland (Pop on the Pop)

Chloe Sevigny’s rehab-themed photoshoot for Harper’s Bazaar (Hollywood Backwash)

Paula Abdul and her metrosexual man (HolyMoly)

Jennifer Garner is the superfantastic! (Popsugar)

Ozzie and Sharon’s new crib (WizbangPop)

Shia Le Buff (WOW Report)

O.J. has a girlfriend? (Glossip)

Sharon Stone does Dior (Players, Haters, and Imitators)

Chris Crocker-themed Myspace graphics (MyMyspace)

Seth Green is That Crazed Britney Spears Fan Guy (DailyStab)

Kiefer Sutherland vs Japanese Schoolgirls (Agent Bedhead)

Press Button, receive gossip blogs (Celebrity Smack!)

David Beckham takes it off (I’m Not Obsessed)

Demi Moore in Indecent Expenditure (Holy Candy)

Lindsay Lohan, Angel of Death (Cele bitchy)

Rachel Zoe is thin, tan, famous, hallucinating (Dlisted)

Britney, Madonna, and the jihadi death threats (WOW Report)

Mena Suvari’s mane attraction (Hollywood Backwash)

Shar Jackson and the T-Shirt of Vengence (Evil Beet)

Peaches Geldof is no Fifi Trixibelle (Sassybella)

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are Tanzanian legends! (PerezHilton)

Lance Armstrong sues pet charity (The Iron Whirlygig)

Justin Timberlake diseased, punned upon (Archie’s Archive)

Amy Winehouse vs Pete Doherty…both losers (Celebrity Scrap)

Kiefer Sutherland worships like nobody else! (Defamer)

Manolo says, from the Manolo’s friends at the WizbangPop comes this most interesting news about Owen Wilson.

In Touch magazine reports the twice rehabbed stallion is resisting family and friends urging to enter a facility and instead has hired a ‘sober companion’ at the rate of $750.00 a day. And what’s the companion do? Follow the star around and make sure he doesn’t shoot up of course!

The per diem rate assures Owen a companion who will do ‘whatever’s necessary’ to keep him from using. A companion can also counsel and [provide] transportation to and from all destinations.

If this is not the perfect plot for the comedy the Manolo does not know what is!

Now, the only question is, who should play the “Sober Companion”?