Ayyyy!

Okay, Sven Kramer, my imaginary boyfriend, you may have gotten the gold for the fastest skater and the gold for the purtiest Olympian other than Johnny “Fierce” Weir, but I’m still saying the Russian in the back there wins the platinum medal in the fashion Olympics. Don’t nobody look their best in orange. Not even you:

And seriously; ankle socks?

Lindsay Lohan airs it out (Lolebrity)

Lara vs Leia (AgentBedhead)

Elvis Pattinson immortalized (AmyGrindhouse)

Clive Owen steals some poor girl’s jacket (BusyBeeBlogger)

and she wonders why she doesn’t have any friends (INeedMyFix)

Gilligan’s Island of the Living Dead (CelebritySmack)

Lohan throwdown (AllieIsWired)

Lilo on the down low (HolyMoly)

Flying Tomato peels! (DailyStab)

The family that tases together, stayses together (GabbyBabble)

Betcha can’t fug just one (GoFugYourself)

Someone please give Sarah Palin a real job (Gawker)

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (EvilBeet)

Giantess free to attack again! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

These tourists are SO much prettier than ours (HaveUHeard)

Fran Drescher Fission! (IBBB)

There’s a thin line… (LitelySalted)

Moon, June, Spoon, Gay PrOn? (Movieline)

We like JLo’s Hue (TenGossip)

Bride of Freakenstein (PopBytes)

Well THIS should get a telethon (DListed)

Remember … to SMILE, dummy (UKPopSugar)

Jane Fonda shouldn’ta blogged it! (CelebCosmeticSurgery)

Gals, haven’t we all trotted out the old “can you help rub some suntan oil on my back” trick on an unsuspecting guy (who is not related to you)? Of course it also helps a lot if you haven’t used up the whole bottle on your face already.

Julia Child, Master Spy (Lolebrity)

Disturbed by ageing? Ernest Borgnine says just beat it! (CandyKirby)

A star is born: Failure Model Chick gets her big break (IBBB)

Jackson Browne lays the beatdown on thiefy John McCain (CelebuWreck)

Brad Pitt wardrobe malfunction (OhNoTheyDidnt)

Billy Zane gets genital exfoliation from once and future ex (AgentBedhead)

Dave Coulier aught to know what it’s like to break up with Alanis Morrisette (CelebritySmack)

Renee Zellweger chilled in Miami (DailyStab)

Leave Grandpa Alone! Hugh Hefner retires (CeleBitchy)

Katie Holmes will bring the Eighties back no matter what it takes (DListed)

JLoHew, now 10% off! (Defamer)

The history of Xenu, by L.Ron Hubbard (Gawker)

The Saga of a Celebrity Saloniste (ImNotObsessed)

Learn to speak Romulan! (EvilBeet)

Robert Downey Jr. rocks the Ron Jeremy look (GoFugYourself)

Margaret Cho gets ink (JustJared)

No news today (BBC via BoingBoing)

No real news about Vince Vaughn anyway (DListed)

Top Ten College Commencement Speeches (Gawker)

Jack Black’s Panda Attack! (AgentBedhead)

Shania is single, has no comment (CeleBitchy)

Californians achieve marriage equality (Mollygood)

Britney’s pink wig’s sex tape (Defamer)

Beyonce is Desperate (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty close down the Hell Prom (Lolebrity)

Hard celebrity dicks (Gawker)

Ellen ruins Portia’s surprise (TMZ)

Jessica Alba cannot outstare your disapproving aunt Thelma (YouTube)

Renee Zellweger thinks you can be fooled by myriad accessories (ImNotObsessed)

Posh is a jean Djinnii (PopSugar)

Sugar Tits and Sugar Titter en route to South America: this should end well (DailyStab)

OWEN WILSON COMES TO HIS SENSES (CelebritySmack)

Kiefer kandidz (GabbyBabble)

Vince Vaughn will make his own damn threesomes! (CandyKirby)

Iron Femme (Websters)

Jessica Alba is being motherly (IBBB)

Gwyneth Paltrow wears what the Manolo tells her to (JustJared)

Renee Zellweger, charter member, Starfuckers Incorporated (DailyStab)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and My Little Pony: which one of these is slumming? (CandyKirby)

Shia LaBoeuf may or may not have gotten lucky(? if you call it that) (WendyWayrad)

John Cusack refers Paul Leydon to the hand (JeanJacketsBad)

Bloody Hell! Pete Doherty is insane (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

JLo goes all, like, Alpha Mommy on Nicole Richie (IBBB)

Adrien Brody is marrying retired Aunt Selma from Miami Beach? (ImNotObsessed)

Flat busted: Amy Winehouse arrested (People)

Ellen DeGeneris gently gyno-probes Ashlee Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Harrison Ford’s Brazilliant deforestation PSA/man-on-man chest waxing video (Defamer)

Celebrity cosmetic surgery slideshow (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Betty and Veronica: still best frenemies (CounterfeitChic)

Madonna is a natural beauty on “Today.” And what planet? (DListed)

Mariah Carey to turn Empire State Building gay (HollywoodRag)

Heidi Fleiss on her high horse again (WOWReport)

The happy(?) couple: Carmen Electra and Rock Himbo #3 pose for engagement pix (Websters)

Encounters with Seth Green (Mollygood)

Jonas Brothers kill and bury Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash’s musical cred (MTVBuzzworthy)

Clay Aiken thinks people from Omaha are stupid (EvilBeet)

Rachel Zoe is one cougar who never changes her spots (GoFugYourself)

Scientology teaches Katie Holmes to speak in tongues (CeleBitchy)

Scientology’s niece speaks! (AgentBedhead)

Cindy McCain pulls a Jessica Seinfeld (FromScratch)

How Rick Rolls (AgentBedhead)

The Shat is indestructable! (CelebritySmack)

Renee Zellweger’s reality distortion field functioning well (CeleBitchy)

Paris apologizes to Kim Kardashian for being such an ass (GabbyBabble)

Lily Allen proves blondes don’t have more fun: or at least, they don’t enjoy it (ImNotObsessed)

The Hills are alive…with silicone (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Survivor Micronesia: Everybody loves Tom Jones (RealityTV)

Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz shotgun wedding: the photo proof (DailyStab)

Even vampires won’t touch the blood of Naomi Campbell (DListed)

LeAnn Rimes goes from bed to verse (GoFugYourself)

Menopauseland doesn’t look so bad, really (CircusHour)

Debunking the Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape (Defamer)

Brigitte Bardot hates Muslims (Gawker)

Perhaps the single greatest concentration of awesomeness in the entire celebrity gossip blogosphere (TaylorMayde)

What IS Dick Cheney looking at? The possibilities revealed (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Karl Lagerfeld’s coke dealer photographed! (Towleroad)

For your next necrophiliac Goth stag party: the Marilyn Monroe postmortem sex tape (Websters)

Pete Doherty adapting well to the bottom bunk (AgentBedhead)

But his ego needs a separate bed (CelebWarship)

Kate Moss dressed for a white wedding (TheRadReport)

Amy Winehouse with child (DListed)

Mariah’s diet secrets have nothing to do with lipo, coke, or diet Redbull. Honest to blog (HollywoodBackwash)

James Blunt is easily hurt (ICYDK)

The Hoff is hawt! (SeriouslyOMG)

Grandma got run over by Timbaland (DerekHail)

Britney Spears to show Chris Crocker how it’s done (TastefulCelebs)

The $90 million per year Chickenhawk strikes again! (CircusHour)

Did a jealous Woz put the hit on Adnan Ghalib? (CeleBitchy)

Jessica Alba visited by the Titty Fairy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Britney gives ME whiplash, too (CelebritySmack)

JLo lost preggo weight, yo. You may now recommence hating her (JustJared)

Save the cheerleader (from the paparazzi) (GabbyBabble)

Hillary Clinton can’t even get a boilermaker right (DailyStab)

Renee Zellweger and the Curse of Bridget Jones (DailyMail)

I Know My Kid’s a Star lets everyone know your mom is a trainwreck (IBBB)

Recession makes Botox unaffordable? Twice the worry lines! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Silver Fox Smackdown: Miss Manners vs Anna Wintour (Gawker)

SATC spoilers. Uh, SPOILER ALERT! (Defamer)

Natalie Portman’s boyfriend Devendra Banhart: hawt or nawt? (Defamer)

Renee Zellweger’s true nature revealed at last! (CelebritySmack)

Renee gets it half-right (Yeeeeah)

Britney cleverly avoids tan lines, personal dignity (Cityrag)

But she DOES put out for charity: $25,000 on her Amex (PopSugar)

MILF vs MILF: Hurley/Paltrow edition (Bastardly)

No, you cannot get in George Clooney’s pants (HuffPo)

The ULTIMATE purse dog (CounterfeitChic)

Nicole Richie is fed up with Paris “Me Too” Hilton (HollywoodBackwash)

Only 40 people in the world want to be Paris’ friend (CeleBitchy)

ScarJo and RyRey have a fight (ICYDK)

Married man caught on film kissing Hillary and NO it’s not Bill! (AgentBedhead)

Pete Doherty has no friends; Kate Moss has no class (HolyMoly)

Mariah Carey says she has low self-esteem, demonstrates unsuspected gift for sidesplitting comedy (DailyStab)

Sandra Bullock is on the run from … wait for it … CANADA! (ImNotObsessed)

Joanie loves orgasms! (DListed)

Vanilla Ice put on ice (JustJared)

Britney Spears is Blanche DuBois in the new Moby musical A Streetcar Named Batshiat (CircusHour)

Alicia Keys is a conspiracy theorist (POTP)

RIP Cedella Booker. Say hi to your son Bob Marley when you get to the other side (CelebrityDirt)

Melanie Griffith’s kid is no Rumer Willis (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Padma Lakshmi models the Ed’s Linens Collection (GoFugYourself)

Hollywood flashback to 1999 (FilmExperience)

Reality tv kills four (Mollygood)