Ayyyy!

La Toya Jacksanity (SeriouslyOMG)

Nicolette Sheridan exudes fabulousness (Celebslam)

America’s next top freak (IBBB)

Madonna Global Media Domination Tour (JensJuice)

Tom Cruise loses his Packer (AgentBedhead)

Ginger Spice and the Goth Lesbian of Doom (ImNotObsessed)

Britney Spears and Big Sur (DailyStab)

Play the Celebrity Cosmetic Surgery Game! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Daydream Believer in the magic of Davy Jones Karaoke (Defamer)

Amy Winehouse is a commuter’s worst nightmare (CelebritySmack)

Pot/Kettle Pot/Potkettle What I mean to say is Ashlee/Britney (CeleBitchy)

Uma Thurman’s lawyer will butt-rape France (InTouch)

Mariah and Mr Mariah have been inseparable since marrying last week. Uh, thanks for that, PR machine (PopSugar)

Beverly Hills Chihuahua! (DListed)

1. This is how you safely secure your assistant before throwing knives at them 
2. See what happens when you play around with superglue?
3. The nice lady bodyguard is just protecting Justin from his fans
4. They are participating in an earthquake drill
5. Kabbalah demands it

Somebody takes the Link Challenge to a new, post-literary level (CelebritySmack)

The twiglets strike back: celeb on pap violence (Defamer)

Sienna Miller flees the country after Pap Attack (PopSugar)

All hail Zombie Captain America! (AgentBedhead)

Guess the celebrity rack! (Derober)

Marilyn Manson is trying to kill Evan Rachel Wood (ImNotObsessed)

Kylie Minogue spins her web of domination, brings executioners (StyleDash)

Perez Hilton to assault your closet! (OK!)

The Amy Winehouse on Crack Rampage Show airs a new episode (Radar)

Amy Winehouse on Crack Rampage Show moved to new location: lockup (DailyStab)

Pregnant Old Nicole Kidman knifed in back by Amelie actress (CeleBitchy)

Kelly Osbourne attacks an innocent sidewalk and a defenceless wall (DListed)

Grand Theft Auto wipes out the competition (LifeLine)

Pete Doherty will kill him (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay Lohan is mean, ugly (PopSugar)

Karl Lagerfeld is a gun-toting seal. Get Kiefer Sutherland to club him already! (GoFugYourself)

Old pinko hippie vegan to give away album, singlehandedly crush recording industry (PerezHilton)

Happy Birthday, Cougarman! George Clooney is 47 (ImNotObesessed)

Would you be the filling in an Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn sandwich? (CelebrityDirt)

Attack of the Slash! (TheRadReport)

Dustin Hoffman farts in Tom Cruise’s general direction (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour’s dream date (CandyKirby)

Ashley Olsen is no Elizabeth Hurley; Mary-Kate is no Joey Heatherton (Websters)

Uma Thurman’s stalker is a man of convictions. Felony convictions (GabbyBabble)

Pete Doherty on the loose! Lock up your crack! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mister Amy Winehouse may not be entirely respectable (TheSun)

Kate Moss in bondage, lingerie, matrimony, and gainful employment (AgentBedhead)

La Lohan is light-fingered (TheBlemish)

Ant-Man rides the Iron Man’s shiny coattails to new movie deal (Defamer)

Heath Ledger dolls selling like mad (Gawker)

Mariah Carey may have a brain under that weave: she got a prenup (CeleBitchy)

It’s SIR Kylie now! (UKPopSugar)

Beck is back, bitches! (PerezHilton)

Amy Winehouse’s brain makes a break for it, digging escape hatch now (CelebritySmack)

The Chronicles of Narnia, live at Barnes & Noble (JustJared)

Oprah’s critics pick wrong target (Bossip)

Q: I am a very busy woman. In between singing, dancing, choreographing and preparing for my upcoming world tour, I don’t have a lot of time for shoe shopping (unlike Mariah Carey).  Because of this, I never seem to have the right shoes to go with my outfits. What should I do?

A: Ideally you could abduct The Manolo and bind him to a life of luxurious servitude as your personal shoe stylist. But as a backup plan, you should also invest in a pantsuit of generous length so that nobody notices the incongruity of your footwear.

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

David Blaine keeps his mouth shut for 17 minutes, 4 seconds longer than I thought he could (CeleBitchy)

Pink Floyd’s pig is an ironic cultural critic (SeriouslyOMG)

Gape at Christina Ricci’s long-lost twin! (CandyKirby)

Gasp at the humongous tips left by Johnny “Has-No-Human-Flaws” Depp (GabbyBabble)

Wipe that frown off your face with Frownies! (IBBB)

Ashley Olsen will show you her tiny gerbil teeth (CelebWarship)

Open wide, here it comes, Miley (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Katie Holmes soon to star in the Camp Gold Base Follies production of “The Day the Clown Cried” (AgentBedhead)

Gosling protests for poultry! (ICYDK)

Dr Teeth not included: Rocker stage name stories (Spinner)

Amy Winehouse has a love bite (PopSugar)

New York’s great eccentrics (Gawker)

The Curse of the Beautiful People! (Defamer)

Miley Cyrus seriously needs to keep her mouth shut (DailyStab)

Angelina wipes that smile off Gwyneth’s face (ImNotObsessed)

Paris Hilton’s boyfriend writes the soundtrack to her next cavity search (CelebritySmack)

Miley Cyrus is Electra Woman for the 21st Century! (Celebuwreck)

Speaking of “parent issues:” Michael Jackson Comeback Threat Alert Red (CelebSlam)

Gwyneth Paltrow is only ever Gwyneth Paltrow, even when it costs other people a fortune (CeleBitchy)

Gwyneth Paltrow pulls a Miley Cyrus, twenty years later (NOTW)

Amy Poehler will be a good Baby Mama (Derober)

Why Miley Cyrus’ overexposure is all Annie Leibovitz’s fault (Gawker)

TR Knight brings GLAAD tidings politicians don’t want to hear (E!)

Celebrity beverages. Must be of legal age or, presumably, on an Annie Leibovitz shoot (Jossip)

Annie Leibovitz is sorry we all misunderstood the naked fifteen-year-old “art” (WendyWayrad)

Battle of the B-Movie Directors (AgentBedhead)

Miley Cyrus just wants to make you happy (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Kirk Douglas defends the olds (Defamer)

John Travolta sez: looking like a porn star is not just for kids anymore! (Yeeeeah)

In sexually-exploited-former-child-star news: Britney sane enough to reprise HIMYM role (Dlisted)

Slash’s kids keep their clothes and their attitude ON, baby! (SeriouslyOMG)

Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn are so money, yet lack cabfare? (PopSugar)

Beyonce and Jay-Z have good old-fashioned values (HolyMoly)

Meanwhile, 15-year-old with longest odds actually turning out classy (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Miley Cyrus is a budding Annie Leibovitz herself (CelebritySmack)

Pamela Anderson works hard for PETA, does not know what you mean by “cognitive dissonance” (PopBytes)

Is the Hoff old enough to be dating EVE HERSELF??? (ImNotObsessed)

Gwyneth Paltrow wears what the Manolo tells her to (JustJared)

Renee Zellweger, charter member, Starfuckers Incorporated (DailyStab)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck and My Little Pony: which one of these is slumming? (CandyKirby)

Shia LaBoeuf may or may not have gotten lucky(? if you call it that) (WendyWayrad)

John Cusack refers Paul Leydon to the hand (JeanJacketsBad)

Bloody Hell! Pete Doherty is insane (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

JLo goes all, like, Alpha Mommy on Nicole Richie (IBBB)

Adrien Brody is marrying retired Aunt Selma from Miami Beach? (ImNotObsessed)

Flat busted: Amy Winehouse arrested (People)

Ellen DeGeneris gently gyno-probes Ashlee Simpson (CelebritySmack)

Harrison Ford’s Brazilliant deforestation PSA/man-on-man chest waxing video (Defamer)

Celebrity cosmetic surgery slideshow (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Betty and Veronica: still best frenemies (CounterfeitChic)

Madonna is a natural beauty on “Today.” And what planet? (DListed)

Mariah Carey to turn Empire State Building gay (HollywoodRag)

Heidi Fleiss on her high horse again (WOWReport)

The happy(?) couple: Carmen Electra and Rock Himbo #3 pose for engagement pix (Websters)

Encounters with Seth Green (Mollygood)

Jonas Brothers kill and bury Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash’s musical cred (MTVBuzzworthy)

Clay Aiken thinks people from Omaha are stupid (EvilBeet)

Rachel Zoe is one cougar who never changes her spots (GoFugYourself)

Scientology teaches Katie Holmes to speak in tongues (CeleBitchy)

Scientology’s niece speaks! (AgentBedhead)

John Lennon Link Challenge!
Want in on the irregularly-run Link Challenge du jour?
Just start theme linking and don’t forget who luvs ya, Baby!

All They Need is Love? Nixon’s lawyer threatens Lennon’s widow (MovieCityIndie)

Taxman: Wesley Snipes faces three years in the pokey (Defamer)

Your Mother Should Know: Clay Aiken and Tyra Banks get physical on QVC (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Double Fantasy? Quentin Tarantino and Verne Troyer pimp it out (AgentBedhead)

How Do You Sleep? Tom Cruise to return to Oprah (ImNotObsessed)

Working Class Heroes, Public Enemies: Win a chance to work with Johnny Depp (CharityBuzz)

Woman: Sexiest stars (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Bigger than Jesus? Heidi Montag snubs the White House (CandyKirby)

Stand by Me? Whutchewtalkin’ ’bout, Willis? Gary Coleman to divorce (DListed)

Watching the Wheels Go By: Paris Hilton to be thrown off Good Charlotte tour? (HolyMoly)

Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band: Picture fun with celebrities (CelebritySmack)

Beautiful Boy? Jada Pinkett-Smith has a major mullet (Yeeeeah)

Jealous Guy: Patrick Dempsey checks out the competition (DailyStab)

Mother: Baby Mama premiere with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (CeleBitchy)

Hello, Goodbye: Orlando Brown resurfaces after MIA scare (TheBlemish)

She Said She Said: Elliot Spitzer liked to play with toys is what she said! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Flying: Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg in Amsterdam (CityRag)

The Fool on the Hill: homeless Congressman sleeps in bars? (Wonkette)

Amy Winehouse, I Want To Tell You you’re losing it (CelebWarship)

A Day In the Life of reality tv (Mollygood)

I Am the Walrus: World’s largest baby (PerezHilton)

The Good Soldier: Link challenge accepted (AgentBedhead)

NHL/Hollywood doppelgangers (Defamer)

Hey, big spender! TomKat blows $100,000 on Suri’s birthday party (GabbyBabble)

Smelling a trend: Julia Roberts is “naturally fragrant” (Ecorazzi)

Kelly Clarkson is a naturist (TheBlemish)

Paris Hilton doesn’t stay at the Moscow Hilton, got banned from Moscow Hyatt (TheRadReport)

Spears Family a living example of laissez-faire divinity (WendyWayrad)

A waiting world salivates: OJ Simpson vs Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! (AgentBedhead)

Harriet Carter and the penis leaker? (IBBB)

Laurie Anderson finally makes an honest man of Lou Reed (CelebWarship)

Miley Cyrus, literatus? (People)

Will Ferrell still willing to work with children (DailyStab)

The Revenge of Grace Jones: hot male celebs who look like lesbians (CityRag)

That’s so Orlando Brown: star goes missing (BittenAndBound)

Also missing: Lake Bell’s neck (WebstersIsMyBitch)

MarkeyMarkMarkIII (ImNotObsessed)

Mariah Carey not a breeder: call from Alicia Keys on line #1? (CelebritySmack)

Elijah Wood in: Sex and the Spaghetti (CandyKirby)

Amy Winehouse is British youth’s top heroin heroine (NewMusicExpress)

Kumar goes to U Penn without Harold! (Celebitchy)

Rachel McAdams is a Genius Barfly (JustJared)

Michelle Williams is haunted by the ghost of Heath Ledger? (Mollygood)

American Idol, kiss, KISS (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Tila Tequila has a series and Paris Hilton doesn’t: justice? (Dlisted)

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)