Ayyyy!

David Hasselhoff stars in It Came from the D-List! (Lolebrity)

Zac Efron in Three’s Company (MikeyMars)

Matt Damon and Brad Pitt in Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)

Gossip Blogger in My So-Called Life (raincoaster)

The Young and the Wasted: The Gawker 20 (Gawker)

The Spice Girls star in The (Gilded) Birdcage (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Garner in The Family Way (CelebritySmack)

Method Man in The Man Who Fell to Earth (POTP)

Nicole Kidman in Heaven (CelebWarship)

Salma Hayek makes a triumphant return in The Single Life (DailyStab)

Corey vs Corey (Defamer)

Michael Lohan Jr in Continent (CandyKirby)

Revenge of the Unfairly Slandered Tomatoes! (IBBB)

Britney and KFed in Agreement (ImNotObsessed)

The Dark Knight in Box Office Boffo! (JustJared)

Flavor Flav in Articulate (Mollygood)

Kelly Osbourne in Stripes (UKPopsugar)

Ashanti in Chintz (Crunk&Disorderly)

Matthew McConaughey in Better Late Than Never (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake in Carcerated! (DListed)

Question: I’ve been told by trusted sources that I have a great pair of legs and my ass is pretty hot too.  I guess God gave them to me to make up for the lesser qualities like my rampant narcissism.  How should I show these glorious body parts off to their best advantage? PS I hate wearing skirts and dresses.

Answer:  I am delighted to play a part in encouraging your vanity.  Allow me to introduce you to a wonderful, magical thing called spandex.  Behold how it clings to you like a needy lover, making you feel even more sexier than you really are. From the waist down you are as impressive as a pair of freshly shined shoes! You can do no better in showcasing your perfect proportions, except maybe with body paint but that can’t be as easily removed with a bucket of talcum powder.

And if your top half isn’t too bad as well, why not spandex it all? Oh what the heck - spandex it all, I say and damn the consequences!

Brad Pitt is hen pec-ed (Lolebrity)

Lauren Conrad screws the pooch (CelebritySmack)

TMI from QT (AgentBedhead)

Like a virgin?: topless model and Myspace celebrity Miley Cyrus (DailyStab)

SJP’s mole is MIA (Defamer)

New Jersey’s Confederate Christian manluv (FourFour)

Nelly Furtado’s gorillas attack rapper (GabbyBabble)

Black Canary Barbie not a hit with fundies (DListed)

Barenaked Ladies man is an animal! (CeleBitchy)

Housebreaking ANTM (EvilBeet)

Andy Dick is one (EOnline)

Helen Mirren, 62 and flawless (CandyKirby)

Helen Mirren, not so bad forty years ago either (raincoaster)

Hayden howls (ImNotObsessed)

Bindi Irwin’s relentless plan for world domination (IBBB)

This Bat has flown (DeadlineHollywood)

Banksy says Pooh! (Radar)

PETA has gone too doggone far! (Mollygood)

Robert Blake hangz wit al hiz frenz (Lolebrity)

Pete Doherty demonstrates oral hygiene, a heart, mendacity (AgentBedhead)

Vince Vaughn needs braiiiiiiiinssssss (Websters)

Suzanne Summers shows you the graveyard of Alan Thicke’s hopes and dreams (SeriouslyOMG)

Pete Doherty will win Kate Moss back with Diamond of Death! (CeleBitchy)

David Beckham prefers the back door (UKPopSugar)

PerezHilton hater suing him for making her look bad (MollyGood)

Beelzebub Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller an item (JustJared)

Celebrity spawn for fun and profit (ImNotObsessed)

Racist, sexist or just plain defamatory: you decide! (CandyKirby)

Aubrey O’Day fill-in fug (GoFugYourself)

Sex Zombie King Hugh Hefner and his posse of victims (DailyStab)

The Dark Knight is our shining hope (CelebritySmack)

Gwyneth Paltrow must have sold her soul (Defamer)

Lisa Bonet’s AngelHeart past catches up with her (Crunk&Disorderly)

Oh, Please, God! (AgentBedhead)

The Next Joker! (CelebritySmack)

Hancock vs Cock (Dailystab)

Who wore it best? (CandyKirby)

Fish pimpin’ with Beckham (Hollywoodbackwash)

Eva Longoria is Orange  (JustJared)

The Legs win the Championship (GoFugYourself)

Meet the Hedgehog! (Mollygood)

Naomi Campbell rehabs a garden (PerezHilton)

Fiddy fit to be a dad (BlackCelebrityKids)

America’s Next Top Wig Model (IBBB)

Marilyn Manson should give her a call (Yeeeeah)

Beetlejuice is black? (Crunk&Disorderly)

TomKat sprays entire playground before letting TomKitten loose in it (CeleBitchy)

Maggie Gyllenhaal is Undead! (Websters)

Hips don’t lie…and eyes will never un-see this (YouTube)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Battle of the Matthews! (TeenyManolo)

Katherine Heigl/Greys Anatomy Writers war at Defcom 3 (Defamer)

Pete Wentz wants YOU! To fetch him a taco! (Lolebrity)

Evander Holyfield pays child support after legal battle (BlackCelebrityKids)

Carla Bruni’s chansons d’amour leave 7/G8 cold (AgentBedhead)

JonBenet’s family cleared (CeleBitchy)

Ma Brady speaks out! (CelebritySmack)

Lisa Bonet doesn’t let being born 40 years too late stop her from rocking the hippie look (CelebrityBabyScoop)

David Lee Roth is nuts (TorontoSun)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is OK! (DailyStab)

Miley Cyrus is being all Miley Cyrus (DanasDirt)

Tom Cruise in: The Village People! (Defamer)

The Gawker Glossary (Gawker)

Matthew McConaughey rents the kid out for a snotload of cashola (DListed)

Christian Bale…you may commence drooling prior to clicking on the link (Websters)

Michael Jackson’s got some new wheels! (SeriouslyOMG)

Mary-Kate Trollsen is back to rehab (ASL)

Sarah Jessica Parker: The Bitter Bitten! (PopSugar)

John Mayer loves Isaac (Mollygood)

A star is born: Katie Holmes stars in The Scream (Lolebrity)

What should we name the new Mini-McConaughey? (TeenyManolo)

Hope reborn for Kate and Pete (AgentBedhead)

The newborn reality stars of Big Brother (CelebritySmack)

Pete Doherty robs the cradle, Sting after him with a shotgun (POTP)

Child star rocks the pirate-themed bustier (Websters)

Best boobs new or used? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

BevHills Chihuahua: a revolution is born (EvilBeet)

New parents Halle Berry and Almost-Mister Halle Berry have a night of freedom (DailyStab)

Mark Wahlberg and Rhea Durham shop for baby stuff (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Why Sunday for a baby born Monday? The Kidman-Urban theories (CeleBitchy)

Prince Harry doing children’s charity work in Lesotho (People)

Usher and Baby Usher win the Photoshop Challenge (DListed)

Erykah Badu: baby on board? (Crunk&Disorderly)

Baby clothes make a comeback (GoFugYourself)

Sherri Shepherd saying something dim about kids and moms (GabbyBabble)

The Bindi Irwin doll not as conflicted as those neurotic Barbie&Skipper types (IBBB)

Angelina still hasn’t popped (JustJared)

Ashlee Simpson’s maternity wardrobe an improvement (Mollygood)

Gwyneth Paltrow supports the White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood (PopSugar)

Amy Winehouse: HoverWino is Hovering (Lolebrity)

Attention Bloggers: enter the Stylin’ Stila giveaway #2 (TeenyManolo)

Nicole Kidman has Sunday on Monday? (SeriouslyOMG)

The Pivert is a scofflaw! (ASL)

“Air Quotes” are “in” (WizbangPop)

Mac Guy single again (PopSugar)

Laura Bush, American Wife? (Radar)

Party at Barack’s! (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Homebody Chelsea Davy tired of Partying Prince Harry of Hearts? (PerezHilton)

Matthew McCoughCoughHey knows where the beef is (Defamer)

Blaaaaaaake Incarcerated still smack’s bitch (Mollygood)

Jude Law and Lily Cole look down their tiny noses at Radiohead (JustJared)

Steve-O makes hella sense. World Ending! (ImNotObsessed)

Kim Kardashian smells (DailySta

The shocking shrunken head of Katie Holmes (IBBB)

All the Mini Me Sex Secrets you didn’t know and really didn’t feel like asking about (GabbyBabble)

Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy rock the Boratkini (CelebritySmack)

It’s “Osbournes,” not “Osmonds!” (CeleBitchy)

Ashley Kaufman can has dysfunctional famlee, recording contract? (Lolebrity)

Heidi Fleiss, failed madam, successful reality show star (WOWReport)

A-Rod behaving like a free agent (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Is this a musical which I see before me,
The Beckhams the subject? Come, David, let me clutch thee;
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. (SeriouslyOMG)

Jake Gyllenhaal is a swordsman (ASL)

The pregnant woman/man gives birth (LilSugar)

England hates America: REVOLT! (Radar)

Jay-Z keeps slaves? (PerezHilton)

Chris Martin: a boob saved by boobies (Mollygood)

Anderson Cooper is in the Advocate and he doesn’t care who knows it (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Jack Black stole his mom’s stash (ImNotObsessed)

Chace Crawford hearts the cougars (JustJared)

What not to wear…LIVE! (GoFugYourself)

Relive the Rave! (FourFour)

Christie Brinkley will soon be free of that creep (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan beats the odds, makes it to 22 (Defamer)

Matt Damon no longer sexiest man alive (DailyStab)

Coming soon: a mysterious poisoning in Afghanistan (Crunk&Disorderly)

Shockingly, Katie Holmes fails to sell more than a million dollars in tickets (AgentBedhead)

Matt Damon ar Canoodlian? (Lolebrity)

Brit Naomi Campbell represents Africa (AgentBedhead)

Mary-Kate Olsen brings, wears, the kimono and kiltie-based Wackness (CelebritySmack)

Brangelina donates $1million to help children of war (Websters)

Amy Winehouse downsizes the party (DListed)

Sigourney in space? (DailyStab)

Ben Affleck talks about the Congo (ImNotObsessed)

Barack Obama loses the bimbo vote! (CandyKirby)

Cruise Beckham (CelebDirtyLaundry)

GyllenSpooning (JustJared)

Five dumbest reality show gimmicks (Mollygood)

Gayest movie robots (Radar)

Prince Harry, rump roast inspector (UKPopsugar)

Mario Lopez ChestHairGate! (Defamer)

Tim McGraw boots an attacker (CeleBitchy)

I didn’t know Ashanti was in Ice Capades (GoFugYourself)

Oprah’s is the biggest I’ve ever seen! (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Kanye’s mother’s Doctor Death no longer Doctor, DUI’d for good measure (PerezHilton)

Well, what do you know? You CAN be too thin! (ParkAvenuePeerage)

For some ladies it seems, the grand occasion of Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday is really no different to an overnight affair at the Playboy Mansion.

Hoo hyerd Amy Winehouse 4 “babbysittur?” (Lolebrity)

Matt Damon = “Ned Flanders?” Must be seen to be believed! (Websters)

Britney looks, behaves, “almost” like a normal person (ASL)

“It’s SIR Salman to you biotches now!” (WizbangPop)

“Teh gheys” are hot for Frodo (Radar)

Is Colin Farrell Minnie Driver’s “babydaddy?” (CeleBitchy)

Justin Timberlake neglects hygene “down below” (UKPopsugar)

Sean Avery learns why they call it a “promotion” (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Brooke Hogan’s butt is “an old car” (CelebritySmack)

File under “no surprise:” Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen kids are in therapy (ImNotObsessed)

Solange looks “interesting” don’t you think? (CandyKirby)

“The Hoff” is hurting! (DailyStab)

“Mulder and Scully” smack down the lone remaining G&R fan (AgentBedhead)

“Rumble” in Malibu II! (Defamer)

Sherri Sheppard is a “big” fan of Chippendales (Crunk+Disorderly)

Drew Lachey is a “Patsy” (JustJared)