Prince William and his faithful Murse

He may have been a mere tow-headed tyke, but even then Prince William would have none of your saucy sartorial side-eye. A boy needs his murse.

Prince Heidi Ho

HRH Prince Harry of Great Britain. Harry, short for Heidi, apparently. Dare we hope Heidi Ho?

Queen and Dorgis

Well, actually these aren’t corgis. They’re the corgi/dachshund cross that resulted from the time Princes Margaret’s dachsie got his freak on with one of the Queen’s bitches. Still cute though, and just in time for SunDog!

Prince Hot Ginge checks the crown jewels

Can I give you a hand with that, Harry?

Do what you do best in the comments section for fabulous, completely imaginary prizes! Zombie Pippa Middleton has it coming.

zombie pippa

He put a ring on the Duchess of Alba. She paid for it, but he put it there.

Congratulations to Manolosphere favorite the Duchess of Alba and her boytoy, Whatsisname. It was a lovely ceremony by all accounts, and a lovely dress (with requisite detailing on the back, because of course the guests are staring at the back of the dress for most of the ceremony).

Baby got back! Well, the Duchess of Alba got it.

Also lovely: the undoubtably soon-to-be-made romcom, starring Vincent Cassel and Jocelyn Wildenstein.

It nearly kills me to admit it, but while I deplore the Duchess of Cornwall’s taste in most things (including husbands; including other people’s) I do reserve a soft spot in my heart for her taste in hats. I’d steal every single one of them right off her head (and then send them out to be properly cleaned, because she’s a stinky smoker).

Now THAT is fascinating!

This? Wins. I love it because of the cray-cray.

Then again, at Zara Phillips’ wedding, she didn’t have much in the way of competition.

Royal Wedding Hats round 2

I mean, if you’ve seen one beige, tilted UFO, you’ve seen them all, really. Beatrice at least gets points for colour, and for using a pasta plate instead.

There is no official “Camilla” cocktail (although she looks like she’s no stranger to that favorite of the Highlands, Chiskey) but here is the recipe for the cocktails Camille Grammer served on the Real Housewives’ Dinner Party from Hell episode. And now, some gossip links.

In the cards: in which I freak out a tarot card reader. AGAIN (raincoaster)

Sunday Caption Contest: Spock is Not Impressed with Alexander McQueen (Ayyyy)

Mystery Meat: Sautee Anything! Celebrity Food Truck Concepts. (ManoloFood)

Are YOU a Believer?????/??? Andy Samberg is, thank Tinkerbell! (Lolebrity)

Who is your favorite comedian? And “none of them” is acceptable (CrassTalk)

Rachael Zoe is back, and determined to clothe the world! (BusyBeeBlogger)

I’m wondering if we can enter Rachel Zoe in this (CelebritySmack)

Lindsay Lohan pioneers new frontiers in debasement (CelebVIPLounge)

Oh, lookie: Tila Tequila still exists! (CityRag)

Kings of Leon, bums in Dallas (DailyStab)

Reese Witherspoon will ice you! (EarSucker)

Oh, this should end well. Charlie Sheen in charge of his ex-wife’s rehab (FitFabCeleb)

Stars and their Hummers: photos! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Lady Gaga has the largest collection of Ukranian mail order brides in the WORLD! (HaveUHeard)

Kim Kardashian scores a Wang (HollywoodHiccups)

Do you really want to look at Madonna’s W.E.? (INeedMyFix)

Smells like a lawsuit to me, Britney! (PoorBritney)

Gravity! It works on celebrities, too! (PopBytes)

Hugh Jackman, half naked and wet. You’re welcome (SwoonWorthy)

Selah.

Marta Marzotto

Italian designer Marta Marzotto is indeed the epitome of fierce, and if you doubt it, she will most likely shiv a bitch, this ex-Countess having been sentenced to hard prison time for blithely making off with her almost-stepson’s patrimony. As if that weren’t enough, she’s related to my beloved Lapo! Why, she’s like a lost Gabor sister! Who’s to say those booties don’t conceal a tracking anklet of some kind? Just as soon as I reconfigure the DEW Line to trace Julian Assange’s movements, I’ll take a quick peek around Milan for Marta M. and let you know. We should probably keep an eye on this one.

She looks like she’d take her vodka neat, so let’s toast this crazy old cougar with some Cougar Juice Vodka and some gossip links.

The Importance of Being Guido: in which transcripts from the Jersey Shore are read in the style of Oscar Wilde(raincoaster)

Rihanna’s Waking Nightmare looks strangely like most of mine, actually (Ayyyy)

Bagel BBQ FTW! (ManoloFood)

That Kardashian Style! On display at closing time in bars everywhere (Lolebrity)

Worst TV Show Openings; why do I just know there will be a lot of 80′s in there? (Crasstalk)

Ben Affleck, ironic hairpiece wearer (BusyBeeBlogger)

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake stays Brooooooooooooooooooooke! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Mariah Carey is sefectly pober! (CelebritySmack)

Smoker Katy Perry, on addiction (CelebVIPLounge)

Those British coroners can make a mystery out of ANYTHING, can’t they? (DailyStab)

Lindsay Lohan, too, is serfectl – LISTEN PEOPLE IT’S SPELLED “Ketel One” AND IF I SEE ANOTHER “Kettle” I AM GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND GIVE YOU ONE OR TWO LUMPS WHERE IT’LL DO THE MOST GOOD OKAY????(EarSucker)

Harrison Ford is a GILF (FitFabCeleb)

6 celebrity pizzafaces (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Mister President, I am here to serve. That’s why I brought these kneepads (HaveUHeard)

RIP Amy Winehouse: no, Blaaaaake is not invited to the funeral (HollywoodHiccups)

Prince Hot Ginge at the races; Ladies, start your engines! (INeedMyFix)

Linnocent can’t afford therapy, because Saint Tropez is expensive, dammit! (PopBytes)

Bloggers take note: Alan Rickman appreciation=automatic inclusion in the links. Got it? (SwoonWorthy)

Annalynne McCord could use a good seamstress (TheSkinny)

Jay-Z and Kanye want you to watch them on the throne? (TheSkinnyChic)

Selah.