Archive - Salma Hayek RSS Feed

Friday Caption Contest: Salma in Distress Edition

You know what to do. Do it in the comments for fabulous, imaginary prizes.

Salma Hayek and a fireman

Salma Hayek and a fireman

Salma Hayek goes seepies

Salma Hayek PJs

Salma Hayek PJs

Ayyyy! Somebody alert the Manolo! Looks like Salma Hayek has got herself a job as a blogger!

Hump Day Hunk: Adrien Brody

Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

Adrien Brody's prayers were answered when he made Hump Day Hunk

There’s just something about this skeevy bastard that I like. Maybe it’s that he’s a winning rally driver. Maybe it’s that he looks so intellectual, and dresses so Pool Shark. Maybe it’s that hell, it’s been a long time and … but there, I’ve said too much. And besides, I can’t run Prince Harry every week, can I?

Let’s toast to Adrien’s dream come true with a spirited round of Pool Shark, the Drinking Game and some gossip links.

Wine A-Z; the ultimate Go Cup! A jogging bra/wine skin combo? Why the hell not, my camelbak imbues my Sauv Blanc with aromas of Gatorade as it is. (Manolofood)

Van Gogh and Orcas Unicorn Chaser. Make your hump day a little smoother with soothing pictures of swirling stars and wild whales in Downtown Vangroover. Yes, orcas belong in a gossip roundup. I’m Canadian, dammit.  (raincoaster)

Top That! Princess Beatrice’s amazing Hat of Hideousness (+10) is for sale on eBay to benefit children, if not onlookers (Ayyyy)

George Clooney chickens out. The television remake of Men Who Stare At Goats was disappointingly downscaled. (Lolebrity)

Life, Death, Violence, Barbie, and extremely mixed messages. I’m not exactly sure where the war crimes tribunal comes into it, but apparently it does, somewhere. Also: Ken is a draft dodger? (Crasstalk)

Dear God, Johnny Depp is a kinky beast. Taking a page from Chuck Berry, he made Penelope Cruz dress up as a … no, I can’t even say it. Seriously, nobody would put Salma Hayek through that. (AgentBedhead)

Is House getting evicted? Hugh Laurie has a great big, leaky mouth. There, take THAT image into your Bertie/Jeeves slash-thinking mind. (BusyBeeBlogger)

Yet another Jagger kid poses nekkid. Surely I thought we’d run out of these potato-faced wonders by now, but apparently not. Is “Club Kid” really a career choice? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

This is perhaps the most terrifying headline of all time, until you smack yourself in the head and say “IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU PERVERT” and move on. But still. (CelebritySmack)

Oh, Will Smith. It’s not the size: it’s how you use it! And using it to annoy an entire neighborhood is just Letting the Thetans Win. (CelebVIPLounge)

Bristol Palin, now surgically enhanced! But not improved: it wasn’t brain surgery, after all. (DailyStab)

Taylor Swift will out a bitch! This girl doesn’t exist off the record, and if you’re dating her, neither do you (EarSucker)

Lady Gaga is Asian? Golly, she MUST have had some serious work done; she doesn’t look it. (FitFabCeleb)

Owen Freaking Wilson and yeah, like, a bunch of other celebs in Cannes, but who gives a rat’s ass about them? Eh? OWEN WILSON! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston’s steamy banana handling. Look ma, no hands! No desperation, either…that is so NOT the sound of faint weeping I hear. Nosiree Bob. (HaveUHeard)

L’innocent sentenced to live in mansion next door to coke connection. Poor thing. That’ll teach HER! (HollywoodHiccups)

Who’s the $100 million man? The one going around spreading herpes? Yeah, “That one who dated Paris Hilton” doesn’t really narrow it down any. (INeedMyFix)

Joan Rivers better watch her back: Kermit the Frog is after her job. The Red Carpet just got a little greener and a LOT cuter (PopBytes)

Adorable Prince Harry and adorable puppy being adorable. Adorbz! What are you still doing here? CLICKY CLICK CLICK! (Swoonworthy)

Caption the Gouvernator and his ex. I’m thinking something Harry Potter related. She reminds me of Emma Thompson’s character, the Divinology professor. (RightCelebrity)


Ginger Maple Tea Links

It’s a health kick, what can I say? Sliced ginger, hot water, and maple syrup. Still better than well whiskey!

3 girls 1 cover (TenGossip)

Salma Hayek in disguise as a librarian (ASL)

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a Salma Hayek impersonator (CandyKirby)

Miley Cyrus sez Asians are goofy (Websters)

Britney’s still a two-fisted drinker (OMG)

Joaq toaqs (CelebWarship)

Grandma Fonda’s got a blog! (CeleBitchy)

How to date a Scientologist (AgentBedhead)

Introducing Neko Case (UKPopSugar)

Phelps thrown overboard (JustJared)

Lindsay Lohan hits the road (EvilBeet)

Madonna has issues (CelebritySmack)

Pet one-upmanship downsizes for the Recession (CelebuWreck)

Mack Rourke (Defamer)

Pity Jessica Alba! (AmyGrindhouse)

Pete to teach! (HolyMoly)

Monkey Gland and Panko Mango Links

The sadly out of fashion Monkey Gland is not as naughty as it sounds. Ditto panko mango.

Salma Hayek shows off (Lolebrity)

Sweatin’ to the Oldies with Britney Spears! (CelebrityDirt)

Jennifer Aniston goes back to her roots (BusyBeeBlogger)

Janet Jackson unable to perform because of old U2 song (CelebuWreck)

Kanye West’s sitcom goes south (AgentBedhead)

Minnie Driver end-runs the tabloids, releases baby pix on MySpace (CeleBitchy)

Can somebody loan Lindsay Lohan 5k? It’s for a good cause! (CelebritySmack)

Joe Biden’s botox bombshell? (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Britney continues her ongoing attempt to crack the professional go-kart circuit (IBBB)

Captain Jack Sparrow’s treasure chest is worth $54 million (Defamer)

The cult of Tina Fey (Gawker)

Robert Downey Jr doesn’t need your abuse; he’ll abuse himself! (CandyKirby)

Karl Lagerfeld in: Green Acres! (FakeKarl)

Sarah Palin for Covergirl (GOTA)


Kingston Rossdale upstages his has-been entourage (SeriouslyOMG)

Salma Hayek, not exaggerating

Bigger than your goddamn head

Fellow citizens of the world, I need to warn you that these are not insignificant things you can just ignore. What we’re talking about here is huge….much bigger than the likes you’ve ever seen before and they’re not going to go away anytime soon! 

Still don’t believe me? Why don’t you switch to German TV and take a good look for yourselves?

Ja, no melamine in these

Beach Blanket Linko!

David Hasselhoff stars in It Came from the D-List! (Lolebrity)

Zac Efron in Three’s Company (MikeyMars)

Matt Damon and Brad Pitt in Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)

Gossip Blogger in My So-Called Life (raincoaster)

The Young and the Wasted: The Gawker 20 (Gawker)

The Spice Girls star in The (Gilded) Birdcage (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Garner in The Family Way (CelebritySmack)

Method Man in The Man Who Fell to Earth (POTP)

Nicole Kidman in Heaven (CelebWarship)

Salma Hayek makes a triumphant return in The Single Life (DailyStab)

Corey vs Corey (Defamer)

Michael Lohan Jr in Continent (CandyKirby)

Revenge of the Unfairly Slandered Tomatoes! (IBBB)

Britney and KFed in Agreement (ImNotObsessed)

The Dark Knight in Box Office Boffo! (JustJared)

Flavor Flav in Articulate (Mollygood)

Kelly Osbourne in Stripes (UKPopsugar)

Ashanti in Chintz (Crunk&Disorderly)

Matthew McConaughey in Better Late Than Never (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake in Carcerated! (DListed)


Patrick Swayze’s dismal diagnosis (Defamer)

The 5 best faces of Patrick Swayze in Ghost (BWE)

50 gayest songs of all time (SameSame)

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are dancing, but who’s the fool? (AgentBedhead)

Salma Hayek prefers boys. Sorry Penny! (Dlisted)

Catherine Zeta Jones has some body image issues (GabbyBabble)

Demi Moore allegedly does not? There’s no justice! (CelebritySmack)

Conflicted Matthew McConaughey designs the very t-shirts he spurns (E!)

The Amy Winehouse soap opera continues apace (Yeeeeah)

Mary-Kate Olsen better keep her monkey paws off mah mayun! (Star)

Daniel Radcliffe faces serious death threats, gets SAS guards (Celebitchy)

Shar Jackson sticks up for FedEx (Bossip)

The Anna Nicole Smith movie: words fail (JustJared)

Julia Roberts and Ozzy Osbourne? (Cityrag)

Smells like…Daddy’s concert! (CelebNewsWire)

Best comedy of the last 30 years is…a joke! (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen is hospitalized for depression (EvilBeet)

Ben Stiller is pumped, Robert Downey Jr is black. Huh? (DailyStab)