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Cut that out!

Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy on the red carpet

Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy on the red carpet

Okay, if there’s anybody that doesn’t love these two, you may now close the blog and go back to, I dunno, Brittle Hipster Menthol Snobbery Blog or what-have-you. Now that I’ve got it straight that their new movie is not a sequel to the Robert DeNiro Heat, I’m all the more eager to see it.

And can we just stop for a moment and admire the way Sandy is absolutely nailing it here, fashion-wise? From the tips of her black pedicure to the strappy sandals to the cut out leather dress which signals Badassery and also the ability to wear a cut out leather dress in one’s forties to the unfussy, beachy hair, Sandra Bullock is owning it.

Which makes it my sad duty to say that Melissa is, unfortunately, not owning it. She ain’t even renting it. There is “easy” but then there is “shapeless.” And the scrolldown fug, Oh My God! If they were palazzo pants I might almost forgive this thing, with its tacky cheap zipper that won’t stay in place, its no-neckline neckline, and it’s revolting cupping of the tummy. But noooooo! The one place this thing is tight where it’s supposed to be tight is just where it shouldn’t be. It draws the eye to those awful $45-Payless-looking platforms and frankly make her look like she’s going to tip over any second. Unbalanced is the word for this look. The fabric seems nice, and the color is good on her if not amazing, but it doesn’t fit, and if it did fit it would still look damn awkward. Melissa, there are going to be a lot of red carpets in your future, and this ain’t your first time out at this particular rodeo. “Knockoff Norma Kamali” is not your look; learn this now.

The Dude…shops?

Awww. Jeff Bridges in person is even more adorable than The Big Lebowski, as I have had occasion to note. Now you may note it yourself, as we watch him crash The Little Lebowski, the Lebowskibilia shop.

And your trashy, low-rent gossip links for today:

On the decline of civility in intra-office memos in the United Kingdom (raincoaster)

Ten carats of PAIN! (Ayyyy)

Betty White Power! (Lolebrity)

Tales of the Cocktail (ManoloFood)

Pete Doherty clean and sober. In related news, temperatures in Hell reached record lows today (AgentBedhead)

Everybody’s pregnant except me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Viiiiiiiiggo! (CeleBitchy)

Say hello to the Butterscotch Colt (CelebDirtyLaundry)

We call that a No-Hawk where I come from (CelebritySmack)

Charo is ageless: it’s official (CityRag)

Usher usher’d offstage (DailyStab)

No, it’s not the PICTURES that got small (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Win Kiefer Sutherland? I’m in! (INeedMyFix)

Sandra Bullock is Quote of the Day (FitFabCeleb)

Rockabilly-O gossip links

Now with added flaming dice goodness!

The Julian Assange coloring book (raincoaster)

It! Is! Time! (Ayyyy)

King of the Road (Manolofood)

Chuck Norris fears this man (Lolebrity)

Interview with raincoaster (SurveyMagnet)

Beastie Boys beat 2010 (AgentBedhead)

Owen Wilson…daddy? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Demi Lovato morphing into Demi Moore? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Natalie Portman is a cannibal! (CeleBitchy)

Hold it against Britney (CelebritySmack)

Michael Douglas has left Tumortown (DailyStab)

Famous people: VERY different from you and me (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Natalie Portman in World’s Ugliest Maternity Dress (HaveUHeard)

Sandra Bullock simultaneously beats Jesse James AND ScarJo (INeedMyFix)

The verdict on holding it against Britney (PoorBritney)

Who invited TomKat? (PopBytes)

Mila Kunis gets real about weight (TheSkinny)

Empress Gaga? President Gaga? (EvilBeet)

Victoria Beckham to switch to flats in 6 months or so (GabbyBabble)

Trailer parks of the world wild for Bieber, apparently (FitFabCeleb)

Sy-Phillis! Cloris Leachman`s talent is contagious! (Movieline)

Selah.

Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

In this handout photo provided by MTV, actors Sacha Baron Cohen, Jennifer Aniston and John Cusack participate in the Hope For Haiti Now: A Global Benefit For Earthquake Relief telethon on January 22, 2010 in Los Angeles. UPI/Jeff Kravitz/HO

Sacha Baron Cohen, Jennifer Aniston and John Cusack enjoy a quiet Saturday night together, crank-calling Angelina Jolie. What do you think fueled this phone frenzy? I’d guess a few Wild Turkeys (like Jen’s last five movies).

Paul Newman has enemies (raincoaster)
Hogwarts uniforms get a fashionista makeover (Ayyyy)
Gaga is a MONSTER! (Lolebrity)
Liam Neeson elbows drunk anti-semite aside for part (CelebrityBeehive)
See Taylor. See Taylor’s Momsens (AgentBedhead)
If I were marrying that man, I’d hide my face too (BusyBeeBlogger)
Jon’s Hamm is free range (CeleBitchy)
Marion Cotillard should have bought a matched set (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Rod Stewart is a new parent (sorta) (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Celebrity pumpkinheads (CelebritySmack)
Dear Raccoon McPantsless (CojoStyle)
Canada’s most perennial export shows her assets. Again. (DailyStab)
Kim Kardashian doesn’t eat anyway (earsucker)
Your cokepants are safe! (EvilBeet)
Is there anyone this famewhore won’t date? (GabbyBabble)
Lady Gaga wearing half a My Little Pony (HaveUHeard)
This woman has the world’s most powerful cellphone (INeedMyFix)
This is the World’s Greatest Chick Flick (PerezHilton)
Britneyland is another country (PoorBritney)
Paris Hilton is dating up (PopBytes)

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Hump Day Links: Reheated Hamm Edition

I know, I know, we just had him, but for some reason I just feel like featuring him again today. The only problem is, I can’t decide which picture to use.

Do you like this one?

Mad Men actor Jon Hamm arrived at an office building in West Hollywood, California on September 27, 2010 to take care of some business. Jon was dressed very casual, could this be the studio of a new project?  Fame Pictures, Inc

or this one?

Jon Hamm got back. He should get back to my apartment as quickly as possible

Let’s drink to that with a nice, refreshing Screwdriver, from the official index to Mad Men Cocktails.

Mean Disney Girls just a bunch of drama queens (raincoaster)
At least they were free of Yoko in there (Lolebrity)
Reznorvision coming soon to your screens? (AgentBedhead)
The Face of Kotex! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Some people will do ANYTHING to impress Sandra Bullock’s castoffs (CeleBitchy)
Spot the cyborgs among us! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)
Violent repeat felon seeks custodianship of Lindsay Lohan (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Michael Bolton, it is FAR too late for respect! (CelebritySmack)
Gaga a Go-Go (CityRag)
Naomi Campbell’s feet are HUGE (CojoStyle)
Yes, everyone but me DOES have a book deal (DailyStab)
Macaroni Rascals (DListed)
A foursome isn’t just for golfing and bridge? (EvilBeet)
Sly, stylin’ (GabbyBabble)
Brigitte Nielson is looking younger (GoFugYourself)
Get your Bieber Babies! (HaveUHeard)
Michael Bolton is the Rodney Dangerfield of show pony has-beens (INeedMyFix)
Catching up with Bristol Palin’s favorite show (IBBB)
Oh holy Jeebus, even Hilary Duff has a book deal (JustJared)
This will be some actress’s lowest career point (MovieLine)
Baby Buble (PerezHilton)
B from the block (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Backney! (PoorBritney)
The Mysteries of Minnelli (PopBytes)
Jon’s got a Ham in his pants (SeriouslyOMG)

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Hump Day Hunk Links: Eli Roth

MILAN, ITALY - JUNE 19: Eli Roth attend the Dolce & Gabbana '20 Years of Menswear' during Milan Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2011 on June 19, 2010 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)

I’ve held off giving this man his own Hump Day linkage, on the justifiable grounds that anyone dating Peaches Geldof must going through a terribly dark period of his life and deserves a little space, but then I thought, what the hell, maybe a little mild sexual objectification would cheer him up? And a reader sent me this, described at the only bearable 15 seconds of his appearance on Leno:

By the way, our honorary, virtual cocktail for today is the Pink Hound, which is a pink version of the classic Greyhound, ie vodka with pink grapefruit juice and ice, served in a tall glass. My current diet version consists of a tall glass, ice, and pink grapefruit juice diluted with half water. FML.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

The Cosby Family: the resemblance is strong with these ones (Lolebrity)
The hideous, unspeakable truth about purse dogs! (raincoaster)
I can’t pick a side in this bitchfight (AgentBedhead)
Nope, those are not Sandra Bullock’s thighs fraternizing with the enemy (AllieIsWired)
Beckham’s back (BusyBeeBlogger)
Who knew Teri Hatcher was a Klingon? (CeleBitchy)
Paris Hilton’s hairy situation (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Rush Limbaugh’s big fat fourth wedding (CelebritySmack)
Eye spy some bad plastic surgery (CityRag)
Hey Rod Stewart! How’s it hanging? (CojoStyle)
Kim Kardashian, Kougar (DailyStab)
DRad is the perfect man (Gawker)
Eat, Pray, Love Javier Bardem (HaveUHeard)
The world’s worst marriage proposal? (IBBB)
Simon Cowell’s shadow puppet army vs Roger Ebert (PerezHilton)
Uh-oh. Britney goes Gaga! (PoorBritney)
Twitter is toying with Jimmy Kimmel (SeriouslyOMG)

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Jennifer Aniston as Barbra Streisand as Snooki now I need a drink Links

Jennifer Aniston as Barbra Streisand as Snooki

Jennifer Aniston as Barbra Streisand as Snooki

It’s true. Once seen CANNOT BE UNSEEN. Snooki is everywhere, I’m telling you!

Jennifer Anniston as Barbra Streisand as Snooki in leopard

Jennifer Anniston as Barbra Streisand as Snooki in leopard

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

And now, to our winners-and-losers-themed links

raincoaster won a makeover! (raincoaster)
Ned Flanders’ Deaf Metal (Lolebrity)
Shopping Spree Contest! (Shoeblogs)
Fat people win! (ManoloBig)
Who’s that (famous) man? (ManoloMen)
Abandoned cottage makeover (ManoloHome)
Sometimes everybody wins, whether they know it or not (ManoloBrides)
Gwyneth Paltrow finally wins my pity (AgentBedhead)
Spokesmodels Sandra Bullock and Betty White get down and dirty (AllieIsWired)
Britney Spears wins respect??? (AmyGrindhouse)
Scott Disick wins a 28 day vacation! (BricksAndStones)
Joel Madden dishes up a free dinner for the starving (BusyBeeBlogger)
John Goodman wins by losing (CeleBitchy)
Lindsay Lohan wins freedom, is still a loser (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Mad Men casting call contest (CelebritySmack)
Your eyeballs are the big losers here (CojoStyle)
You win some, you lose some (hair) (DailyStab)
The women of the world lose, big-time (DListed)
Jackie O wins at everything (EvilBeet)
The watermelon test (FourFour)
Look who won the box office! (GabbyBabble)
Win Real Housewives swag! (HaveUHeard)
This Details interview is a win for everyone except Tom Cruise (JustJared)
Somebody won the fertility lottery again (PerezHilton)
Torchwood wins, loses, wins, loses, wins, loses… (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Who will Buy Britney for this Blogger! (PoorBritney)
Any day I can post a Prince William story, I’ve won (UKPopSugar)
Tila Tequila drives a Lambo, is still a loser (PopBytes)
This is why Craig Ferguson wins the universe today (SeriouslyOMG)

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Emma Thompson’s Pint of Victory Links!

HOLLYWOOD - AUGUST 06: Actress Emma Thompson at the Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony for Emma Thompson on August 6, 2010 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

In honour of the imperfect, yet impeccable Emma Thompson, seen here toasting her long-overdue Hollywood Walk of Fame star with a pig (not ex-husband Kenneth Branagh) we are returning to our boozy-style links. Today your gossip links are brought to you by a good British pint of what looks like lager, which would be very woman-of-the-people of her.

As for me, I’m on the wagon or rather on the stationary bike until I lose ten pounds and at least one letter of the alphabet.

It’s Nick Jonas’ World (Lolebrity)
World’s LEAST cute octopus found (raincoaster)
Red shoe diaries
(Shoeblogs)
Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Harry Connick Jr vs Idris Elba
(TeenyManolo)
Getting PRIMED for action
(ManoloBig)
Show us your drawers
(ManoloHome)
Soba what?
(ManoloFood)
Lindsay Lohan’s best movie in years
(AgentBedhead)
Renee Zellweger gains 20 lbs (BusyBeeBlogger)
Sean Bean soon to make raincoaster wife #5 (CeleBitchy)
Botox is sacred to Hindus? Who knew? (CelebCosmeticSurgery)
Lady Gaga insists she’s an incestuous ghost (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Emma Watson IS Twiggy (CelebritySmack)
There’s ONE part of Megan Fox that’s still natural (CityRag)
Sylvester Stallone’s rug does not have cherub imagery (CojoStyle)
Sandra Bullock wins! (DailyStab)
The Megan Fox shot the world is not ready to see! (DListed)
It’s Emma Thompson’s world (LaineyGossip)
No, it’s Iman’s world (GoFugYourself)
Jack White does not like hipsters (EvilBeet)
JBieb has gotten to Marky Mark (GabbyBabble)
Jen Garner and Hugh Jackman are like buttah (HaveUHeard)
Sum 40 now (INeedMyFix)
What, the arrow-shaped vajazzling didn’t help? (IBBB)
“Did y’all know that King Tut’s penis is missing?” (MovieLine)
Yoko Ono vs Steve Jobs (PerezHilton)
Britney has a secret (PoorBritney.com)
Britney Spears does not know how to get dressed (SeriouslyOMG)

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