Yes, yes, you’ve still got it. Now let the little girl go.

Jesse James Arrested: Shoot-out at the Long Beach Corral (TrueSlant)

Michelle “Bombshell” McGee gets her feelings hurt (Lolebrity)

Gerard Butler is all wet (TenGossip)

My Fair Lady is fair game (PopBytes)

Kicking Manchester’s ass (UKPopSugar)

Chloe Sevigny IS an ass (INeedMyFix)

The greatest cinematic achievement of all time hits theatres this weekend (Movieline)

Does God talk to bloggers? (IBBB)

Win a date with raincoaster! (raincoaster)

Spoiled Peaches (Gawker)

Jesse James’s numbers are starting to add up (HaveUHeard)

Are you there, God? It’s me, Paris (GoFugYourself)

Xtina is a cyborg! (Dlisted)

Beyonce bears babbeh? (DailyStab)

Could Lindsay design flask lucite platforms? They’d sell a million! (HolyMoly)

Hot volcanic action caught on video! (Towleroad)

Bill Murray, Bartender (TheBlemish)

Celebrity skin won’t STFU (CityRag)

George Bush’s wipeout (CelebritySmack)

Hacker=Twit (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Gwyneth Paltrow is a next-door lover (CeleBitchy)

Brad Pitt in real life gangster drama? (BusyBeeBlogger)

The Hipster Godmother (AgentBedhead)

Sarah Silverman can’t get into a meaty relationship (AmyGrindhouse)

Oh, go on! Hit him!

Team Sandy! Sandra Bullock blindsided by Fate? (True/Slant)

Dirtiest leprechaun joke EV-AR (Lolebrity)

Jesse James apologizes (CelebritySmack)

So porn is good for you now? (PornstarBabylon)

Hobbit is handsy (AgentBedhead)

Ke$ha has actual power? (AmyGrindhouse)

Sandra Bullock is outtahere! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Boy George can verify Lady Gaga is wangless (AllieIsWired)

Well, she IS an actress! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kate Winslet’s marriage RIP (LaughingStork)

Alec Baldwin is in fine form (CeleBitchy)

Winnie Cooper is knocked up (DailyStab)

Get sexy texts from Tiger! (Gawker)

Twilightweight! (DListed)

RIP Fess Parker (EOnline)

Corey blogs Corey (EvilBeet)

Miley Cyrus pulls a Cher (GabbyBabble)

Meanwhile, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning are still together (HaveUHeard)

Sandra Bullock put a ring on it, and it’s staying (INeedMyFix)

Paging Jerry Springer! (IBBB)

Reese Witherspoon stars as…a blogger??? (JustJared)

Heidi Ho! (LitelySalted)

But she’ll always have Gene Kelly (Movieline)

Robert Pattinson will always have London (UKPopSugar)

Flashforward Back! (SeriouslyOMG)

Kellan Lutz has a trick! (TenGossip)

At last we learn the backstory to the shot herd ’round the world. Oh Snoop, we’ve all been there.

Claire Danes knows how to work a trenchcoat (Lolebrity)

Celebrities! They’re not like us! They can walk in these shoes! (CelebToast)

The best 404 message online (AgentBedhead)

Om Nom Nom WHA???? (AllieIsWired)

Brittany Murphy, Casey Johnson, Basic Health Rules laid to rest (AmyGrindhouse)

Demon in sheep’s clothing (BWE)

Anne Hathaway flips the bird (BricksAndStones)

Alexis for Alexis! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ooh La Little Girl Lingerie? (LaughingStork)

Kate, I think you dropped something (HolyMoly)

Sandra Bullock will cut a bitch (LitelySalted)

Forget Mischa Barton, try Carole Channing! (LaineyGossip)

Kristen Stewart in court for prostitution (TMZ)

Ralph Lauren snubs in public! (CelebrityMound)

Ellen for President? (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Tom Brady’s 2-month-old can run??? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Oooh, ACDC MUST DIE!!!! (CeleBitchy)

Jay-Qui? (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Possibly the most terrifying headline I’ve ever read (CelebritySmack)

Kanye survives horrifying ordeal (CelebSlam)

Bublé‘s bongo bowl (CityRag)

Dennis Quaid’s farmer’s tan (CrazyDaysAndNights)

The Real BabyMamas of Atlanta (Crunk+Disorderly)

Brangelina lives! (DailyStab)

Paris has gone to the dogs (DanasDirt)

Nicknames of the literati (Gawker)

The return of PuppyBowl (DListed)

Betty White is terrifying (EvilBeet)

Small Wonder it was cancelled (FourFour)

Janet Jackson is a Janet Jackson impersonator (GabbyBabble)

Best Dressed/Worst Dressed at the Grammys (GoFugYourself)

Snooki’s makeover (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Qween no longer on Scene (INeedMyFix)

How Hugh Jackman rolls (HaveUHeard)

World’s most expensive benchwarmers (HollywoodBackwash)

Flack pointedly does NOT deny Paris Hilton is dumb (HollywoodRag)

Sniff Beyonce for $50 (HollywoodTuna)

KFat achieves self-awareness (ImNotObsessed)

Leif Garrett busted NOT A FLASHBACK TO 1975 (Janet CharltonsHollywood)

Virgins versus Texting! (JustJared)

PETA vs Avatar (Movieline)

Jessica Biel definitely not Jewish (FitCeleb)

Frances Bean taking singing lessons (PerezHilton)

Stock Anderson Cooper Adorable Story (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Russell Brand shoots, scores (UKPopSugar)

Jamaican Bobsled Team not so cool (WizBangPop)

Orlando Bloom is all wet (PopBytes)

Kelly Clarkson in flamewar (RadarOnline)

Re-Enchanted (SeriouslyOMG)

Tila says the butler didn’t do it (ASocialiteLife)

Conan O’Brien’s Valentine to Britney (SquareEyes)

Saffy, darling, are you slumming in this movie? (TenGossip)

John Mayer needs to take off the Wayfarers (TheBosh)

Mischa Barton wins Best Supporting Hose (TheSkinny)

Ah, after all these years, what has not already been said about the protean talents of hottie and character actor Colin Farrell? Remember the time LiLo gave him her phone number in the gym? And he asked her how old she was? And she said seventeen? And he handed the card back and said call me in a year? and she did? And the rest is (medical) history?

He didn’t look like this back then:

Yes, it’s Colin “hottest fry cook in the chip wagon” Farrell, the pride of Dublin. Actually, given how drastically Lindsay’s gone downhill in the last year, he’s probably out of her league now, however much he might try to tone down teh sex-ay.

And believe me, he’s trying.

So Colin, what do you think of Bruges? (NSFW language, unless you work as a blogger, in which case at least be sure the people in the cafe can’t hear this)

Sure, blondes have more fun, but does she LOOK like a girl who likes to have fun? (AgentBedhead)

There IS justice in the world (AmyGrindhouse)

Kendra Wilkinson a FAR better actress than anyone suspected (BusyBeeBlogger)

If nomenclature and PR couldn’t keep these guys together, what hope IS there? (CelebritySmack)

Topless hunks in headless story (PopSugar)

Vampires: they’re JUST like us! (Lainey)

Van spawns MINI-Van (DListed)

Buh-BYE, Ty-Ty! (DailyStab)

PETA’s pet peeves (CeleBitchy)

MUST-see tv (Gawker)

Brit is BROWN! (EvilBeet)

Lindsay’s found her CALLING (HolyCandy)

Rapist sues over label; still fine with DOUCHE tho (LitelySalted)

Homeless couple spotted with ADORABLE children (GabbyBabble)

MALFOY in MIAMI! (INO)

Charlie Sheen’s Christmas CARDED (JustJared)

The AVATAR Holiday Special! (Movieline)

Mariah CARRY! (SeriouslyOMG)

Beckham’s BACK! (PopBytes)

Merry Christmas!

Ava Jackman demonstrates that the ability to upstage one’s costars is genetic.

Katy Perry shows that Santa really IS coming (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe’s bum career (AgentBedhead)

Tiger is hiding his wood in several different club bags (AmyGrindhouse)

Bridget dumps Bernie, moves on to Bernice (BWE)

Dave Navarro OWNS the celebrity blogosphere (BBB)

Sarah Jessica Parker hiring nannies from sweatshops? (CeleBitchy)

George Michael OWNS celebrity Christmas music (PopBytes)

Mickey Rourke takes another prize (HolyMoly)

Oh noes! JT has a mini-fro! (LitelySalted)

Kingston Rossdale has a fauxhawk (CelebritySmack)

The gayest video of all time? (Crunk+Disorderly)

Marilyn Monroe and Maryjane (DailyStab)

The Hills, the comic book (Gawker)

Goth Skater Cocktail Chic (GoFugYourself)

Whitney Houston LOVES awards (FourFour)

Happy Birthday Britney (GabbyBabble)

John Mayer really cares about our Golden Couple (EvilBeet)

Susan Boyle is unstoppable (DListed)

Mischa Barton, soon to appear on Oprah (INO)

Jessica Simpson, Not Working (Justjared)

Sandra Bullock plays quarterback (Movieline)

Help John Mellencamp quit smoking (SeriouslyOMG)

Rebecca Gayheart (whom I have to stop confusing with Portia de Rossi now, don’t I, or Ellen will be mad) knows how to handle reputation management:

1. attend baby showers where you will sit beside pretty, famous friends who are still somewhat heavier than you because they’re, you know, pregnant.
2. be photographed smiling broadly leaving said baby showers
3. fashionable heels and this year’s bag at all times
4. enormous shades just in case of tragic mascara overspill
5. be sure to sport an oversized version of the nightie you brought for the new baby. It’s just good manners.

Kate Walsh, however, chose the onesie: