Ayyyy!

You have become my Great-Aunt Marge, heading off to Sexty+ Singles Bingo Night.

It was just one of those days. One of those Double Jack Daniels Manhattan days. Actually, it was one of those TWO Double Jack Daniels Manhattan days.

Moving on…

Another reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow (HolyMoly)

Lady Gaga NSFAustralia (AmyGrindhouse)

Lindsay Lohan drunk-dials US (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octovision! (AgentBedhead)

Bono goes fishing (PopBytes)

Honestly, who brings their own drugs to a jail visit? (CelebritySmack)

Pink’s washboard (TheBlemish)

Jessica Simpson soon to appear at an unemployment office near you (CeleBitchy)

Nerdcore man-candy at Star Trek promo (EvilBeet)

Eminem shares the Spock luv (Jezebel)

DRod gets deep sixed (DailyStab)

Rapunzel Man (DListed)

The Beatles are back! (GabbyBabble)

Harriet Carter Wednesday (IBBB)

Sienna Miller’s chest sponsored by Burger King and Spongebob Squarepants? (INO)

Madonna adopts Italy (UKPopSugar)

Lilo unrestrained! (POTP)

Twitter owns Ashlee Simpson’s baby pix (JustJared)

Head Start for Celebrity Babies (SeriouslyOMG)

Hugh Jackman drops in (ASL)

JLoHew’s escort faux pas (TENGossip)

Make mine a double. I need the caffeine to counter the No-Name Cold And Flu Extra Super Megatron Strength tabs I picked up off that guy in the alley.

Slumdog Millionaire or Future Nike Factory Worker? (TheBlemish)

Beverly Hills Millionaire or future therapy patient? (AllieIsWired)

at least he can still fly (AmyGrindhouse)

Does Rihanna have an undiagnosed head injury? (WizbangPop)

Times are tough for everyone as U2 does an honest day’s work (YouTube)

As does Debra Messing (GoFugYourself)

Will Joke For Food (ASL)

The Butterscotch Stallion puts the feedbag on (Websters)

Social media at its most anti-social (IBBB)

Duffy’s duff (SeriouslyOMG)

Lindsay and Lily: when drama queens collide! (UKPopSugar)

Duchess of York, Countess of Cavalli (Grazia)

Happy belated birthday, Jensen Ackles (TenGossip)

The Britney Spears circus is a tease (ImNotObsessed)

Like, dating is hard (EvilBeet)

Bruce Springsteen vs the Evil Empire (GabbyBabble)

Snoophammad? (HolyMoly)

The return of the Wino (PopBytes)

First Lady not second best (POTP)

Lindsay Lohan plans ahead (DailyStab)

and it takes a LOT to mortify Kanye (CelebuWreck)

Freebies aren’t good enough for Octomom (CelebritySmack)

Scarjo rocks the purple turban? (AgentBedhead)

Jonas Brothers go topless (Towleroad)

All actresses who could make men go weak in the knees, but only of us is clad entirely in kryptonite. Can you tell which one, dear readers?

I don’t know what it was, but it was white, it was fizzy, and it was free, so who am I to look a gift plonk in the mouth? That’s what I get for not buying my own drinks!

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Ricardo Montalban vs Gregory Peck (TeenyManolo)

Mad-Eye Mills is Moody (AgentBedhead)

Hey! Jordana Brewster is back! (AmyGrindhouse)

Bluebeard sadly looking his age (CelebuWreck)

but maybe these people can still use him? (CelebritySmack)

Suzanne Somers is a pillhead (CeleBitchy)

Scarjo has some questions for God (DailyStab)

PuppyBowl! (Defamer)

Alan Cumming on the President (DListed)

Daniel Radcliffe on the President (UKPopSugar)

Starting your own daycare: yor doin it rong (EvilBeet)

an fyenansin it rong (CandyKirby)

Ines owns (HollywoodBackwash)

That’s why they call her Gaga (GoFugYourself)

John Mayer has a new squeeze now (JustJared)

Russell Crowe, hawt Eighties preacher (SeriouslyOMG)

Ali Lohan is fifteen going on forty (Websters)

Donate your used cellphones and cameras to a good cause (FearlessCity)

ScarJo’s snot ’spensive! (AgentBedhead)

Kate Beckinsale picks up the mantle of Eartha Kitt (AmyGrindhouse)

KFed sure can pick ‘em! (CelebWarship)

The 12 Blogs of the Lohan Family (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Santa brought Prince William a beard for Christmas (CeleBitchy)

Winehouse in St.Lucia, not in rehab (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Simpson has hope! (DailyStab)

The Flack Awards (Defamer)

Blogs are dead! (DListed)

War of the Bootsies! (EvilBeet)

Lance Armstrong to be babydaddy (CandyKirby)

Orlando Bloom is a biker for God (JustJared)

Late Christmas present (UKPopSugar)

and another pressie (SeriouslyOMG)

One more reason to hate Paris Hilton (Websters)

The Renaissance of Georgette Mosbacher (WOWReport)

I don’t even like icewine, which is weird because I am normally all about the dessert wines and so I am somehow vaguely unpatriotic for not liking Canada’s national dessert wine, but perhaps it has something to do with the bottle that had been open two years and stored next to the pickles and olives in the fridge which was my first taste of icewine.

Yeah. That’s it.

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Santa Dads (TeenyManolo)

Katie Holmes gets the makeover of her life! (Websters)

Because she really needs it (SeriouslyOMG)

Tony Parker thinks he has in vitro telekinesis (ASL)

Britney’s triumph of hope over experience (WizbangPop)

Partygoers must be on Pixie dust (UKPopSugar)

Pamela Anderson is the new house model at Vivienne Westwood (ElleUK)

Greatest gifts of all time, anywhere (CandyKirby)

Is this Mary-Kate? Or Ashley? (IBBB)

Happy 28th to Christina Drooguliera (Defamer)

Zac Efron at Children’s Hospital (JustJared)

Rihanna brings the bootaloons (GoFugYourself)

Bono is a Freudian (GabbyBabble)

William H Macy’s mercury levels well within safety limits (EvilBeet)

Pete Doherty’s arm assploded! (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld gets the funk up (FakeKarl)

Lily Allen is in the wrong line of work (DListed)

Smells like Beef Spirit? (DailyStab)

Click for a Cause (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton, burgled again (CeleBitchy)

Is ScarJo the new Jennifer Aniston? (AmyGrindhouse)

Buy a $1 beer and fight $cientology (AgentBedhead)

Let’s just say it’s been one of those days. Actually, it’s been two of those da- make that “one of those weeks.” And it’s still only Thursday morning!

Vote for me! (ShortyAwards)

Nine Inch Noels (AgentBedhead)

Obama Bogarts (CeleBitchy)

Eddie Murphy gives Batman the kiss of death (CelebritySmack)

Jeremy Piven leaves Broadway for career as thermometer (DailyStab)

YOU don’t know how much Will Smith gave to Scientology. I DO!!!! (Defamer)

ScarJo donates bodily excretions instead (DListed)

What happened to Jenny McCarthy? (HolyMoly)

Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway team up to induce diabetes (ImNotObsessed)

Separated at Birth, the Royal Edition (ASL)

Yes, Men, No, Zooey (EvilBeet)

Jennifer Aniston thrilled about upcoming Cougar Birthday (GabbyBabble)

The Invasion of Chynna (CandyKirby)

Suri is riding dirty (IBBB)

Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite holiday recipes (JustJared)

Ben @ tha UN (PopSugar)