The dress may have been hastily improvised from some sturdy garbage bags, but don’t you think it makes Sharon look sufficiently regal for any passing aliens to whisk her away on their spaceship and declare her as queen of their race?

I have very little idea how these high-end charity benefits are supposed to work, but shouldn’t they only be putting goods on display that are actually going to be auctioned off?

Really, is this what Hollywood has been reduced to? Have things really hit rock bottom? Is the situation so desperately dire that celebrities have been forced to cut back on their entourage of assistants and handle their own clothes?

Oh no, they didn’t tell me there would be such powerful camera flashes!  I wouldn’t have worn ANY underwear at all if I had known!

All happy to pose for a group photo but can you tell which one of us is scaring the others into a protective huddle with her usual unhinged ways? If you’re still stumped here’s another clue.

Here’s another creature of the night, the kind you find skulking about deserted basements and garages at an ungodly hour. Don’t mind the leggings for now, they’ll eventually grow over with fur during the winter months.

Heather Locklear reminds me of something… (Lolebrity)

Sharon Stone wants her kid to have Botox (CelebWarship)

Spike Lee: Why Tonto Should Be a Brother (CandyKirby)

Playing the straight man to Pete Doherty’s Abbott AND Costello (AgentBedhead)

Bret Michaels’ wig is a blogger, too (CelebritySmack)

Kelly Osbourne owes her sex education to Black Sabbath (DailyStab)

Anne Hathaway does not talk nasty (CeleBitchy)

Where Beyonce’s old wigs go to die (Crunk&Disorderly)

God-hating Bill Maher vs Flat Earther Sherri Shepherd (Defamer)

The girl who was JT LeRoy (Gawker)

Mischa Barton works the “Gilbert Grape” look (GoFugYourself)

Helena Bonham Carter’s steampunk shoes (DListed)

Dave Grohl identifies with his attackers (GabbyBabble)

The Wire, with special guest Samuel Beckett (EvilBeet)

Vivienne Westwood’s Parisian catwalk pix (HollywoodRag)

Naomi Watts just won the birthday present stakes (PopSugar)

The Hills monumental recap (IBBB)

Chace Crawford needs to overcome gayface (Mollygood)

Sarah Michelle Gellar and a dolphin unicorn chaser (Websters)

Britney Spears or Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bad wig? YOU DECIDE! (Lolebrity)

Job posting of the year: Courtney Love needs someone to document, then clean up after, the craziness (AgentBedhead)

Sam Ronson hates lesbians? (CelebritySmack)

Pete Doherty goes all John Cusack (HolyMoly)

Tori Spelling, Donna Martin, and The Secret (IBBB)

Porn stars: twice as fertile! (DailyStab)

ZOMG stop the presses: Clay Aiken is GAY???? (Defamer)

ZOMG stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan is GAY???? (Defamer)

Gold for gossip (Gawker)

Lisa Rinna is cougarrific! (GoFugYourself)

Clay Aiken is a Sarah Palin impersonator! (CandyKirby)

Gwyneth Paltrow has forgotten more than you’ll ever know about web design, mortals! (CeleBitchy)

Sharon Stone: you win a few, you lose a few. Too bad they’re your children (DListed)

Chris Rock schools Bill Clinton (Mollygood)

Dita von Teese debuts her teasers (UKPopSugar)

33 worst celebrity baby names (Babble)