Ayyyy!

“Juliet? You’re breaking up…look, why don’t we just meet at the churchyard? You bring the eyeliner and candles, I’ll bring some Evanescence CDs.”

He Pingping was a small wonder (True/Slant)

Bogie prepares to par-tay! (Lolebrity)

Iggy goes off-script (AgentBedhead)

The Betty and Veronica of male has-beens continue their respective roles (AmyGrindhouse)

Russell Brand can’t even walk barefoot correctly (BusyBeeBlogger)

Britney’s on the loose! (CeleBitchy)

Irish sayings for St. Patrick’s Day (CelebritySmack)

American Idol is killer (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Michael Lohan has a heart??? (DailyStab)

Kim Cattrall, Cat woman (INeedMyFix)

Kirstie Alley is cheap and irreligious! (HaveUHeard)

Shia Labeouf  should have gotten a hook! (GabbyBabble)

Have you seen Kate Winslet’s bum? (EvilBeet)

Betty White is a goddess! (IBBB)

Justin Biehber is a Twit! (LitelySalted)

Coco is a dictator! (Movieline)

Ben Stiller is a victim! (SeriouslyOMG)

Supernatural is covered! (TenGossip)

Yes, herbal tea. We’re way holistic around these parts, yo. Especially when we’re hung over.

Time for the Libertines (AgentBedhead)

Christian Bale’s Terminal hotness (AmyGrindhouse)

Hugh Jackman dials down the testosterone (BusyBeeBlogger)

Michael Jackson’s kids surprisingly normal-looking (GlamBabyBumps)

Let’s speak Frankly (BWE)

Emma Watson, princess? (CeleBitchy)

Michael Jackson has skin cancer (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kathleen Turner, you’ve changed (CelebuWreck)

Katie Price pimps out pix (HolyMoly)

The Ricky Martin of Greece wins Eurovision (DListed)

Shia’s greatest roll? (EvilBeet)

Patriotic partying with the Hoff (GabbyBabble)

Uncle Karl’s walk in the park (FakeKarlLagerfeld)

More Mariah (PopBytes)

New Viggo! (UKPopSugar)

CHiPs 2.0 (INO)

John Mayer survives brutal attack (SeriouslyOMG)

Giving every middle-aged sex fiend false hope (AgentBedhead)

Britney’s first choice busted! (Celebitchy)

In the UK t hey do celeb wrapping paper, here, we have celeb condomwrapping. (CelebritySlam)

Full House fully in revival (DailyStab)

 It’s the end of the world as we know it (Defamer)

TomKat poses well (EvilBeet)

Barack + Barbara = Love (GabbyBabble)

 Twilight fashion crimes (GoFugYourself)

Full House to be refilled (CandyKirby)

 Lilo’s Fun with MySpace (IBBB)

Shia on a skateboard (JustJared)

Maddox makes your baby feel inadequate (PopSugar)

Madonna, photographed by Jules Verne (Websters)

 The Puppycam Diaspora (Gawker)

Shia LaBruised recovers from cougar attack (Defamer)

Golden Girl, you are not so Golden (BusyBee)

The first rule of Aloe Vera Club is… (AgentBedhead)

The Hoff is an EMPEROR! (CeleBitchy)

Kelly Osbourne has a black eye (CelebritySmack)

Your Daily Kiefer (DailyStab)(Sigh)

Tequila: Lost, but not forgotten (Defamer)

How can we be lovers if we can’t be Nicolette Sheridan Friends (DListed)

Britney spends time with her tots (GabbyBabble)

Top 10 Beauties (CandyKirby)

Ben Affleck is outward bound (PopSugar)

The political also-ran catfight. What the hell: there isn’t anything else on. (CNN)

Prince Harry sez: *^&$ primogeniture! (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe farts PURE LIGHT (AgentBedhead)

Strokes? (BusyBeeBlog)

Britney Spears is so over men (CelebrityDirt)

Sienna Miller’s neighbors support truth in advertising (CelebritySmack)

Hunk @ Large! Tom Arnold is single again! (BittenAndBound)

Behold the power of the Pivert! (CandyKirby)

Celebrity sperm that succeeds! (IBBB)

The Stefani/Rossdale Popstar Eugenics Program presents Gen 2.0! (ImNotObsessed)

Shia Shirtless (JustJared)

This girl has a great future being “professionally friendly” to geeks (GoFugYourself)

Verne Troyer, chick magnet: just call him Mister Tripod! (Websters)

Jack Osbourne goes to prison! (SeriouslyOMG)

David Blaine to be hanged! (Mollygood)

Obama’s is bigger than McCain’s? (Radar)

This is old, but dayum Princes William and Harry are teh hawt! (UKPopsugar)

Lucky lady rear-ended by George Clooney (Defamer)

Brits in America (Gawker)

Good news, reports are saying that Shia LaBeouf’s hand is on the slow but steady road to recovery.   Not that you even noticed his injured hand, given that he’s chosen to undertake the healing process without his shirt on. And if not for that pesky belt, possibly without his pants too. Now, who wants to help him undo his water bottle?

Owen Wilson: the Butterscotch Stallion rides again! (lolebrity)

Couture Catfight: Anna Wintour vs Jenny from the Block (Gawker)

Faster, Britney, Kill, Kill! (AgentBedhead)

Morgan Freeman is back on the market (CeleBitchy)

Cindy Crawford is still flawless, now topless (SeriouslyOMG)

Tori Spelling is a Cher impersonator (IBBB)

Jennifer Aniston’s biological alarm just went off (Websters)

Be all that you can be: a fembot (SuperfantasticPlastic)

Jenna Jameson’s babymaker still works! (CandyKirby)

Keanu Reeves gets to keep a secret from you (JustJared)

Karl Lagerfeld shows off the grandkid (FakeKarl)

Josh Holloway is a Pebbles Flintstone impersonator (SocialiteLife)

Howard Stern drives his sidekick to drink (DailyStab)

Shia’s appendage may be cut (CelebritySmack)

Bus Rage: so much for a perfect record (WOWReport)

Words I never thought I’d type: Paris Hilton for President (Mollygood)

Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro to re-ignite your movie screens (UKPopsugar)

Little Black BCC: Hollywood Madame Follies (Defamer)

L is for LolXena Looking down your shirt (Lolebrity)

V for Vitamins Aren’t Working, Tom (AgentBedhead)

H is for Hospital, which is for Amy Winehouse, stat (CelebritySmack)

B is for … Miley Cyrus! (DailyStab)

L is for Lindsay Lohan (DanasDirt)

D is for DUI for Shia Laboeuf (Defamer)

P is for mystery Passenger (ImNotObsessed)

F is for Maggie Gyllenhaal, Fashion Victim (EvilBeet)

S is for Sternum I’d rather not see (GoFugYourself)

H is for Hungry, and someone get Naomi Campbell a sammich! (CandyKirby)

R is for Roots, proof Marissa Miller isn’t perfect (IBBB)

B is for Bald John Mayer (JustJared)

J is for Jawbone of an ass (Websters)

M is for Manlove for Bob Saget (SeriouslyOMG)

B is for Bilson Bedhead (PopSugar)

F is for French Letters to Miley (Mollygood)

A is for Animals Attacking Celebrities (Gawker)

S is for Shark who can’t seem to swallow (CeleBitchy)

J is for Joker, and also Juvie (DListed)