Julianne Moore Toes Noes

The drag queens call this “serving shrimp,” but whatever you call it, it’s quite clear from this photo of the red carpet at Cannes that Julianne Moore Cannes stand a great deal of pain.

Croc vs Alligator

It has begun! At last, a war with no moral ambiguity whatsoever!

Oh No, Oprah!

Honey, This I Know For Sure: it ain’t the clothes that’s the problem here.

Pavel Petel Boot Spats Stylin Russian Style

Here we see Comrade Found Porn Object Pavel Petel posing in pretend boots. Nothing, NOTHING says 21st Century stylish like Boot Spats!

Should you care to peruse Comrade Petel’s extremely NSFW Tumblr, it’s here, and you can thank DListed for the pleasure. PS I never thought they were supposed to go around the “Christmas ornaments” as well.

Apparently Dear Richard has taken to wearing fancy dress around LA in a successful effort to garner paparazzi photos. The poor man. Well, it’s a Kardashian world; can you blame this formerly-dignified figure for pandering, slightly? We honoured him with our best captions, and now it’s time to announce the winner.

Richard Simmons has had a makeover

Pete Howorth August 10, 2012 at 8:39 am #

My mother, ready for a night at the bingo.

Supercongrats to first-time winner Pete! What imaginary swag shall we hypothetically present to our virtual champion? There can be only one (choice).Authentic KISS Destroyer Boots!!

Shoe Out

Fashion blogger Kate Schneider says she gets most of her fashion finds on sale. She neglected to specify how many of the other she got out of the back of Mummy’s closet.

If the shoe fits (and it’s nice) wear it. If it doesn’t, I hope you saved enough in the sale to pay for the broken neck you’re courting.

Every fashion blogger gets to use that headline once in her life.

FACT.

This post is sponsored by the fact that I’m down to my last pair of Asics and my sister just bought the Louboutin Forever Tinas and Anemones. Oh. Fine. SEE if I care. I’m SO OVER IT ALL!

No, it’s fine. I like my rubber boots. It’s totally fine.

You Are a Colorful and Vivacious Shoe

In life, you rather play than work. You’re apt to quit any task that doesn’t nourish your creativity and inner child. You are happiest in the comfort of your own home. You know how to make things nice for yourself.You are always interested in how and why things work. You are naturally curious. You love change and are able to adapt to any situation. You don’t have the typical fear of the unknown.

I’d like to be the Giuseppe Zanotti fishbone sandals in this video, even though they were only $775 when they came out:

Eva Green vampira

God, I love Eva Green; she frightens me, and it takes a LOTTA fierce to do that. I’m posting this picture for several reasons, even though the makeup is uneven, and black eyeliner forgives nothing:

• car wash skirts 4 eva! If you have the knees for them, very few things look as good.
• minimal, make that no jewelry; it takes confidence to pull that off in the Age of Bling, but if the dress is remarkable enough, it doesn’t need sparklies.
• those shoes. Those SHOES!

I own those shoes. Thank you, Eva Green, for giving me reason to feel fabulous, if only by proxy.

In a similar vein, but a slight variation, these Dolce & Gabbana pumps: