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The Ice Queen, Frosted

Sienna Miller, Ice Queen

Sienna Miller, Ice Queen

Sienna Miller. What to do with Sienna Miller? Well, it’s not like Hollywood is waiting for me to answer the question, but if they were, I would like to think I’d come up with a better answer than this dress. Let’s break it down.

Sienna Miller is beautiful beyond the lot of mortals, and it looks to be natural. Good for her. She also has exactly the body type that looks great in designer clothes, and isn’t afraid to put the work in to make sure she stays that way and makes an impression on the red carpet.

So why, in the name of Duncan Hines, is she wearing what appears to be a thickly-spread layer of buttercream frosting on her tits?

Slam Punk

So apparently the Met is throwing punk parties nowadays; well, I guess someone had to, what with CBGBs closed and the Mudd Club closed and Max’s Kansas City closed and…everything closed, and half the people dead. So they threw a party called “PUNK: Chaos to Couture,” invited the Living Dead, the Social Skeletons, and the mummified dowagers and their walkers to a gala and…

Sienna Miller was the best-dressed woman there?

Sienna Miller at the Met Gala

Sienna Miller at the Met Gala

I know, I know, I’m losing my edge: first Katy Perry, now Sienna Miller. Both women I love to loathe, and both hit it out of the park in terms of the right fashion at the right time and place. It’s not easy to do glam punk, but Miller does it here with a jacket and headpiece worth more than Jonny Rotten ever spent on heroin in his entire life. But she still doesn’t look like she’s in costume; she looks like she could wear that with ripped jeans in a squat and be as relaxed and at home as Gwyneth Paltrow pretends to be when surrounded by food.

But that’s costume, gala punk. The Little Fashion Troll, he is the real thing.

Galliano is gloriously insane

Galliano is gloriously insane

And can someone tell me why, out of that entire fringey shorts over the camo shorts with the Pucci scarf with the prepster vest with the Derelicte jacket I am focused entirely on the feet and wondering where (and why) he ever got camel-toed British military socks? Do the Japanese do a lot of deer stalking in the Highlands or something? If they do, trust John Galliano to sneak up and snag their look when they’re not looking.

Top That!

Want:

Marie Antoinette Hoodie. Decapitate! It's great!

The Marie Antoinette Hoodie. Decapitate! It's great!

I NEED this in time for Bastille Day! Let’s toast to this excellent Threadless design with a glass of fine Armagnac diluted with just a splash of the late queen’s favorite tipple, Evian water. I can’t drink Evian straight; as Janis Joplin said, No water in my whiskey, man. It hurts my throat.

And now, your Friday gossip link roundup:

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Shadow of a Superstar (Ayyyy)
Katherine Heigl gets the new Colonic Facial (CelebrityBeehive)
Herman. Pee-Wee Herman. (Lolebrity)
Fresh, free-range Hamm (Gawker)
War Dog of the Week (Warning: sappy) (ForeignPolicy)
That’s no lady! (AgentBedhead)
Two minutes and thirty-nine seconds with James Franco (AmyGrindhouse)
Dolph Lundgren is just asking for it (BusyBeeBlogger)
Dora the Explorer on the rocks (CeleBitchy)
Lindsay Lohan is not such a twit anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Kim Kardashian’s snack tray holds a drink (CelebritySmack)
Britney weaned the kids off Cosmos (CityRag)
Cojo vs Ronald McDonald (CojoStyle)
Amy Winehouse crashes a lap (CrazyDaysAndNights)
Wino has “something” up her nose (INeedMyFix)
I SAID, Pull up yo damn pants! (Crunk&Disorderly)
Awww, I bet on Aeschylus (DailyStab)
Sienna Miller loves dressing up in Grandma’s outfits (DListed)
Is Renee Zellweger Bridget Jones or Jennifer Aniston? (EvilBeet)
Gooooood morning, Republicans! (HaveUHeard)
Snooki is a lobster racist! (IBBB)
80’s cartoon trivia quiz (LitelySalted)
Grover stars in new Old Spice campaign (MovieLine)
Amy Winehouse’s Taxi Driver (PerezHilton)
Weird celebrity fetish news (SeriouslyOMG)
Creepy celebrity dolls (ASL)

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Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law: neck and neck!

Sherlock Holmes - World Premiere Inside Arrivals

Busted! Robert Downey Jr playfully outs Jude Law’s clever hickey-hiding strategy. How is Sienna these days, anyway?

Odd one out

This movie will kill our careers

All (strangely enough) happy to be associated with the release of GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra, but can you tell which one of us ultimately bested the said cobra and turned it into a crotch hugging suit for the heck of it?

Double JD Manhattan Links

It was just one of those days. One of those Double Jack Daniels Manhattan days. Actually, it was one of those TWO Double Jack Daniels Manhattan days.

Moving on…

Another reason to hate Gwyneth Paltrow (HolyMoly)

Lady Gaga NSFAustralia (AmyGrindhouse)

Lindsay Lohan drunk-dials US (BusyBeeBlogger)

Octovision! (AgentBedhead)

Bono goes fishing (PopBytes)

Honestly, who brings their own drugs to a jail visit? (CelebritySmack)

Pink’s washboard (TheBlemish)

Jessica Simpson soon to appear at an unemployment office near you (CeleBitchy)

Nerdcore man-candy at Star Trek promo (EvilBeet)

Eminem shares the Spock luv (Jezebel)

DRod gets deep sixed (DailyStab)

Rapunzel Man (DListed)

The Beatles are back! (GabbyBabble)

Harriet Carter Wednesday (IBBB)

Sienna Miller’s chest sponsored by Burger King and Spongebob Squarepants? (INO)

Madonna adopts Italy (UKPopSugar)

Lilo unrestrained! (POTP)

Twitter owns Ashlee Simpson’s baby pix (JustJared)

Head Start for Celebrity Babies (SeriouslyOMG)

Hugh Jackman drops in (ASL)

JLoHew’s escort faux pas (TENGossip)

Odd one out

Stop talking to my groin!

All actresses with enviable decolletages, but one of us seems to have nipples that have gravitated too far south.  Can you tell which one, dear readers?

Midnight Cocktail Links

You need something nourishing if you’re going to pull an all-nighter, and the midnight cocktail has nutritious Stout, full of sustaining carbs!

Michael Jackson “his” Blanket (YBF)

Bai Ling and Mickey Rourke, king and queen of Hell Prom Night (Websters)

Dame Edna for MAC cosmetics, NO REALLY (WOWReport)

Paula Abdul changes it up (CityRag)

Oprah was a bad girl? Are you on crack? (CeleBitchy)

How to make it onto American Idol in 20 easy steps (BWE)

Is this the next Ambassador to the Court of St. James? (FakeKarl)

The Hudson River Miracle (Gawker)

The Hero of the Hudson (EvilBeet)

Christmas lives forever in the heart of Taylor Momsen (JustJared)

Jade Goody has never looked better (HollywoodTuna)

The BAFTAS don’t care about British people! (Defamer)

Katie Holmes is on fiyah! (CandyKirby)

Sienna Miller shops from someone else’s cart (Lainey)

Britney’s Fantasy Island discovered, mapped (GOTA)

Patrick Swayze is ON! (SeriouslyOMG)

Stars as Big Girls (PopBytes)

Pink never drops them, she just recycles them (POTP)

Lily Allen is VERY close to her brother (BFYL)

Travesty Alert: Karate Kid remake (IBBB)

The hottest accessory in Hollywood (CelebritySmack)

Karl does not care about your demode recession woes (HolyMoly)

Fake Chanel, real useful (Cvxn)

Anne Hathaway has found her new liar (AmyGrindhouse)

Verne Troyer on the rampage! (TheLondonBlog)

How to start a cult (AgentBedhead)

The Happy Birthday Kate Moss quiz (UKPopSugar)

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