Pete Doherty can’t meet his deadlines because… he’s Pete Doherty! (AgentBedhead)

Sarah Palin busted via Myspace (Civixen)

Vanilla Ice shelf still calving (CelebritySmack)

Natalie Portman in Venice (DailyStab)

The Josh Harnett Um Deeply Interpersonal Tape (Defamer)

Lilo speaks on BritPal (MySpace)

Attack of the MIILFia! (CandyKirby)

Jacko and Pamela Anderson dating? (ImNotObsessed)

Anonymous storm Katie Holmes’ performance September 3rd (JustJared)

Poster children for infidelity kinda grumpy (PopSugar)

Vogue India…where the ridiculous meets the sublime (Mollygood)

Donnie Davies: the return! Take My Hand! (YouTube)

Xtina, before and after (Websters)

Sarah Palin is not flat busted (PerezHilton)

Sarah Palin a fitting heir to GWB (Gawker)

The Pivert is a Diva (Celebitchy)

Prince Harry sez: *^&$ primogeniture! (Lolebrity)

Daniel Radcliffe farts PURE LIGHT (AgentBedhead)

Strokes? (BusyBeeBlog)

Britney Spears is so over men (CelebrityDirt)

Sienna Miller’s neighbors support truth in advertising (CelebritySmack)

Hunk @ Large! Tom Arnold is single again! (BittenAndBound)

Behold the power of the Pivert! (CandyKirby)

Celebrity sperm that succeeds! (IBBB)

The Stefani/Rossdale Popstar Eugenics Program presents Gen 2.0! (ImNotObsessed)

Shia Shirtless (JustJared)

This girl has a great future being “professionally friendly” to geeks (GoFugYourself)

Verne Troyer, chick magnet: just call him Mister Tripod! (Websters)

Jack Osbourne goes to prison! (SeriouslyOMG)

David Blaine to be hanged! (Mollygood)

Obama’s is bigger than McCain’s? (Radar)

This is old, but dayum Princes William and Harry are teh hawt! (UKPopsugar)

Lucky lady rear-ended by George Clooney (Defamer)

Brits in America (Gawker)

But officer, I didn’t even know he was married with kids.  We just shared a friendly kiss, that’s all! And I kept my clothes on the entire time! Really! Why should I take all the blame, anyway?  He’s the one you should be after, not me!

That’s what they all say Ma’am.  Now step out of the car, please.

Steve Jobs: caption different! (Lolebrity)

Megan Fox, the Sarah Bernhardt of our time? (AgentBedhead)

Having sex with Brad Pitt not good enough for Angelina Jolie (CelebWarship)

OMG photos of the Chosen Cereal and the Chosen Couch! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Are we entirely sure Christian Bale and Britney Spears are not related? (CeleBitchy)

Britney Spears is a shape-shifter (CityRag)

Bindi’s birthday bittersweet (DerekHail)

The most perfect sperm donor in the world speaks out (CelebritySmack)

Angie told: Eat a sammich, biotch! (DailyStab)

Amy Winehouse has a new gig, puts on some weight (DListed)

Heather Mills is not God (JustJared)

Alanis Morissette commits a cardinal sin (ImNotObsessed)

Is NOTHING blasphemous anymore? (Mollygood)

Sienna Miller needs advice from Jude Law, Jeremy Piven (CandyKirby)

X-rated? Or D-listed? (GoFugYourself)

RonLo/SamSay: they’re in, they’re out, they’re on, they’re off (Radar)

The Jonas Brothers: Good boys gone bad? (Websters)

Matthew McConaughey feels the Oedipal threat already (AgentBedhead)

Pregnant man’s baby worth only 1/10th a McConaughey (Gawker)

Lynn Spears ended, not just ruined, one young life (CeleBitchy)

OK, no. Britney to reunite with Justin? (OK)

Sienna Miller, Topless Terror of Torino, sues for invasion of privacy (DListed)

Ghost like Swayze? I doant THINK so! (Lolebrity)

Nick Bollea is out of juvvie (CelebritySmack)

Adam Levine is a true gentleman of the road (DailyStab)

Britney has a fallback plan if Justin says no (CityRag)

Cavalcade of trip-fab at George Clinton’s birthday (Crunk&Disorderly)

Batman vs Momzo the Clown (Defamer)

Slayer slain (GabbyBabble)

President Bush speaks on the one topic he on which he is an expert (CandyKirby)

Harriet Carter, cocktail queen (IBBB)

Daniel Radcliffe, now legal in even MORE states! (ImNotObsessed)

Gillian Anderson shows off the baby bump (JustJared)

Mr. T’s nuts! (Websters)

Shoes for a season in Hell (Radar)

Fiddy vs Taco Bell (PerezHilton)

Robert Blake hangz wit al hiz frenz (Lolebrity)

Pete Doherty demonstrates oral hygiene, a heart, mendacity (AgentBedhead)

Vince Vaughn needs braiiiiiiiinssssss (Websters)

Suzanne Summers shows you the graveyard of Alan Thicke’s hopes and dreams (SeriouslyOMG)

Pete Doherty will win Kate Moss back with Diamond of Death! (CeleBitchy)

David Beckham prefers the back door (UKPopSugar)

PerezHilton hater suing him for making her look bad (MollyGood)

Beelzebub Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller an item (JustJared)

Celebrity spawn for fun and profit (ImNotObsessed)

Racist, sexist or just plain defamatory: you decide! (CandyKirby)

Aubrey O’Day fill-in fug (GoFugYourself)

Sex Zombie King Hugh Hefner and his posse of victims (DailyStab)

The Dark Knight is our shining hope (CelebritySmack)

Gwyneth Paltrow must have sold her soul (Defamer)

Lisa Bonet’s AngelHeart past catches up with her (Crunk&Disorderly)

Buy-buy, Guy and Alliteration Challenge! (CelebritySmack)

Vader parader (Lolebrity)

David Hasselhoff is the King of the Internets! (AgentBedhead)

Colin Farrell could use some mash with that banger (Derober)

Corey HaimFeldman not feltup by MJ (CeleBitchy)

Boris Becker breeds with Barbara (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Locklear locked up (SeriouslyOMG)

Phoebie Price’s puckered posterior (DListed)

Ben has Boston on the brain, Hawaii in his heart (PopSugar)

World’s worst winner (Mollygood)

Efron fragrant sez friend (ImNotObsessed)

Nixon nixes bigger boobs (POTP)

Brendan balding (Websters)

Alicia Silverstone’s fart-free fidos (AllieIsWired)

Sienna Miller forced to sport falsies (GabbyBabble)

Snoop Dogg goes after country (DailyStab)

Jack Bauer for twenty-two hours (Defamer)

Four more 4/4′s! (FourFour)

What, Watts? (CandyKirby)

Heidi, ho (IBBB)

Bundchen brings back Brazil (JustJared)

Q: I haven’t changed my style in years .  I’m thinking of getting one of those sexy long fringes that you see on models in the magazines. Will this change my life for the better?  Please let me know - I’m just so tired of looking at the same old thing in the mirror every morning and I’m about ready to snap like Naomi Campbell at Heathrow Airport’s lost luggage counter. 

A: Yes, if done properly (by a highly skilled stylist who wields their scissors like a thing of incredible magic) a long fringe can result in immeasurable improvement for those with a glaring fivehead, a chin that is the byproduct of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s coupling or a jaw that could cut glass. Just make sure you don’t go too long, otherwise you could end up tripping all over the place.

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