Ho, ho, ho, it’s time to see who’s been naughty or nice enough to win our Caption Contest from Friday.
Tom Daley Santa
Klee December 16, 2012 at 9:44 am #
“Finally-I get MY wish!” exclaimed Mrs. Claus
Kudos and imaginary swag to Klee, who has now wrapped up two victories in a row! It’s hard to imagine a better fantasy pressie than British diver Tom Daley, so we’ve decided to give her this series of Tom Daley Stripping gifs. Feliz Lookitdat!
Dude that is a HOLE lotta pant
Professonal golfer John Daly here exhibits all the classical restraint and good taste for which he and his cohort are celebrated at country clubs around the world.
Which must be why Donald Trump wants to get into the biz.
In related news, I used to work with an aspiring pro golfer at Starbucks, and I made him raise his right hand and swear never to wear dorky clothes. He promised to be the first hip-hop golfer in the world.
Also: these are pajamas. I own them, that’s how I know. Also, give thanks you’re seeing them now, and not once they’ve shrunk a bit. Austin Powers Moose Knuckle is not a good look on anyone!
And now, in an effortless segue, your celebrity link roundup for today:
If you got into Hogwarts… (raincoaster)
Swag: I has it! (Ayyyy)
Naughty Potters! (ManoloFood)
James Potter LIVES! (Lolebrity)
Return of the Living Dead (tv shows) (Crasstalk)
Mel Gibson has been a bad, bad boy! (AgentBedhead)
Jewel has a chip (BusyBeeBlogger)
Daisy Lowe is 22 going on 45 (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Zooey “Snobby Cow” Deschanel vs Journo (CelebritySmack)
Beyonce-daddy attempts reputation management (CelebVIPLounge)
Harry Potter, dirty tagger! (CityRag)
Oh everybody! Look, Renee Zellwegger has a new “Aniston Boyfriend” (DailyStab)
Kennedy castoff gets part-time job (EarSucker)
Baby Spice Impersonator earns five quick bucks (FitFabCeleb)
Haven’t seen much of you lately…until you wore THIS! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Shia is full of Shiat (HaveUHeard)
That’s what you get for slumming, Nicki Minaj (HollywoodHiccups)
If finding dwarves hot is wrong, I don’t want to be right (INeedMyFix)
Britney beats back the Bad Boys of Fleet Street (PoorBritney)
Oh come ON, celebrity press. There’s no room in those Wranglers for a royal Babeh! (PopBytes)
Sergio Ramos, you almost make me want to watch soccer. But they wear more clothes than this (SwoonWorthy)
Lindsay Lohan shot! (TheSkinnyChic)
Selah.
It is time to announce our winner in Friday’s caption contest. Who will it be? Well, it sure won’t be the woman who had to wear the damn thing.
Tennis Ball Dress
igirl99
June 18, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Ballsy!
Congratulations and virtual swag to first-time winner, igirl99. For her hypothetical swag, we virtually offer the imaginary Ettika black leather double wrap tennis bracelet:
Don Cherry we now our gay apparel
Thank god that Don Cherry, Living National Treasure, chose to wear this jacket for tonight’s final. Whenever I couldn’t bear to watch the Canucks, I could at least look at his jacket and pretend I was on mushrooms.
Don Cherry’s suit looks like 1 of those pics where you unfocus your eyes & a dinosaur pops out
and THESE are your gossip links:
Anon and On: what’s everyone’s favorite digital anarchist hive mind up to lately? Only announcing its one year plan to change the world. Yeah, good luck with that. Also, who the hell takes marketing tips from Stalin? (raincoaster)
Taste the Biscuit: whatever it is, it tastes like 70′s synth-jazz and looks like your grandparents playing a set of Iron Maiden at Walmart. (Manolofood)
Barefoot boy revealed: did you guess our long-toed stranger correctly? Check out this fabulous, completely imaginary prize! (Ayyyy)
The Fellowship of the Blind Item: can you guess which LOTR star came on to Sean Bean and got a soaking instead of a tumble? (Lolebrity)
Favorite Movie Soundtracks: what’s yours? Oh really? That’s not as good as mine. I mean, mine is pretty obscure, and you won’t have heard of it, but I bought the soundtrack before the script was even written, back when it was an independent comic and…OW! WHY’D YOU HIT ME??? (Crasstalk)
Spandex is a privilege, not a right, Ke$ha: nobody wants to see your elephanttoe, girl, particularly not with shiny highlights. (AgentBedhead)
Anthony Weiner is a wolf in she’s clothing: and really, anything I could write after that is superfluous, no? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Vanessa Hudgens has apparently hired Anthony Weiner as her stylist: why yes, my laundress always does the ironing in skivvies and four inch heels, doesn’t yours? You must not work in Congress! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Get to know Christian Slater in the Biblical sense: good heavens, clickbaiting? MOI? (CelebVIPLounge)
Ahnold’s babymama is apparently the dumbest person on Earth: how’d you like to start out in life with those two as parents? A condom full of walnuts and an obese plastic surgery addict who does for free things that any self-respecting mistress charges for. (EarSucker)
You’ve gotta get up pretty early to put one over on Kim Cattrall. And while you’re up, you’d better mix her a drink if you know what’s good for you. (FitFabCeleb)
Luke, I am your mother: Natalie Portman spawns successfully! Even I can’t snark on a newborn baby, so that’s all there is to this headline. Awww. (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Five bucks says Joss Stone arranged this: kidnap/murder plot exposed. In other news, Joss Stone still exists. (HaveUHeard)
Liquid Dancer will melt your brain: this man makes Michael Jackson look like Jerry Seinfeld on the dancefloor. (HelloGiggles)
Check out John Edwards’ OKCupid pix: oh wait, that’s his mug shot! God, aren’t you sad you didn’t get to vote for this show pony after all? (HollywoodHiccups)
Justin Timberlake enjoys smoking weed to turn his brain off: the rest of us just listen to his music for that. (INeedMyFix)
WHY did I forget about this Great Dane? And why did I forget I was going with the colon format on these damn links? Because he’s so hot I got discombobulated, that’s why. (SwoonWorthy)
Oh great: Kate Hudson snares another sucker. Start the countdown to the breakup and heroin rehab. (TheSkinnyChic)
Selah.
David Beckham straightens up quite well
It’s not every ball-basher who looks that good in a suit. Or his underwear, come to think of it. And now that we’ve set the tone, let’s cool down with a delicious and recursive Brandy Punch Cocktail Drink, which he assures us is one of his favorites. So bend your elbow like Beckham and enjoy these gossip links:
Hippies, mushrooms, social workers, and hockey. Of COURSE this is a story from BC. Bring your short attention span and leave your patchouli back in the Mystery Machine, man. (raincoaster)
A just god would not allow this. She’s Suri. But not Suri enough for this abomination. (Ayyyy)
My Drunk Kitchen isn’t nearly drunk enough for THIS unspeakable thing. And when your cooking show needs a safety spotter, you seriously need to rethink this concept. (ManoloFood)
Batman! Thank god you’ve arrived! That’s Iraq solved, then! (Lolebrity)
Real news is what happens when God isn’t looking. Or is that G-D? But it happened this morning. (Crasstalk)
Courtney Love and Adnan Khashoggi sitting in a tree…no seriously, she’s trying to make this happen. Are we totally sure there’s a drug she hasn’t tried yet? Because she still appears to be on all of them simultaneously. (AgentBedhead)
ZOMBIES! And I ain’t talking cocktails! Zombies rule (until Animals came along…) (BusyBeeBlogger)
A million Twihards just came. RPattz is looking for a lifemate. Helpmeet. Mate. You just fainted again, didn’t you? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Cheryl Cole not ready for US prime time. No. Shit. Dude. (CelebritySmack)
Lady Gaga, I knew God. God was a friend of mine. You. Are no God. (CelebVIPLounge)
I got no farther than the concept of milking the Green Lantern before I had to take a bit of “me time” if you know what I mean and I think you do. (DailyStab)
Kim Kardashian already working on KKK? A just god would not allow this. Steve? Steve, baby? (EarSucker)
Lindsay Lohan flashes the plastic. I’m sorry, right. Even her VISA card is natural. (FitFabCeleb)
Peace out, dudes. No, seriously, peace out. Right outta my life. (GirlsTalkinSmack)
My OTHER imaginary boyfriend was on American Idol? Why, Steve and Julian will be so jealous! (HaveUHeard)
Bridesmaids outtakes. If we’re lucky this includes Jon Hamm P-slips. (HollywoodHiccups)
More proof the Gouvernator is no Kennedy. I’m sorry, but that’s no Marilyn Monroe, my friends. (INeedMyFix)
Jack Black, nekkid as a jaybird in front of the TSA. What would you give for an unobstructed view? (MathiewGuiver)
Okay, NOW I know who Shemar Moore is. And believe me, I won’t forget any time soon. (Swoonworthy)
Breaking Dawn breaking poster. This is news? Come on, Prince Hot Ginge, give us something newsworthy! (TheSkinnyChic)
Selah.
