Or maybe just the nearest heavenly body?

Patrick Kim McDermott’s Return from Xanadu (TrueSlant)

Robert Downey Junior’s Rehab Blues (Lolebrity)

Who is dating Kate Hudson? (Dealbreaker)

Figwit 2.0 (AgentBedhead)

Lady Gaga is okay with it (AllieIsWired)

Heidi, ho? (AmyGrindhouse)

Baby, Daddy (BusyBeeBlogger)

The shoes of a style icon (CeleBitchy)

Fanorexia kills (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Celebrity Foot Abuse! (CelebritySmack)

Lend Me a Seeing Eye Dog say the Olsen Twins (DailyStab)

Save the society columnist! (Gawker)

Is! Nothing! Sacred! (DListed)

Straight men skip this post (EvilBeet)

Tia Carrere is on the market! (GabbyBabble)

Nic Cage wigs out (GoFugYourself)

Erin Andrews vs the Trolls (HaveUHeard)

Channing Tatum married a necrophiliac (INeedMyFix)

The REAL secret of American Idol (IBBB)

St. Brangelina in Bosnia (JustJared)

At last, a story we can ALL enjoy (LitelySalted)

The English Patient didn’t fly THAT airline (Movieline)

Jennifer Hudson now 30% off (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

I wouldn’t touch that bunny’s eggs with a ten foot pole (UKPopSugar)

Craig Ferguson’s robot skeleton sidekick (SeriouslyOMG)

Aww, no need to take it so seriously, guys: I’m having a bad hair day myself!

Celeb Snaps: Jesse James’s Nazi Salute and Ricky Martin’s Big News (TrueSlant)

Is Jesus a celebrity? (TheCelebrityIndustrialComplex)

Jesse James says it’s all a big misunderstanding (Lolebrity)

Celebrity retweets! (raincoaster)

The Madden Brothers decoded (AgentBedhead)

GLAAD to be Ricky Martin (AmyGrindhouse)

Jesse James is taking Tiger Woods’s sloppy seconds (BusyBeeBlogger)

Just in time for holy week, Madonna wants to dress your children (LaughingStork)

Pot and Kettle in name-calling dramz (Celebitchy)

Let’s all think like Lady Gaga (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Carrie Underwood kissed a dog (CelebritySmack)

Celebrity Pantslessness (CityRag)

Dancing With(out) the following Stars (DailyStab)

What Dominatrix clowns wear in mourning (GoFugYourself)

Hell froze over and it’s Kate Hudson’s fault (HaveUHeard)

Kief Speaks! (INeedMyFix)

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Looks like SOMEBODY got a little too close to their Origami Latte this morning!

Peaches rotten, dropped (TS)

Katy Perry, Cthulhu Pornstar! (Lol)

Is school for fools? (YBF)

Axl hates bottle service (SOMG)

Situation: Buttaface (PB)

Robert Tophattinson (UKPS)

The not-so-young and restless (PITNB)

Miley sees dead people (LS)

Vancouver just got prettier (JJ)

Britney stole Harold Ramis’ old glasses (INMF)

Gerard Butler goes fishing (HUH)

Ellen Pompeo is HUUUUGE (GB)

Miss California, deadbeat (G)

LeAnn Rimes hates babies (EB)

Kim Kardashian is a pimp (DL)

Katy Perry isn’t just into girls (HM)

Dennis Hopper has always been big (DD)

Susan Boyle’s got a new crib (DS)

Shoepants? Pantshoes? (CD)

Lilo stamps out drugs! (CR)

How to stuff a wild bikini (CS)

Russell Simmons, caped crusader? (CM)

Bullock is back, bitches! (CDL)

At least they’re off the Dead Kennedy kick (CB)

Boy George has seen Gaga’s gagas (BBB)

Shakira needs help! (AG)

Lilo, how low can you go? (AIW)

Monica Belluci, you’re no Demi Moore (AB)

Thanks to a malfunction at Picapp, I’m not sure exactly who these people are, but given the news about Wayne Newton’s financial troubles (see farther down this post) I can only assume they’re some sort of Wayniac fund-raising team, perhaps busking on the street for pennies and francs to pay off creditors. All that fabulousness doesn’t come cheap!

Bums in Seats: the dollar value of celebrity bottoms (True/Slant)

The United States of Jay-Z (Lolebrity)

The Return of Reznor (AgentBedhead)

Diane Krueger has a past (LitelySalted)

Lady Gaga dares you to cross the line (AmyGrindhouse)

Hold the phone! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Nic Cage needs more than a tax shelter (CelebritySmack)

Dr Who homeless? (HolyMoly)

Betty White won’t do the casting couch (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Hot men: all you can eat! (CeleBitchy)

Nude jogging: doesn’t that hurt? (CrazyDays&Nights)

All About Eve 2.0 Nicole vs Selena (EvilBeet)

Sean Penn is such a charmer (GabbyBabble)

Bumpits hit the red carpet (GoFugYourself)

Demi Moore is immortal (INeedMyFix)

Jennifer Aniston is a total pro (IBBB)

Rihanna has found her perfect man (JustJared)

Jon Stewart gets lucky on Chatroulette (Movieline)

Johnny Depp? Or Keanu Reeves? (AccidentalSexiness)

Rootin’ Tootin’ Wayne Newton needs you, Wayniacs! (PerezHilton)

Green Lantern 3D (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Kate Moss vs Sienna Miller (UKPopSugar)

Charlie Sheen is rejected (RadarOnline)

Mickey Rourke overshare! (SeriouslyOMG)

Who the heck is Nikki Yanofsky? (TenGossip)

Overshare roundup (YoungBlackAndFabulous)

This is not actually Bruges, this is Paris, and the arrival of Clemence Poesie at the Balenciaga show. I know nobody here knows who she is, but she was awesome in the terrific, tragicomic Colin Farrell film In Bruges and should be thought of as the Euro Claire Danes, only without the homewrecking part. And as these pictures show, she’s mastered the “innocent schoolgirl” look, at a cost of no more than, say, $15,000 or so. I may be twice her age, but I’d like to think for that price I could look like an innocent French schoolgirl, too.

PS: I’m stealing the hat! That’s why in most of the shots from that day she’s holding it on tightly; I’m just out of frame, with one of those ACME pincers-on-tongs contraptions I use when out stealing hats from celebrities.

Remember Ivana Trump? She once said, “I don’t intend to look a day over thirty, but it’s going to cost The Donald a lot of money!” Let’s see how she succeeded at that:

So, on the one hand: Honey, No. On the other hand, Respect; she really hasn’t changed a bit!

1987. Yes, 1987.

Courtney Love, Chickenhawk.

Mark Twain sings the Greatest Hits of the 70′s (Lolebrity)

Gangsta! (MaterialBitch)

Oscar Campaign Violations (Movieline)

Courtney Love sics the FBI on Ed Norton (PerezHilton)

Nazis for Jordan! (UKPopSugar)

Suicide a felony? (PopBytes)

Beaver shot (SeriouslyOMG)

St. Angelina bails out (ASL)

Tyler Durden’s Rules (CopyBlogger)

Keith Urban is an icehole (Manolo)

Canucks Amok! (Gawker)

The Crazies come out at Midnight (TenGossip)

Rapper quarantined! (WOWReport)

Crazy young drunk girl vs crazy old meth mom (LitelySalted)

Tiger Woods drained (JustJared)

Suri ditches the ‘rents (IBBB)

Lady Gaga attacks! (INeedMyFix)

Prada axes models (HollywoodBackwash)

This is what DIVORCE is for, people (EvilBeet)

Avril Lavigne crosses the line (DListed)

Kelly Ripa’s biker cred (DailyStab)

The Mischamobile got towed (Celebslam)

Pete Doherty’s babysitter sentenced (AgentBedhead)

The White House Party Crashers claim their first scalp (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Blog hijacked! (CelebritySmack)

Kirstie Alley, frontman (CeleBitchy)

Did someone steal Daniel Boone’s hat? (HolyCandy)

Hugh Jackman gets cut! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Levi Johnson’s court order (AmyGrindhouse)

Don’t forget to enter the Caption Contest and win fabulous, completely imaginary prizes!

Sure, why not? I bet this will be the bestest blog post about fishing hats of the rich and famous that the world has ever seen. Because there’s a googlewhack if ever I heard one. Note we are not talking about hats made of fish; we’ve already covered those!

Charlie Chaplin in Ireland:

Cuba Gooding Junior, whose dapper felt chapeau does not agree with his funky jams At. All. and someone has to tell him so and it might as well be me:

Click onward to see Winston Churchill, Ernest Hemingway, Barons, Models, and assorted Royalty:

(more…)

Olympic Medalist Moguliste Hannah Kearney of the US isn’t sure which to admire more: her gold medal or the sweet bouquet of BC Bud with which she was presented.

This is what she sees later that night (Lolebrity)

Stephen Baldwin does NOT fancy vampires (AgentBedhead)

Brittany Murphy’s shaky Foundation (AmyGrindhouse)

Tila Tequila falls on butt, suffers brain injury (AllieIsWired)

Bono has come back to me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Stephen Colbert brings it: 1812, The Rematch! (CeleBitchy)

Kiefer is down for the count! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Jennifer Garner goes Elektra on VDay (PopEater)

Kevin Smith, mad Twitterbomber (CelebritySmack)

Hate NBC? Love families? Make them pay! (CelebrityVIPLounge)

Hugo Boss shops Canadian (DailyStab)

Joe Biden, you’re no Dick Cheney (Gawker)

Robert Pattinson is open to homoeopathy (DListed)

Britney’s special Valentine (EvilBeet)

The Olympic Schedule (HaveUHeard)

A year in the life of LiLo (IBBB)

Kelly Osbourne is still alive (INeedMyFix)

Perez and John Mayer sittin’ in a tree… (LitelySalted)

Pups & Order (NastyNets)

Make your own star baby (TenGossip)

Nekkid Brit: keeper or throw back? (UKPopSugar)

But are we, in fact, the world? (PopBytes)

Movie mulligans (Movieline)