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Rose Byrne, receiving poor hospitality

Waiter, bring me a new one

Don’t just stand there and take it young lady, I suggest you demand to speak the management right now!  What kind of event are we running here anyway – this has to be the worst folded napkin I’ve ever seen.

Ali Lohan, not best in show

Exotic longhair

The judges haven’t even begun their evaluations, but already we can tell which one won’t be winning any prizes for talent, grooming or general appearance.

Don't even get me started

But wait, there’s more!

Can you tell I was really sold on the colour

Like a carefully-wrapped gag gift, each layer reveals yet another confounding layer.  What do you think lies at the very end – a scrunched up wad of cellophane?

Ayyyy! Pop quiz

This is my shocked but sexy look

Remember Heather Graham? We do – barely. What could have caused this former It girl to react in such violent shock?
(a) Gut-wrenching news that Heidi Montag’s Heidiwood clothing line has been discontinued
(b) Unbelievable rumours of Lindsay Lohan acting like a diva on the set of Ugly Betty 
(c)  Eye-opening revelation that Alan Greenspan may not have been entirely correct
(d) The extreme makeover of Natalie Imbruglia into this generation’s Carol Channing 

It was either this or Ethel Merman

Odd one out

Oh look, another headband

All fashion luminaries on the exclusive guest list for the Chanel Mobile Art opening night party, but only one had the misfortune of arriving through a rogue airconditioning vent.  Can you tell which one?

A little too late

Why Leelee what lame clothes you have

Alas for Leelee Sobieski, with the passing of the entertaining and authoritative Mr Blackwell, she has forever lost her chance to top his worst-dressed list.  Best to aim for a less lofty goal I would think, like starring opposite a cross-dressing wolf in a children’s pantomime.

Romola Garai, takes on another challenging role

Romola Garai

In all the possible crazy what-ifs that come unbidden as one lays awake in the middle of the night, have you ever thought: What if The Joker mated with a bowling pin? If so, Romola Garai has the answer to your burning question. If not, then you probably wouldn’t make a very good celebrity stylist.

Ayyyy! Pop quiz

Glum chums

Let’s forget about our own selfish problems for the time being and consider how the past week has been such a troubling time for the celebrity world.  What best describes the mood being shared by Ryan Philippe and Eva Green?
(a) Impenetrable gloom over the end of Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s marriage
(b) Deep melancholy about David Duchovny and Tea Leoni’s announced separation
(c) Heartfelt sorrow over Hugh Hefner’s breakup with Holly Madison
(d) Infinite sadness over the tragedy that is Katie Holmes’ latest getup

Weep for me

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