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Heather Mills’s Catwalk Hairballs

Oh my, Heather Mills’s new line of “recycled” clothing isn’t pretty. It looks, in fact, like something the cat dragged in…from the bins out behind the local bordello. Behold…

Heather Mills clothes line shown at Celebrity Catwalk in Hollywood.

This jumpsuit? Had the front row shouting “Jump! Jump!”

Heather Mills clothes line shown at Celebrity Catwalk in Hollywood.

Girl, you can work it as fiercely as you want; it ain’t gonna work.

Heather Mills clothes line shown at Celebrity Catwalk in Hollywood.

Formal shorts have met their match: tuxedo manpris.

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In fact, this collection brought joy to only one viewer on Earth:
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Odd one out

Unable to get into Studio 54

All are ready for a night of glamourous excess, but which one of us should really stop shopping from exotic dancewear catalogues?

Decision time: Stella McCartney v Chrissie Hynde

The longer the bangs, the longer the jacket

Here’s an Election Day special - a pair of pantsuits for those without political ambitions.  Which one gets your grudging endorsement?