How I love the interwebs. You could just be minding your own business, trawling the celebusphere for evidence of poor accessorizing amongst the Kardashian Klan when suddenly, you’re confronted with the world’s most compelling BEFORE picture: stark evidence that while our fascination with glamour may result in some remarkable transformations, that these do not come without pain or their share of ugliness.
On that note, let me present to you what has been described as “the funniest skit in tv history,” Mrs Brown’s Bikini Wax from RTÉ Television in Ireland.
I don’t even smoke and yet I stand in awe of this marvelous little hunk of machined metal. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever and, if you Santa finds he can’t quite deliver the items on my list (Julian Assange in brown leather jeans and handcuffs) he should know that Douglas Fairbanks Jr’s lighter would be an acceptable substitute. As would Douglas Fairbanks Jr!
LOVE the hair, love the makeup, the shoes would be better if they fit and didn’t look so much like a stripper’s figure skates, and the dress is lovely.
God, I love Eva Green; she frightens me, and it takes a LOTTA fierce to do that. I’m posting this picture for several reasons, even though the makeup is uneven, and black eyeliner forgives nothing:
car wash skirts 4 eva! If you have the knees for them, very few things look as good.
minimal, make that no jewelry; it takes confidence to pull that off in the Age of Bling, but if the dress is remarkable enough, it doesn’t need sparklies.
those shoes. Those SHOES!
I own those shoes. Thank you, Eva Green, for giving me reason to feel fabulous, if only by proxy.
No, that’s not a typo. You’ll gape, too, at this amazing video of a sweet little old lady reading Snooki’s tweets.
I’m not sure what Hava Nagila is doing at the end there. Maybe they’re trying to convert her? She looks like she could use some nice grandparents like these to straighten her out, frankly.
Halloween’s almost here, folks, and if you’re not Lady Gaga that means it’s your one chance to bust a radical move in the costume department. May I suggest wrapping yourself in layers of irony by purchasing Bette Midler’s original costume for that beloved mermaid, Delores Del Lago, the Toast of Chicago?
Delores Del Lago, the Toast of Chicago
Bidding is open at $500, and they estimate that it’ll close at less than $2000, which is a steal any way you look at it.
A fuchsia fish scale printed and hand painted, panne velvet mermaid costume with nude, clam shell top all heavily embellished with crystals. Together with matching feather head piece. Worn by Midler as she portrayed one of her signature characters, Delores de Lago during performances of her February 2008 through January 2010 show at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace Las Vegas, The Showgirl Must Go On.
“Gaga, here’s your chance!!” – Bette
If you’re a perfectionist (Gaga, I am looking at you) you can also pick up the whole wheelchair chorus line as well as their mermaid costumes. But in order to fill out the original costume, girl, you gonna hafta eat a sammich.
There you go: living proof textured hose are NOT your friend. Brave of her to allow herself to be shot from below while wearing a miniskirt, but then Quebec was always transgressive that way.
And should you care to compare and contrast with the Nancy Sinatra version, here you go:
Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Mr. Manolo Blahnik. This website is not affiliated in any way with Mr. Manolo Blahnik, any products bearing the federally registered trademarks MANOlO®, BlAHNIK® or MANOlO BlAHNIK®, or any licensee of said federally registered trademarks. The views expressed on this website are solely those of the author.