Bang on, Taylor Swift!

LOVE the hair, love the makeup, the shoes would be better if they fit and didn’t look so much like a stripper’s figure skates, and the dress is lovely.

However.

Worst. QuadraBoobie. Evar!

Eva Green vampira

God, I love Eva Green; she frightens me, and it takes a LOTTA fierce to do that. I’m posting this picture for several reasons, even though the makeup is uneven, and black eyeliner forgives nothing:

• car wash skirts 4 eva! If you have the knees for them, very few things look as good.
• minimal, make that no jewelry; it takes confidence to pull that off in the Age of Bling, but if the dress is remarkable enough, it doesn’t need sparklies.
• those shoes. Those SHOES!

I own those shoes. Thank you, Eva Green, for giving me reason to feel fabulous, if only by proxy.

In a similar vein, but a slight variation, these Dolce & Gabbana pumps:

The esteemed author

No, that’s not a typo. You’ll gape, too, at this amazing video of a sweet little old lady reading Snooki’s tweets.

I’m not sure what Hava Nagila is doing at the end there. Maybe they’re trying to convert her? She looks like she could use some nice grandparents like these to straighten her out, frankly.

Halloween’s almost here, folks, and if you’re not Lady Gaga that means it’s your one chance to bust a radical move in the costume department. May I suggest wrapping yourself in layers of irony by purchasing Bette Midler’s original costume for that beloved mermaid, Delores Del Lago, the Toast of Chicago?

Delores Del Lago, the Toast of Chicago

Bidding is open at $500, and they estimate that it’ll close at less than $2000, which is a steal any way you look at it.

A fuchsia fish scale printed and hand painted, panne velvet mermaid costume with nude, clam shell top all heavily embellished with crystals. Together with matching feather head piece. Worn by Midler as she portrayed one of her signature characters, Delores de Lago during performances of her February 2008 through January 2010 show at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace Las Vegas, The Showgirl Must Go On.

“Gaga, here’s your chance!!” – Bette

If you’re a perfectionist (Gaga, I am looking at you) you can also pick up the whole wheelchair chorus line as well as their mermaid costumes. But in order to fill out the original costume, girl, you gonna hafta eat a sammich.

Contrary to popular opinion, our boots up in Canuckistan are not just made for running behind dogsleds. Sometimes they are made for  Marcher.

via JennyRojo

There you go: living proof textured hose are NOT your friend. Brave of her to allow herself to be shot from below while wearing a miniskirt, but then Quebec was always transgressive that way.

And should you care to compare and contrast with the Nancy Sinatra version, here you go:

courtney loves it

To tell you the truth, I kind of love it, too. It’s like she was on her way to a drag queen’s funeral, realized it just wasn’t fabulous enough, and stapled some wild turkeys and Shih Tzus around the hips. For Courtney Love, this is an improvement.

He put a ring on the Duchess of Alba. She paid for it, but he put it there.

Congratulations to Manolosphere favorite the Duchess of Alba and her boytoy, Whatsisname. It was a lovely ceremony by all accounts, and a lovely dress (with requisite detailing on the back, because of course the guests are staring at the back of the dress for most of the ceremony).

Baby got back! Well, the Duchess of Alba got it.

Also lovely: the undoubtably soon-to-be-made romcom, starring Vincent Cassel and Jocelyn Wildenstein.

Sophia Loren knows her Joe Cocker songs

Let no-one accuse Sophia Loren of fashion crimes! She, along with all French women and most Southern ladies knows that a lady need not remove her hat and her gloves (and her pearls) indoors, except in her own home. And regardless how often she goes to that hotel, it doesn’t count as “home.”