We’re back! Labour Day is over and it’s time to get back to labouring, including at the dazzling penthouse lair of the Manolosphere. Today we’re going to discuss something similarly stunning: Model/Designer/Muse/Force of Nature Inès de la Fressange.

Who else looks like that in jeans?

Sure, it’s easy to look that good in “this old thing” when you have genes like hers, but we can all use a little Parisian style in our lives, even if we don’t come from Paris (Inès comes from St. Tropez, which must be where she got that remarkable accent; either that or she spent WAY too much time listening to Kaiser Karl in the 80′s, but didn’t we all?). She never took her job too seriously, and was always refreshingly blunt and unpretentions in interviews. I do remember that she insisted her dog was a much better model than she was, and the photo certainly proved Jim had potential: also, since she successfully talked Vanity Fair into photographing him, she could write off his dog food.

Ines de la Fressange and Jim: WORK IT, LABRADOR!

Here are her essentials for visiting LA (a contract with Loreal doesn’t hurt either):

She’s mostly retired from modeling now, which is only fair to the younger girls of 40-something, and is directrice of Roger Vivier, which is why she’s generally photographed wearing the famous flats first made popular by Catherine Deneuve in Belle de Jour.

Now Inès has given in to her didactic side (she never just modeled; she usually narrated as well ,and very entertainingly) and written (or at least dictated, in appropriately sexy voice) a book, Parisian Chic, and while the sole bookseller here in Upper MuskOx does not carry it, I am highly inclined to order this puppy, for style can always use a refresher and it is satisfying unto one’s very soul to go through a book by a living avatar of chic and go, “I knew that. I knew that, too. Yup, that one as well…” and so on. I don’t know about you, but after the kind of summer I’ve been having, this looks like a charming sorbet before the onset (onslaught) of the next season.

See, she can read too! Try THAT, Lily Cole!

It’s time to announce a winner on our Scary Supermodel caption contest, and here it is:

Carole
May 19, 2011 at 10:34 am

Champagne wishes and Botox dreams.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Carole! To celebrate her great victory, we virtually offer this stickfigurriffic silver caviar dish. It makes me think of the lovely Janice, somehow. She reminds me of a really glamorous Baba Yaga/Dita Von Teese cross, splashing around starkers in a giant caviar dish filled with Champagne and propped up on the bones of fallen models of years gone by.

Caption this avatar of grace and beauty in the comments. The winner gets fabulous imaginary prizes!

She's asking for it. Give it to her in the comments

Suzy Parker, Man Ray style

All American beauty Suzy Parker wasn’t above ripping off a look from some hollow-chested Euro shutterbug, thereby prefacing the Gena Rowlands glasses-as-headband phenomenon by some years. Who do you like better, Suzy or Man Ray’s original model, the titled and tilted Marquise Casati?

Marquise Casati by Man Ray

And now, on to some discombobulating gossip links:

The Gospel according to Don Cherry (raincoaster)

Andre Leon Talley vs Cthulhu in the fashion wars (Ayyyy)

Fashion Fascist vs Art Ninja: who will survive? (Lolebrity)

Cinco de Mayo: Let there be Carnitas! (Manolofood)

Suri Cruise beats out that tatty Kate Middleton for Best Dressed (AgentBedhead)

America’s Royal Wedding is on: are you on the list? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Marie Osmond’s post-Easter miracle: resurrecting her first marriage (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The rear view looks like the moons of Jupiter, in hammer pants (CelebritySmack)

The Parachute Club aren’t dead: they’ve just become this woman’s stylists (CelebVIPLounge)

Don’t mess with the Donald! (CityRag)

Jesse James secures his place in the hearts of American women (DailyStab)

Congratulations, Mariah. It’s a noun and an adjective! (EarSucker)

RIP Perry White (FitFabCeleb)

An Unforgettable Writer’s Farewell (Gawker)

Busted! These celebs are total mugs (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Hey, Abbottabad! Jon Stewart is on first, second, third and home base (HaveUHeard)

Zsa Zsa is back! in the hospital (HollywoodHiccups)

Will they be changing the name to “The Real Divorcees of Beverly Hills?” (INeedMyFix)

The Cokorexia Twins leave Global HQ (MathewGuiver)

Britney makes a blogger cry!! (PoorBritney)

Colin Firth wspieolsiigeou what was I saying? (SwoonWorthy)

You know what to do. Do it in the comments:

I think it’s pretty clear there can be but one cocktail accompaniment to this, and that is a Naked Martini, otherwise known as gin, straight up (note not neat; “straight up” is shaken or stirred over ice to put a little water and oxygen into it, and gets it nice and cold, and now your cocktail trivia lesson for today is at an end).

And now, your gossip links, including the one from which I stole that picture:

And this is what happened to Steve Jobs, Viggo Mortensen and Julian Assange (raincoaster)

Help poor John Galliano find another job! (Ayyyy)

Winedown with Jean-Georges! (ManoloFood)

I am Woman, Hear me roar! (Lolebrity)

He’d better never date Jessica Simpson (AgentBedhead)

“Hustler?” Gee, I knew she was looking for work, but golly! (BusyBeeBlogger)

We should feel sorrier for her because she’s wearing THAT (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Empress of Lucite just got some more plastic (CelebritySmack)

Lock up your lesbians! Xtina is single! (DailyStab)

America is a Miley-free zone? (EarSucker)

Gee, Catherine Zeta-Jones, haven’t seen much of you lately, comparatively speaking (FitFabCeleb)

PWND! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

We LOST track of Evangeline Lilly (HollywoodHiccups)

Gwyneth Paltrow’s hip bones make the cover of Self (INeedMyFix)

Marilyn Manson official scrapes the bottom of the barrel (MathewGuiver)

Because nobody watches Britney vids for the singing (PoorBritney)

RIP Mr. Tiger Beat (Swoonworthy)

What does “Virgin Marathon” even mean? You hold out till marriage? (TheSkinny)

It was the jacket, wasn’t it? (TheSkinnyChic)

One of these things is not like the other

Celine demonstrates the authentic, little-known Quebecois-Canadian Tuxedo technique, here incorrectly applied to an American Tuxedo. Vote below:

And now, let’s have a dashing Tuxedo Cocktail and a few stiff gossip links:

Paul Rudd, birthday boy (raincoaster)

Lindsay Lohan’s staple food (ManoloFood)

Carrie Fisher captures your captions! (Ayyyy)

Angelina not so Jolie (Lolebrity)

Beastie Boys have got to fight! for the right! to remake material from 20 years ago (AgentBedhead)

John Legend is my imaginary boyfriend even if he does love Adele and golf (BusyBeeBlogger)

Kate and William are bringing my invite in person (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Nicki Minaj is trying to muscle in on Carrie’s caption game (CelebritySmack)

Mandy Moore, the extreme closeup is NOT your friend (CelebVIPLounge)

Oregon: Greatest state or GREATEST STATE? (CityRag)

Keanu Reeves has big plans for your sex life (DailyStab)

Hugh Hefner takes a load off my mind (EarSucker)

Nicky Hilton appears to be chilly (FitFabCeleb)

Solange Knowles in: Who Invited HER? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Pia J’adore (HaveUHeard)

Helen’s Magical Bosom (HollywoodHiccups)

Katherine Heigl is about to piss off the Knitting Lobby (INeedMyFix)

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at who he gives it to (MathewGuiver)

Adele vs Britney (PoorBritney)

The Bride of Wildenstein lives! (PopBytes)

Hottest Male Athletes for your aesthetic appreciation (SwoonWorthy)

Kate Moss uses her mouth for something (TheSkinny)

Justin Bieber, keepin’ it teal (TheSkinnyChic)

Eva Longoria gets 4 from the French Judge

Convinced she could stick the landing, Eva Longoria instead did a faceplant instead of a triple at GMA. Her fans claim the contest was fixed, but it’s a cinch that anyone with that kind of figure was skating on thin ice with this look.

Speaking of ice, let’s drop some into a tumbler and enjoy a Triple Lutz cocktail while perusing some links that probably should be put on ice before they swell.

Stupid Girl is sick in the head (raincoaster)

This has medicinal value (ManoloFood)

That’s a very strange growth (Ayyyy)

Beaker needs a tiger blood infusion (Lolebrity)

Canadian cancer faker free? (Gawker)

Giselle gets an unsatisfactory scan (AgentBedhead)

Bringing the Bird back from Beyond (BusyBeeBlogger)

RescussiAnnie has some competition from Charlie Sheen (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Baby On Board! (CelebritySmack)

She’s not wearing her blue gown, doctor! (CelebVIPLounge)

Which is why they call the front row Gynecology Row (DailyStab)

If she thinks she’s A-list, she needs her head examined (EarSucker)

Who needs a mammogram when you have THIS shirt? (FitFabCeleb)

I don’t care what he says, he still looks like a junkie (GirlsTalkinSmack)

100 days of sobriety? (HaveUHeard)

RIP (HollywoodHiccups)

The uterus that ATE a Promising Career! (INeedMyFix)

Rihanna’s PET scan results are internet-ready (MathewGuiver)

Britney’s body rumours put to rest? (PoorBritney)

Ferraris are like hemorrhoids (PopBytes)

Let’s give Paul Rudd his birthday wish to cure cancer (Swoonworthy)

She’s only five pounds away from being Mister Bones hanging in the corner of the lab (TheSkinny)

Making it easy for the nurse practitioner’s examination (TheSkinnyChic)

Fred Astaire loved his shoes

Strangely for a man of his era, but not-so-strangely for a trained athlete, Fred strongly maintained that he had no favorite drink, so I suppose when we salute Fred we will have to do it with an elegant dancing slipper full of imaginary Champagne. He may not have known much about alcohol, but he obviously knew from shoes, and for that we honour him.

And then trudge right on to our tawdry, drunken gossip links. *hic*

The secret of Rebecca Black’s success (raincoaster)

Happy Birthday, Brando (ManoloFood)

Show of hands! (Ayyyy)

The Great Game? (Lolebrity)

in the same way diarrhea is explosive (AgentBedhead)

Mae West could tame anything (BusyBeeBlogger)

Celebrity Apprentice roundup (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Elizabeth Hurley is back, bitches! (CelebritySmack)

The Ambiguously Gay Duo IRL (CelebVIPLounge)

Maybe we should drop HIM on Benghazi? (DailyStab)

But you couldn’t pay her to listen (EarSucker)

Billy Ray bought the first one! (FitFabCeleb)

OMG it’s like stretch pants got marked down at Walmart! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Heidi Klum slimed! (HaveUHeard)

Crackers, Jack. (HollywoodHiccups)

Lindsay Lohan typecast (INeedMyFix)

It’s like if Mad Max Thunderdome had cheerleaders (MathewGuiver)

Just how Fatale is Britney? (PoorBritney)

He could slime me anytime (SwoonWorthy)

OMG fatty fat fatties! (TheSkinny)