Ayyyy!

Jack Black’s talkin’ smack ’bout Angelina’s twin pack (POTP)

Celebrate National Dance Like a Chicken Day! (CandyKirby)

Jack Black in Disco Panda-Fu Attack! (Defamer)

Top Ten TV Meltdowns (Gawker)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty star in Dancing With The Has-Beens! (DailyStab)

Britney does Da Bump (IBBB)

Colin Farrell in Mars Attacks! (CelebritySmack)

Comrade Christie Brinkley Leads Dance Dance Revolution (Gabsmash)

Jim Rockford won’t let a minor stroke keep him down! (Bumpshack)

Miley Cyrus will drink your milkshake, fail to shake skanky image (Websters)

Diddy drinks down. Waaaaaaay down (EvilBeet)

The curse of going public: Jodie Foster splits with Cydney (GabbyBabble)

George Clooney settles for scorpion’s sloppy seconds (ImNotObsessed)

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty to perform duet of death (CeleBitchy)

Sir Paul McCartney has environmentally-sensitive car flown in from Japan (HuffPo)

Maxim’s minimal-impact hottie list (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood’s worst beards (Defamer)

Captain James Tiberius Kirk will have none of your alien perversions, New Yorker! (Gawker)

You never live down the O-face (HearThis)

Happy Mothers Day from LeBron James (WithMalice)

Mr Big for sale, asks no inconvenient questions (AgentBedhead)

Vanessa Williams, BA (BlackCelebrityKids)

Hugh Hefner is a confirmed bachelor (DailyStab)

Famke Janssen is no breeder (ImNotObsessed)

Momentarily straight Drew Barrymore will hunt you down (ICYDK)

Maddox Jolie-Pitt is a swinger! (JustJared)

Sex and the Philip Treacy (GoFugYourself)

The mother of all power breeders strikes again: Britney pregnant? (CeleBitchy)

Colin Farrell, notch in Britney’s unchastity belt: hot or not? (UKPopSugar)

R Kelly (”The Defendant”) can dish it out but not take it (Bossip)

Clay Straitken haiku (Mollygood)

Isaiah Washington awfully princessy for straight man (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Tila Tequila, early bird AND worm (CelebritySmack)

Scientology and bad PR: a deadly combo (AgentBedhead)

Tom Cruise explains himself (CeleBitchy)

Origami Guy Fawkes mask (Chosetec)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round eight-billion: May 10th (raincoaster)

The curse of Katie Holmes! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Lindsay Lohan is an unhappy poster girl (DListed)

Beyonce has a pay to play deal (Bossip)

Gary Coleman makes sense? The end days are upon us (Mollygood)

Paris Hilton is engaging in substitution, but it’s better than the alternative (PopSugar)

Miley Cyrus is a bad influence on Minnie Mouse (Webster’s)

Agyness Deyns to make out with another girl’s boyfriend (TheRadReport)

Best (Worst?) Hollywood hellraisers (HolyMoly)

P Puff Diddy Daddy has a star on the Walk of Fame, now stuck with a name (SeriouslyOMG)

Chloe Lattanzi is Toxic! (AllieIsWired)

Shine on, you crazy Neil Diamond (DailyStab)

Brangelina beats Oprah like a red-headed mule (CandyKirby)

Obama is a Hills groupie (IBBB)

Miley Cyrus does something decent for a change (ImNotObsessed)

Stars! They’re just like us! They love free donuts too! (JustJared)

The Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon love child (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Valentino: Orange FAIL (Popbytes)

Megan was a light-fingered Fox (CelebritySmack)

John Mayer commemorates this day with historic haircut (CelebrityDirt)

Christina Aguilera is overcome at the emotional celebration (CandyKirby)

Asbestos is the opiate of the people…the people who go on Scientology cruises (AgentBedhead)

Madonna and Justin Timberlake entertain the masses (DailyStab)

Let them eat brioche, say Angie and Brad (ImNotObsessed)

Brazilian shoemaker poses with accessibly-priced, responsibly-manufactured footwear (DerekHail)

Britney Spears blew $61 million dollars in one year and you earn no interest on your tax refund (CeleBitchy)

Gadfly of the establishment the DC Madam dies under mysterious circumstances (Jezebel)

The Man keeps the People down yet again (DListed)

Comrade Ricky Martin launches human rights hotline (ICYDK)

Performers reenact the effect of Capitalism on the Worker. Also: hawt (CelebSlam)

People Magazine now the official newsletter of Doublethink (Websters)

The Opiate of the People just got the cover of Time (Mollygood)

SATC collective maintains party line (PopSugar)

Rehab a rehab: do I smell a new Vegas-themed commune? (Defamer)

At least someone was on hand to sound the death knell for protest marches: Million DJ March (Gawker)

Control of the means of production means Stella McCartney will keep you in pretty, lucite chains (GabbyBabble)

The overlords stick together even on AI (CelebritySmack)

Could this be the ultimate face reading challenge? See if you can match the Ed Burns expression (in all its multi-layered and subtle complexity) to the description below:
1. Tremendously honoured to be celebrating the Tribeca Film Festival
2. Thrilled to be married to one of the most beautiful women in the world
3. Extremely pleased about his movie career to date
4. Deeply appreciative of Chanel’s contribution to the world of fashion

The Hoff hassled to the tune of $25,000 per month Hasselmony (USAToday)

Vince Vaughn is the Flabby Flasher of Griffith Park (CelebSlam)

Akon guilty of criminal assault on the truth with intent to blow smoke up your ass (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood selling out (no, that’s not a tautology) (Derober)

The jailbird diaries of Pete Doherty (HolyMoly)

Britney’s Total Fitness? Somewhere between couch potato and Basset Hound (TheBlemish)

America’s Next Top Flight Attendant? (IBBB)

Gossip Wars: attack of the necroporn pimps! (Defamer)

Who is this “Dalai Lama” of whom you speak? (Gawker)

Scientology vs the Little Guy, round N+1 (XenuTV)

Naomi Campbell shuts barn door, gazes wistfully after horse (CelebritySmack)

Get M-K O’s look! Then, presumably, get much-needed corrective lenses (CircusHour)

Ashlee Simpson just isn’t worth it (DListed)

Cameron Diaz issues statement about the death of her father (CeleBitchy)

Johnny Depp will never work with Renee Zellweger again as long as he lives (DailyStab)

Blake, Incarcerated, Forgotten (TheSun)

Scarface (GabbyBabble)

Putin’s poontang  (BittenAndBound)

Victoria Beckham’s Pink Taco is 34? (JustJared)

Cindy McCain pulls a Jessica Seinfeld (FromScratch)

How Rick Rolls (AgentBedhead)

The Shat is indestructable! (CelebritySmack)

Renee Zellweger’s reality distortion field functioning well (CeleBitchy)

Paris apologizes to Kim Kardashian for being such an ass (GabbyBabble)

Lily Allen proves blondes don’t have more fun: or at least, they don’t enjoy it (ImNotObsessed)

The Hills are alive…with silicone (ImBringingBloggingBack)

Survivor Micronesia: Everybody loves Tom Jones (RealityTV)

Ashlee Simpson/Pete Wentz shotgun wedding: the photo proof (DailyStab)

Even vampires won’t touch the blood of Naomi Campbell (DListed)

LeAnn Rimes goes from bed to verse (GoFugYourself)

Menopauseland doesn’t look so bad, really (CircusHour)

Debunking the Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape (Defamer)

Brigitte Bardot hates Muslims (Gawker)

Natalie Portman’s boyfriend Devendra Banhart: hawt or nawt? (Defamer)

Renee Zellweger’s true nature revealed at last! (CelebritySmack)

Renee gets it half-right (Yeeeeah)

Britney cleverly avoids tan lines, personal dignity (Cityrag)

But she DOES put out for charity: $25,000 on her Amex (PopSugar)

MILF vs MILF: Hurley/Paltrow edition (Bastardly)

No, you cannot get in George Clooney’s pants (HuffPo)

The ULTIMATE purse dog (CounterfeitChic)

Nicole Richie is fed up with Paris “Me Too” Hilton (HollywoodBackwash)

Only 40 people in the world want to be Paris’ friend (CeleBitchy)

ScarJo and RyRey have a fight (ICYDK)

Married man caught on film kissing Hillary and NO it’s not Bill! (AgentBedhead)

Pete Doherty has no friends; Kate Moss has no class (HolyMoly)

Mariah Carey says she has low self-esteem, demonstrates unsuspected gift for sidesplitting comedy (DailyStab)

Sandra Bullock is on the run from … wait for it … CANADA! (ImNotObsessed)

Joanie loves orgasms! (DListed)

Vanilla Ice put on ice (JustJared)

Britney Spears is Blanche DuBois in the new Moby musical A Streetcar Named Batshiat (CircusHour)

Alicia Keys is a conspiracy theorist (POTP)

RIP Cedella Booker. Say hi to your son Bob Marley when you get to the other side (CelebrityDirt)

Melanie Griffith’s kid is no Rumer Willis (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Padma Lakshmi models the Ed’s Linens Collection (GoFugYourself)

Hollywood flashback to 1999 (FilmExperience)

Reality tv kills four (Mollygood)

Johnny Depp engaged: international state of mourning declared (CelebrityDirt)

A beginner’s guide to Uwe Boll (AgentBedhead)

You had me at “Shitfaced” (Defamer)

Scarlett Johansson sexy nurse photos leaked, threatened, defied (HollywoodNewsroom)

Ten things Karl Lagerfeld could live without (Jezebel)

Eight pages of reasons to hate Heather Mills (CeleBitchy)

Gwyneth Paltrow calls Britney crazy (DigitalSpy)

Rosie O’Donnell won’t give up the crazy crown jewels that fast (CircusHour)

George Clooney is in love! (DailyStab)

Naomi Campbell is a racist (HolyMoly)

Cheney fails to win hearts, minds, votes of soldiers in Iraq (Mollygood)

Chuck Norris assassination plot! (DListed)

Prince has his price. And it ain’t cheap! (PerezHilton)

Yale male fail (Gawker)

Natalie Portman is seeing a … hicksa? (JustJared)

Pete’s in the pokey (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse is a wigger (Yeeeeah)

Wigger, please. Benji Madden’s blackface birthday (ImNotObsessed)

Top Ten most hated people on the internet (Radar)

Stars in their eyes, parole in their futures: top 25 child stars (Defamer)

Nobody puts Swayze in the corner (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise’s Village People connection (HollywoodOffender)

Naomi Campbell is black, beautiful, bitchy, and banned (TheBlemish)

Bai Ling is Grand Fug Champion, 2008 (GoFugYourself)

War of the Worlds 2 starring John Travolta and not at all insane Tom Cruise (CelebritySmack)

Christina Aguilera’s peeled pool party profanity (GenosWorld)

Jessica Simpson finds her dream man (Websters)

The inexorable return of Corey Haim (SeriouslyOMG)

90210 2.0 (CircusHour)

I Ken Lee: a YouTube superstar is born (TheManolo)

Brian Atene: a YouTube superstar returns (YouTube)

Kate Beckinsale’s Kiefer Sutherland fantasy (DailyStab)

David Beckham has been a bad, bad boy (JustJared)

Drew Barrymore heckles for charity (WendyWayrad)

Naomi Campbell’s body fluids are felonious (CelebWarship)

Woody Harrelson is built, bald, and bare (Defamer)

Luciano Pavarotti pulled an Ashlee Simpson (Gawker)

What are the Presidential candidates like in bed? (TheStranger)

William and Harry react to the verdict in the Princess Diana inquest (PerezHilton)

Botox: it’s all about a jarring lack of self-awareness (CircusHour)

Demi Moore’s bloodsucking leeches (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Victoria Beckham attempting takeover of “Baby Spice” role (Mollygood)

Britney’s partner in fashion crime to be Christian Audigier (Styleguide)

The Britney-FedEx breakup starts a trend (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Moss weighs 98 pounds soaking wet: the proof! (ICYDK)

Like shooting fish in a barrel: Rob Lowe blackmailed! (HuffPo)

Kylie Minogue speaks out about breast cancer (CeleBitchy)

Whitney Houston’s boobs and Dionne Warwick’s face at Muhammad Ali’s Fight Night (Bossip)

Tom Ford is Gay James Bond (DListed)

Britney hitches her star to the comeback tour bus (CelebSlam)

Sharon Stone’s basic instinct is to keep her knees together, thankfully (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Hayden Panettiere terrifies a small child (WWTDD)

Jessica Alba wore black to her baby shower (DailyStab)

Ashlee Simpson vs Mariah Carey (Yeeeeah)

Vlad loves Georgie (KnowledgeIsPower)

Tony loves Georgie (raincoaster)

Stop Uwe Boll, save the world! (AgentBedhead)

V for Valtrex attends wedding (CelebritySmack)

The Ozzfather: Survivor Micronesia recap (RealityTV)

Margaret Cho is a tour guide in the Tunnel of Love (AgentBedhead)

Quentin Crisps (FrontierFormerEditor)

Pete Doherty stole Paula Abdul’s gloves (Dlisted)

Anonymous vs Scientology, round n+1: Operation Reconnect (1stepbeond)

Cult Friction, Scientology decoded (RadarOnline)

Jerry Seinfeld flips out (Derober)

Lindsay Lohan loses a zero, finds the role of a lifetime (CelebritySmack)

Justin Timberlake was a little bit country when he was only a little bit, himself (AllieIsWired)

Angelina Jolie before she had Brad and rhinoplasty (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Naomi Campbell behaves Naomi Campbellianly again (CelebWarship)

New pic of JLo’s twins: r not so cute akshuly (TeenyManolo)

Larry Campbell behaves Larry Campbellianly at Little League (Bumpshack)

OK what? Suri Cruise returns to Earth; celebrity mags, not so much (OK)

Anne Hathaway’s boytoy arrested for blowing through others’ cash like it was…blow? (WendyWayrad)

Baby wants her back back: entire Beckham family stuffs their jeans (TheRadReport)

Steve Jobs takes on the Big Apple (Wired)

Celebrity moose knuckle (Cityrag)

Happy birthday, Britney! (CircusHour)

Happy birthday, Jamie-Lynn (CelebrityBabyScoop)

George Clooney’s not-so-secret bromance (Celebitchy)

Claudia Schiffer hits the slopes with Mini-Her (JustJared)

Tomorrow NKOTB on Today! (DailyStab)