L is for LolXena Looking down your shirt (Lolebrity)

V for Vitamins Aren’t Working, Tom (AgentBedhead)

H is for Hospital, which is for Amy Winehouse, stat (CelebritySmack)

B is for … Miley Cyrus! (DailyStab)

L is for Lindsay Lohan (DanasDirt)

D is for DUI for Shia Laboeuf (Defamer)

P is for mystery Passenger (ImNotObsessed)

F is for Maggie Gyllenhaal, Fashion Victim (EvilBeet)

S is for Sternum I’d rather not see (GoFugYourself)

H is for Hungry, and someone get Naomi Campbell a sammich! (CandyKirby)

R is for Roots, proof Marissa Miller isn’t perfect (IBBB)

B is for Bald John Mayer (JustJared)

J is for Jawbone of an ass (Websters)

M is for Manlove for Bob Saget (SeriouslyOMG)

B is for Bilson Bedhead (PopSugar)

F is for French Letters to Miley (Mollygood)

A is for Animals Attacking Celebrities (Gawker)

S is for Shark who can’t seem to swallow (CeleBitchy)

J is for Joker, and also Juvie (DListed)

Well, this is nice….a couple of old friends dressed up for a happy occasion, grins and empty sockets all round.  But of course any celebration wouldn’t be complete without the Soul Sucking Sceptre of Death!

Studies have shown that the average man would gladly give their right arm to have Adriana Lima slobber lovingly all over their remaining arm.  Yet here we have her new fiance looking like he picked the door with the dud prize.  What’s going on here? Does she have mortifying hygiene issues?  Does she hog the remote control AND the covers? Is she secretly a troll?  Tell us man, tell us what is so lacking about this relationship. We don’t want other men making the same mistake with these defective Victoria’s Secret models!

Dere’s nuttin lyke a Dame Helen Mirren in a bikini (Lolebrity)

Her Majesty’s only suitable consort: James Bond (Websters)

Aubrey O’Day: when drag queens go bad (JustJared)

Jordan: when drag queens get it right (GoFugYourself)

Justin Timberlake gets a makeover (Defamer)

In unrelated news, Amy Winehouse has gained weight (Towleroad)

Finally, Ben Affleck understands what all those high school health classes were about (ImNotObsessed)

The private hell of the professional autographer (Radar)

Kate Hudson goes the distance to whack some balls (PopSugar)

Emmy nominations; Katherine Heigl surprisingly absent (SeriouslyOMG)

The Goot is a lover AND a fighter (Mollygood)

Breast Dressed: the Estrogen Gladiator (CandyKirby)

The Peroxide Twins do lunch (IBBB)

HBO tells Seth Rogen that Canadians don’t deserve entourages (HollywoodBackwash)

Pete Doherty is wanted? (GabbyBabble)

Claire Danes is the Skeleton in Red (EvilBeet)

Katie Holmes commits the ultimate fashion crime (DListed)

Heidi Klum’s body not perfect enough for insurance company (DailyStab)

Amy Winehouse spotted in a bathroom stall (CelebritySmack)

Chav Pride! (AgentBedhead)

Dress your children in Avril Lavigne (CeleBitchy)

Oh, Please, God! (AgentBedhead)

The Next Joker! (CelebritySmack)

Hancock vs Cock (Dailystab)

Who wore it best? (CandyKirby)

Fish pimpin’ with Beckham (Hollywoodbackwash)

Eva Longoria is Orange  (JustJared)

The Legs win the Championship (GoFugYourself)

Meet the Hedgehog! (Mollygood)

Naomi Campbell rehabs a garden (PerezHilton)

Fiddy fit to be a dad (BlackCelebrityKids)

America’s Next Top Wig Model (IBBB)

Marilyn Manson should give her a call (Yeeeeah)

Beetlejuice is black? (Crunk&Disorderly)

TomKat sprays entire playground before letting TomKitten loose in it (CeleBitchy)

Maggie Gyllenhaal is Undead! (Websters)

Hips don’t lie…and eyes will never un-see this (YouTube)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Battle of the Matthews! (TeenyManolo)

Katherine Heigl/Greys Anatomy Writers war at Defcom 3 (Defamer)

Ashley Kaufman can has dysfunctional famlee, recording contract? (Lolebrity)

Heidi Fleiss, failed madam, successful reality show star (WOWReport)

A-Rod behaving like a free agent (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Is this a musical which I see before me,
The Beckhams the subject? Come, David, let me clutch thee;
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. (SeriouslyOMG)

Jake Gyllenhaal is a swordsman (ASL)

The pregnant woman/man gives birth (LilSugar)

England hates America: REVOLT! (Radar)

Jay-Z keeps slaves? (PerezHilton)

Chris Martin: a boob saved by boobies (Mollygood)

Anderson Cooper is in the Advocate and he doesn’t care who knows it (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Jack Black stole his mom’s stash (ImNotObsessed)

Chace Crawford hearts the cougars (JustJared)

What not to wear…LIVE! (GoFugYourself)

Relive the Rave! (FourFour)

Christie Brinkley will soon be free of that creep (DListed)

Lindsay Lohan beats the odds, makes it to 22 (Defamer)

Matt Damon no longer sexiest man alive (DailyStab)

Coming soon: a mysterious poisoning in Afghanistan (Crunk&Disorderly)

Shockingly, Katie Holmes fails to sell more than a million dollars in tickets (AgentBedhead)

Matt Damon ar Canoodlian? (Lolebrity)

Brit Naomi Campbell represents Africa (AgentBedhead)

Mary-Kate Olsen brings, wears, the kimono and kiltie-based Wackness (CelebritySmack)

Brangelina donates $1million to help children of war (Websters)

Amy Winehouse downsizes the party (DListed)

Sigourney in space? (DailyStab)

Ben Affleck talks about the Congo (ImNotObsessed)

Barack Obama loses the bimbo vote! (CandyKirby)

Cruise Beckham (CelebDirtyLaundry)

GyllenSpooning (JustJared)

Five dumbest reality show gimmicks (Mollygood)

Gayest movie robots (Radar)

Prince Harry, rump roast inspector (UKPopsugar)

Mario Lopez ChestHairGate! (Defamer)

Tim McGraw boots an attacker (CeleBitchy)

I didn’t know Ashanti was in Ice Capades (GoFugYourself)

Oprah’s is the biggest I’ve ever seen! (CrunkAndDisorderly)

Kanye’s mother’s Doctor Death no longer Doctor, DUI’d for good measure (PerezHilton)

Well, what do you know? You CAN be too thin! (ParkAvenuePeerage)

For some ladies it seems, the grand occasion of Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday is really no different to an overnight affair at the Playboy Mansion.