Ayyyy!

Well, you can’t be the co-admin of the Vancouver Whiskey and Scotch Meetup without sampling the wares. If it’s a business obligation, it’s calorie-free, right? Sadly, not hangover-free.

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: McQueen vs The King! (TeenyManolo)

Canada vs Tori Spelling (Websters)

Zac Quinto, hawt squinto (TenGossip)

Pregnant Ellen Pompeo is off the BFPON diet (ASL)

Cougar attack, threat level Brooke Shields (SeriouslyOMG)

Lenny Kravitz gives good face (Popbytes)

Katie Price has trouble with this “Dignified silence” thing (UKPopSugar)

Bristol Palin, single mom, graduates from high school (JustJared)

Helena Bonham Carter in costume as herself (INO)

The Farrah Fawcett Story (GabbyBabble)

Ivy League school really pisses off Filipino prisoners (EvilBeet)

Gordon Ramsay’s bonbon (HolyMoly)

Robert Pattinson may not shower, but he’s not as gross as his fans (Handbag)

Party at Colin Farrell’s! (Celebslam)

Anna Faris like a pig to the slaughter (DailyStab)

Suri Cruise->Amy Winehouse? (AllieIsWired)

Tabloid Wars! (AmyGrindhouse)

Fellini outdone? Nine trailer (BusyBeeBlogger)

Imagine that? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes try in vitro fertilization (CeleBitchy)

Trent Reznor is making the biggest mistake of his life (AgentBedhead)

Annoyingly wholesome, I know, but I’m supposed to be on a liquid fast in solidarity with the homeless no lie so I’m trying to make this as painless as possible. I’m allowed all the blended-beyond-solidity smoothies I can suck down before the homeless have houses or I pass out or my bowels explode, whichever comes first. Whenever it gets too painful, I console myself with the realization that Redbreast is a liquid too!

Viva la Diva! (HolyMoly)

Pete in Paree (LondonBlog)

Christian Bale, Dancing Queen (raincoaster)

Penny vs Woody (AgentBedhead)

Blond on Blonde? (Websters)

Suri: “Srsly?“ (SeriouslyOMG)

Ink not mink (CelebritySmack)

Duff guff (CeleBitchy)

Miley face (CandyKirby)

Meerkat Messiah (GOTA)

Jailbird Joe (CelebWarship)

Lady of Leisure (IBBB)

RyRey Rejected! (Defamer)

Silly Lily (UKPopSugar)

Let’s just say it’s been one of those days. Actually, it’s been two of those da- make that “one of those weeks.” And it’s still only Thursday morning!

Vote for me! (ShortyAwards)

Nine Inch Noels (AgentBedhead)

Obama Bogarts (CeleBitchy)

Eddie Murphy gives Batman the kiss of death (CelebritySmack)

Jeremy Piven leaves Broadway for career as thermometer (DailyStab)

YOU don’t know how much Will Smith gave to Scientology. I DO!!!! (Defamer)

ScarJo donates bodily excretions instead (DListed)

What happened to Jenny McCarthy? (HolyMoly)

Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway team up to induce diabetes (ImNotObsessed)

Separated at Birth, the Royal Edition (ASL)

Yes, Men, No, Zooey (EvilBeet)

Jennifer Aniston thrilled about upcoming Cougar Birthday (GabbyBabble)

The Invasion of Chynna (CandyKirby)

Suri is riding dirty (IBBB)

Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite holiday recipes (JustJared)

Ben @ tha UN (PopSugar)

The infamous Brandy Alexander has the unique distinction of being the first drink of which my mother ever consumed an excess. She’d been assured that the cream would coat her tummy so the brandy wouldn’t hit her too hard. Been assured. By a liar.

She remembers throwing her shoes off the cliff above St. Tropez and her new husband having to step around nude couples on the beach looking for them after he climbed down, and, frankly, not much after that for the next three days.

So, you’re warned.

A Photoshop is Worth1000 words (AgentBedhead)

Spoiler alert: the dog does NOT die: the dog goes on to re-date John Mayer (Websters)

SantaCon is ON, bitches! (CityRag)

and this is Jim Carrey’s brain on drugs (ASL)

Tom Cruise does the Flop Ten on Letterman (SeriouslyOMG)

Pellicano for the Pen! (WizbangPop)

Best of British exports (UKPopSugar)

Pete Wentz overshares. Again. (HolyMoly)

Penn Badgley’s ballsy (JustJared)

JLo sperminated?!?!?!?! (ImNotObsessed)

Your chance to blow away Santa (IBBB)

Size queen (BusyBeeBlogger)

Yes, RuPaul Can! (DListed)

Looks like Grampaw forgot his teeth (CandyKirby)

And this may be Shenae Grimes’ brain on drugs (HollywoodBackwash)

Your token Brandy story (EvilBeet)

The Quaids settle with the hospital that OD’s their children (DailyStab)

Columbo even more confused now (CelebritySmack)

Hilary Duff was never a virgin! (CeleBitchy)

Suri Cruise uses four-letter words (AmyGrindhouse)

Hot Tom and Jerry is actually a noxious drink, but it has a place in the canon if only because of its supporting role in Damon Runyan’s immortal Dancing Dan’s Christmas.

Bill Murray, 24 hour party person (AgentBedhead)

The Gossip Girl gossip (AmyGrindhouse)

Suri and Katie have the same stylist (BricksAndStones)

Sesame Street goes to Gitmo? (CeleBitchy)

Another Viggo? (CelebrityBabyScoop)

The latest Crazy Spears Family rumour (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

No, THIS is the latest Crazy Spears Family rumour (DailyStab)

Nobody wins when you play Russian Roulette (CelebritySmack)

Carrie Fisher comes full circle (Defamer)

As does Christina Aguilera (GabbyBabble)

Kim Basinger, however, is eternal (Websters)

Maverick’s Crackberry AWOL (DListed)

Who is this woman and what has she done with Audrina Patridge? (EvilBeet)

Middle-aged spinster displays desperation (CandyKirby)

Joel McHale gives the un-royal wave (IBBB)

It was a dark and stormy night, and all the crew were gathered in the cabin. The captain turned to the first mate and said, “Pass the Laphroaig, please.”

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: historical hunk edition (TeenyManolo)

Item #38 in Things You Already Knew: Madonna hates America (AgentBedhead)

Malawi strikes back! (CeleBitchy)

Melissa Etheridge is back on the market whether she likes it or not! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Julia Hudson is a whackadoodle (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway has some freaky pen friends (DailyStab)

Courtney Love is easily confused (Defamer)

The Return of Britney Spears (DListed)

On Karl’s iPod (FakeKarl)

Katy Perry is no Grace Jones (GoFugYourself)

Justin and Britney reunited under adult supervision (IBBB)

Suri Cruise has a message for you (CandyKirby)

Russell Brand got thrown out of England (UKPopSugar)

Nicole Kidman is just jealous (Websters)

Zac Efron is literal-minded, not dirty-minded! (Yeeeeah)

Life lessons from Judge Judy (Jezebel)

Courting Condi (Mollygood)

The Martini Navratilova is perhaps one of the most perfect cocktails ever invented: injury and cure in one, with a dash of wit. Most recipes are a standard mix of classic cocktail ingredients, but my favorite recipe is more basic, as well as more amusing: vodka and Gatorade.

All eyes on Katy Perry (CelebuWreck)

Beyonce stars in Tron 2.0 (DListed)

Gwyneth Paltrow needs to lay off the herbals, eat a sammich (AgentBedhead)

Gee, if these two crazy kids can’t make it as a couple, what hope is there for the rest of us? (CelebritySmack)

Jesse James is an outlaw! (DailyStab)

Cosmetic surgeon saves America! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Ellen comes out against Prop 8 (CeleBitchy)

Ode to Papouli (IBBB)

Brother Barack can come out now (Jewcy)

Leo DiCaprio passes the torch to Zac Efron (PopSugar)

Jean-Claude van Damme is back, bitches! (Defamer)

CliffNotes: A Trainwreck Named Winehouse (CandyKirby)

Suri Cruise will stiff the playground valet and he will LIKE it (CelebWarship)

Gwyneth Paltrow attends children’s charity event in a brewery (ImNotObsessed)

The celebrity couple’s in trouble when HIS fashion choices make it into the article (JustJared)

Sloppy Seconds and the City (Mollygood)

Puppycam! (SeriouslyOMG)

Don’t quit your day job, Ashton (Websters)