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Panty Moistening Prince Harry and Puppy Post-Hump Day Hunk

Sorry we’re late with this. Down with a spell of food poisoning: I should never have switched from vodka to lemonade. It was obviously too much for my system (also, lemon juice goes bad? WHO KNEW?).

This will make it all better.

Prince Harry and a puppy. You're welcome.

Prince Harry and a puppy. You're welcome.

Awwww. Now that you’ve recovered sufficiently, let’s move on to some adorable gossip links.

Deflowering virgins on television? Eh, it’s a living for Sandra Rinomato. Does she know Harvey? (Crasstalk)

Spirit Animals: how do they work? Help me choose between Courage Wolf and Sexually Oblivious Rhino as my mascot (raincoaster)

Pitcher? or catcher? The all-important “what to put the booze in” question just in time for picnic season (ManoloFood)

Nigella Lawson undercover. Girlfriend, jihadi chic is NOT how you do a topless beach. (Ayyyy)

This is why cutoffs were invented. There … wait … hmmm? … what was I saying? (Lolebrity)

Win a pair of Whooga boots! Like the FB page and enter to win one of three pairs each month (Whooga)

ScarPenn/SeanJo trouble in paradise? Uh, well duh. And somewhere, Ryan Reynolds chuckles softly. (AgentBedhead)

Why do they put the coke THERE? Playboy Bunnies are dumb, yo. (BusyBeeBlogger)

No, seriously, I thought this was Carrot Top for a second. Someone needs to give Rihanna some conditioner STAT (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kate Middleton does a discreet Michael Jackson crotch grab, paparazzi fails to notice? (CelebritySmack)

Time’s 100 Most Influential People once again leaves me off the list. I had to beg them. Discretion is everything to me (CelebVIPLounge)

We may get our wish: Snooki is slowly vanishing! Just hang in there till 2020 and she’ll disappear entirely! (DailyStab)

Anything to get laid, eh RPattz? Dreamy McSparklepants reveals his sordid social secrets (EarSucker)

Oh look, it’s old Mae West– oh wait, it’s Xtina. That lingerie must have more technology than a typical NASA launch to keep from self-destructing. That is one whole lotta surface tension (FitFabCeleb)

Honestly, Gaga, that was so ret- … uh, developmentally challenged! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Kanye Kant (run his charity anymore, that is). Kanye West doesn’t care about other people? (HaveUHeard)

So how much DOES it cost to marry a crown prince? It’s important to do the math, people. (HollywoodHiccups)

Gwen Stefani invites science to knock her up. I know any number of labcoated genii who’d be happy to oblige (INeedMyFix)

Everyone loves a man in uniform. Or a hot lesbian. Just as long as they’re doing a Britney lipdub. (MathewGuiver)

The Britney performance the network didn’t want you to see! No, seriously, they went to commercial. (PoorBritney)

James Marsden with cuddly bunnies, chicks, etc. No, seriously, why haven’t you clicked this already? (Swoonworthy)

An Olsen Twin debuts the World’s Ugliest Pants. No seriously, the other one keeps cracking up. Guess who lost the bet in the dressing room? (TheSkinny)

Dances with Scientologists. This guy has been milking that one role for nearly 40 years now (TheSkinnyChic)

 

Pee Wee’s Big Christmas Gossip Link Roundup

With Charo! NOTHING says “Christmas” like a blindfold, a Glen plaid suited children’s entertainer, and a song from Charo!

Jesus has two Daddies! (Warning: extreme cuteness)(raincoaster)

John Cusack then whispered it to attack Piven’s hairpiece (Lolebrity)

Ho, ho, ho! It’s a very 70′s Christmas (Ayyyy)

The secret Santa/Ninja connection (ManoloFood)

Elf you! South Park style cards (AgentBedhead)

RyRey gets ready for me (BusyBeeBlogger)

Keira Knightly gives the men of the world the greatest Christmas present ever (CeleBitchy)

Least Likely Headline Ever: There’s No Paris Hilton Sex Tape (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Yes, the Brittany Murphy story is getting even creepier (EarSucker)

Vanessa Hudgens, Michael Jackson impersonator (FitFabCeleb)

Tiny Goth gnome hides under mushroom (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Zac Efron eats street meat (HaveUHeard)

Pauly D has World’s Worst Hair and His Own TV Show (INeedMyFix)

The 12 films of Christmas (Movieline)

And let’s close with a visit from Grace Jones!

Hump Day Links: Tom Cruise Edition

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, but I have my reasons.

Tom Cruise would be quite tolerable if he'd only keep his mouth shut

Tommy Boy may be as nutty as a Sandra Lee-inspired fruitcake, but he sure is pretty! I’d join him for a Risky Business Cocktail any time (if only to keep his mouth full so he couldn’t talk).

Joel is no mystery man (raincoaster)
Gary Oldman, man of a thousand grooming choices (Lolebrity)
Nigella Lawson and John Cusack would be a dream couple (Manolofood)
Norman Mailer and a poodle (Ayyyy)
Ewww, Simon Cowell arms! (AgentBedhead)
Whut up, Don Draper? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Mariah, that’s not very flattering to your husband (CeleBitchy)
Two and a Half Times as much Idiocy (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The Addams Family paints the town black (CityRag)
Who’s Sari Now? (CojoStyle)
The 90′s are back and your local arena’s got ‘em! (DailyStab)
Now THAT is a funny caption (DListed)
Yeah, but do they KEEP it down? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Harry Hughini? (HaveUHeard)
Kiefer is coming! Kiefer is coming! (INeedMyFix)
The bodyguard shakedown breakdown (PoorBritney)
We ALL feel that way, honey (SeriouslyOMG)

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Fashion term of the day: Mullet Dress

Actress Jessica Alba adjusts her dress during the Machete red carpet at the 67th Venice Film Festival September 1, 2010. The world's oldest film festival opened September 1 and closes on September 11. REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi  (ITALY - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT)

Today we learn a new term from our friends at Celebitchy: Mullet Dress. As shown here on Jessica Alba, it describes a gown that says Party in the front, Tragedy in the back. Doesn’t she just look like a prom-themed novelty stripper caught on a loose nail halfway through “November Rain?” That’s not the look you’re going for, generally speaking. Also, she needs to pee really, really badly.

Jessica Alba arriving for the premiere of 'Machete' during the 67th Venice International Film Festival (Mostra) at the Sala Grande Palazzo, in Venice, Italy on September 1, 2010. Photo by Nicolas Briquet/ABACAPRESS.COM Photo via Newscom

Hot Tub Hobo! (raincoaster)
Meryl “The Silencer” Streep (Ayyyy)
Director Wars 3-D! (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan goes to war (AllieIsWired)
Gay war on gay spies is so gay! (TheAwl)
For god’s sake, Kellan, put on some armor! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Debuting the Kim Kardashian line of spiked breastplate (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Michael Bay launches attack on Bosnia (CelebritySmack)
It’s Starlet vs Celebutante in the war of the column inches! (CityRag)
Jessica Alba’s feet taken prisoner (CojoStyle)
Hunk-off! McConaughey vs Phillipe! (HaveUHeard)
Yoko attacks your ears (INeedMyFix)
The War on Drugs is over (PerezHilton)
Blogger vs blogger over Britney! (PoorBritney)

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Phoebie Price reaches for the stars!

Mary Carey and Phoebe Price outside the Voyeur club in West Hollywood after attending a celeb-packed party

Or maybe just the nearest heavenly body?

Patrick Kim McDermott’s Return from Xanadu (TrueSlant)

Robert Downey Junior’s Rehab Blues (Lolebrity)

Who is dating Kate Hudson? (Dealbreaker)

Figwit 2.0 (AgentBedhead)

Lady Gaga is okay with it (AllieIsWired)

Heidi, ho? (AmyGrindhouse)

Baby, Daddy (BusyBeeBlogger)

The shoes of a style icon (CeleBitchy)

Fanorexia kills (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Celebrity Foot Abuse! (CelebritySmack)

Lend Me a Seeing Eye Dog say the Olsen Twins (DailyStab)

Save the society columnist! (Gawker)

Is! Nothing! Sacred! (DListed)

Straight men skip this post (EvilBeet)

Tia Carrere is on the market! (GabbyBabble)

Nic Cage wigs out (GoFugYourself)

Erin Andrews vs the Trolls (HaveUHeard)

Channing Tatum married a necrophiliac (INeedMyFix)

The REAL secret of American Idol (IBBB)

St. Brangelina in Bosnia (JustJared)

At last, a story we can ALL enjoy (LitelySalted)

The English Patient didn’t fly THAT airline (Movieline)

Jennifer Hudson now 30% off (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

I wouldn’t touch that bunny’s eggs with a ten foot pole (UKPopSugar)

Craig Ferguson’s robot skeleton sidekick (SeriouslyOMG)

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Hump Day Links: Pattinson Panties!

epic fail pictures

How can this be anything but WIN, unless you’re RPattz’s parents, that is?

Rachel vs House (Lolebrity)

Australia versus Versace (News)

“Pneumonia” is the new “exhaustion” (INO)

Vampires and the swine flu (JustJared)

Will Sandra Bullock take over the whole world? (Movieline)

Behold the sexiest man alive! (UKPopSugar)

Is this whole month a DON’T? (GraziaFashion)

Behind closed doors with Tom Cruise (PopBytes)

Too much to hope for? Miley Cyrus’ Last Song (SeriouslyOMG)

Ten’s Ten Sexiest Men (TenGossip)

Lindsay Lohan, grab bag lady (LitelySalted)

New Moon underwear wars (AgentBedhead)

Levi without his Levis (DailyStab)

Rachel Maddow <3 Sarah Palin (Gawker)

CourSem sez SamRo somethingorother LiLo (EvilBeet)

Harry Connick Jr has the filthiest look at a Christmas concert (GabbyBabble)

The Shoehan blog (Shoehans)

What Karl hates (CeleBitchy)

Taylor Lautner still hot, not legal (BusyBeeBlogger)

And this is why Canada rules hockey (BWE)

Stevie Wonder’s on Twitter! (CelebritySmack)

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Lapo and Bianca Getting Heired Out

Here are My Imaginary Boyfriend III, Fiat heir Lapo Elkann and his girlfriend, Bianca Brandolini d’Adda, two of the Official Beautiful Young (Rich) Things enjoying un apres-midi d’un fall in Washington Square Park, New York City:

Lapo Elkann and girlfriend in NYC

Well, that’s ONE way to fly under the kidnappers’ radar. All they need is the Olsen Twins and they’ll have enough for a spirited a round of Homeless or Hipster.

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Odd one out

Rest your weary head against me

All of us are valued invitees to the prestigious CDFA Fashion Awards, but can you tell which one is attempting to smuggle a king-size pillow into the proceedings?

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