Ayyyy!

Indiana Jones and the Fortress of Suckitude? (AgentBedhead)

Cindy Crawford and the Potion of Immortality (IBBB)

Ashley Olsen: “Small world, isn’t it?” Elizabeth Hurley: “Too small for the two of us” (CelebritySmack)

That woman is old enough to be your granddaughter, George Clooney! (DListed)

This is how we say goodbye in Hollywood (Defamer)

Throw me the American Idol pedo, I’ll throw you the whip (GabbyBabble)

Don’t call him Junior! RyRey and ScarJo may breed (DailyStab)

Don’t call Ryan Seacrest Junior either! Although he probably likes it when you do that (CandyKirby)

Hollywood snakes. Why’d it have to be Hollywood snakes? (Mollygood)

Tori Spelling looking rough: It’s not the years, it’s the mileage (ImNotObsessed)

Pubic lice. Why’d it have to be pubic lice? (raincoaster)

Nina Garcia sez: You can’t do this to me! I’m an American! (PerezHilton)

Indiana Jones and the Temple of LaBeoufcake (JustJared)

So once again, law enforcement, what was briefly yours is now ours. Welcome back, Wino (CeleBitchy)

Obama is allowing you to tag along. So why don’t you give your mouth a rest? Okay, doll? (Gawker)

David Blaine keeps his mouth shut for 17 minutes, 4 seconds longer than I thought he could (CeleBitchy)

Pink Floyd’s pig is an ironic cultural critic (SeriouslyOMG)

Gape at Christina Ricci’s long-lost twin! (CandyKirby)

Gasp at the humongous tips left by Johnny “Has-No-Human-Flaws” Depp (GabbyBabble)

Wipe that frown off your face with Frownies! (IBBB)

Ashley Olsen will show you her tiny gerbil teeth (CelebWarship)

Open wide, here it comes, Miley (PrettyOnTheOutside)

Katie Holmes soon to star in the Camp Gold Base Follies production of “The Day the Clown Cried” (AgentBedhead)

Gosling protests for poultry! (ICYDK)

Dr Teeth not included: Rocker stage name stories (Spinner)

Amy Winehouse has a love bite (PopSugar)

New York’s great eccentrics (Gawker)

The Curse of the Beautiful People! (Defamer)

Miley Cyrus seriously needs to keep her mouth shut (DailyStab)

Angelina wipes that smile off Gwyneth’s face (ImNotObsessed)

Paris Hilton’s boyfriend writes the soundtrack to her next cavity search (CelebritySmack)

Meet Your Master: New Nine Inch Nails single free for download tonight (TheRadReport)

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

Every day, every one, is exactly the same to Karl Lagerfeld (Gawker)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

The line begins to blur: Pulp Fiction, by William Shakespeare  (Metaquotes)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

Jessica Simpson’s ringfinger/finger ringer? (IBBB)

Guns ‘n Roses’ terrible (eternal) lie (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Connor Cruise doesn’t bite the hand that feeds (JustJared)

Head has, like, a hole: The Hoff has eye surgery (HolyMoly)

George Clooney’s bedroom habits (CelebuWreck)

Olsen fetus rocks the lamb fetus (IBBB)

Amy Winehouse celebrates 4:20 (CelebrityDirt)

Kate Hudson is ageing, should get her hands off my man (BittenAndBound)

James Bond’s car cannot swim (Jalopnik)

“Forbidden Kingdom” permitted (Defamer)

Texas Polygamist Wives Calendar (BestWeekEver)

Charlie Rose on Charlie Rose on the Internet by Samuel Beckett (Valleywag)

Ewan MacGregor’s daily grind (DailyStab)

Tom Cruise works it like it’s 1989 (AgentBedhead)

Disney Princes: rated R for “rawwwwr!” (TeenyManolo)

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James hit by drunk driver (CelebritySmack)

Lilo drunko, lezbo, yo (EvilBeet)

Pete Doherty may not be the world’s most responsible tenant. Shock! Horror! (CeleBitchy)

The Mona Lisa exploited! (Gawker)

McDreamy at Made of Honor premiere (JustJared)

DC is anti-fun! (PerezHilton)

Jen Aniston cheaps out on Oprah? (Mollygood)

The Hoff hassled to the tune of $25,000 per month Hasselmony (USAToday)

Vince Vaughn is the Flabby Flasher of Griffith Park (CelebSlam)

Akon guilty of criminal assault on the truth with intent to blow smoke up your ass (AgentBedhead)

Hollywood selling out (no, that’s not a tautology) (Derober)

The jailbird diaries of Pete Doherty (HolyMoly)

Britney’s Total Fitness? Somewhere between couch potato and Basset Hound (TheBlemish)

America’s Next Top Flight Attendant? (IBBB)

Gossip Wars: attack of the necroporn pimps! (Defamer)

Who is this “Dalai Lama” of whom you speak? (Gawker)

Scientology vs the Little Guy, round N+1 (XenuTV)

Naomi Campbell shuts barn door, gazes wistfully after horse (CelebritySmack)

Get M-K O’s look! Then, presumably, get much-needed corrective lenses (CircusHour)

Ashlee Simpson just isn’t worth it (DListed)

Cameron Diaz issues statement about the death of her father (CeleBitchy)

Johnny Depp will never work with Renee Zellweger again as long as he lives (DailyStab)

Blake, Incarcerated, Forgotten (TheSun)

Scarface (GabbyBabble)

Putin’s poontang  (BittenAndBound)

Victoria Beckham’s Pink Taco is 34? (JustJared)

This soooo better be in their new fashion collection because my demented grand-aunt would never have the creative foresight to make this kind of stuff for me. I can’t wait for when the cheap knockoffs hit the racks! This is fantastic news for all of us who’ve been looking for a way to keep wayward hair in place AND give the illusion of a frumpier figure. Soaks up vomit like a charm too, so we can drink as much we want!

The Hoff knows the mighty power of an 8 1/2 by 11 (Defamer)

Kimberly Stewart wears possibly the ugliest shoes the universe has ever seen (TheRadReport)

Katie needs a raise! (BittenAndBound)

Lindsay Lohan will NOT assume the missionary position (Yeeeeah)

David Beckham says his prayers (TheBlemish)

Jennifer Aniston’s Miss Havisham decorating scheme (POTP)

A little bit country, a little bit hip-hop, a LOT batshiat insane (ImNotObsessed)

Kelly Osborne, unmasked! (LARagMag)

Gentlemen, start your engines: Emma Watson is legal (Derober)

Tom Cruise will do anything for Becks, even endure soccer (DailyStab)

Mary-Kate Olsen celebrates New Year’s in April. Also, apparently, Halloween (JustJared)

Britney’s comeback plan (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Pete Doherty maintains personal hygiene in prison  (AgentBedhead)

Brangelina is a contraceptive (CeleBitchy)

Shirley Manson is a grown-up (CelebritySmack)

Tilda Swinton just as strange as imagined (CircusHour)

Liveblogging Sex with Sue (CandyKirby)

Gwyneth Paltrow is an alien (GoFugYourself)

RIP PawPaw (Gawker)

Drew Barrymore heckles for charity (WendyWayrad)

Naomi Campbell’s body fluids are felonious (CelebWarship)

Woody Harrelson is built, bald, and bare (Defamer)

Luciano Pavarotti pulled an Ashlee Simpson (Gawker)

What are the Presidential candidates like in bed? (TheStranger)

William and Harry react to the verdict in the Princess Diana inquest (PerezHilton)

Botox: it’s all about a jarring lack of self-awareness (CircusHour)

Demi Moore’s bloodsucking leeches (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Victoria Beckham attempting takeover of “Baby Spice” role (Mollygood)

Britney’s partner in fashion crime to be Christian Audigier (Styleguide)

The Britney-FedEx breakup starts a trend (ImNotObsessed)

Kate Moss weighs 98 pounds soaking wet: the proof! (ICYDK)

Like shooting fish in a barrel: Rob Lowe blackmailed! (HuffPo)

Kylie Minogue speaks out about breast cancer (CeleBitchy)

Whitney Houston’s boobs and Dionne Warwick’s face at Muhammad Ali’s Fight Night (Bossip)

Tom Ford is Gay James Bond (DListed)

Britney hitches her star to the comeback tour bus (CelebSlam)

Sharon Stone’s basic instinct is to keep her knees together, thankfully (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Hayden Panettiere terrifies a small child (WWTDD)

Jessica Alba wore black to her baby shower (DailyStab)

Ashlee Simpson vs Mariah Carey (Yeeeeah)

Vlad loves Georgie (KnowledgeIsPower)

Tony loves Georgie (raincoaster)

Stop Uwe Boll, save the world! (AgentBedhead)

V for Valtrex attends wedding (CelebritySmack)

Jackass demonstrates jackassery (GabbyBabble)

The Naughty outpulls the Nanny: Fran Drescher snubbed by paparazzi (TMZ)

What the Elle? (Yeeeeah)

DANNY BONADUCE MAKES TOTAL SENSE!!!!! (CelebritySmack)

Forget Waldo: where in the world is Suri? (Celebitchy)

Your heartbreaking Amy Winehouse pic o’ the day (CelebWarship)

Pete Doherty fan demonstrates British foreign policy at concert (HolyMoly)

Princess Kalina brings her baby back to Bulgaria (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian love triangle (CelebNewsWire)

The difference between Simon Cowell’s car and mine (CelebrityDirt)

Miley Cyrus as the Easter Bunny (CircusHour)

Hollywood’s biggest fashion offenders (DailyStab)

Kate Beckinsale’s fugu phobia (PerezHilton)

The end of civilization as we know it, and it’s Paris Hilton’s fault (Mollygood)

Nothing is sacred to Disney (Dlisted)

Bruce Willis will moisten a bitch! (ICYDK)

Twelve greatest opening credits in history (AgentBedhead)

Nicole Kidman’s Botox cannot hide her excitement (Defamer)

Jesus died on the cross so you would tip your damn barista (Jezebel)

How to be a YouTube superstar (Gawker)

Patrick Swayze’s dismal diagnosis (Defamer)

The 5 best faces of Patrick Swayze in Ghost (BWE)

50 gayest songs of all time (SameSame)

Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz are dancing, but who’s the fool? (AgentBedhead)

Salma Hayek prefers boys. Sorry Penny! (Dlisted)

Catherine Zeta Jones has some body image issues (GabbyBabble)

Demi Moore allegedly does not? There’s no justice! (CelebritySmack)

Conflicted Matthew McConaughey designs the very t-shirts he spurns (E!)

The Amy Winehouse soap opera continues apace (Yeeeeah)

Mary-Kate Olsen better keep her monkey paws off mah mayun! (Star)

Daniel Radcliffe faces serious death threats, gets SAS guards (Celebitchy)

Shar Jackson sticks up for FedEx (Bossip)

The Anna Nicole Smith movie: words fail (JustJared)

Julia Roberts and Ozzy Osbourne? (Cityrag)

Smells like…Daddy’s concert! (CelebNewsWire)

Best comedy of the last 30 years is…a joke! (HolyMoly)

Lily Allen is hospitalized for depression (EvilBeet)

Ben Stiller is pumped, Robert Downey Jr is black. Huh? (DailyStab)

Jessica Alba discovers esoteric French cuisine: the ham and cheese sandwich (Dlisted)

RIP Gary Gygax (TeenyManolo)

JLo and Marc Anthony are so over doing it (DailyStab)

Liev Schrieber is a sexy supervillain (Derober)

Rosie O’Donnell: a portrait of the artist as a pile of junk food (AgentBedhead)

Nicole beats Xtina in the Mommystakes (CelebritySmack)

Jessica Alba is turning into JLo: Oh No! (IBBB)

Paris Hilton’s Buddhist holy man is unholy sham (GoneHollywood)

Vanessa Hudgens gets her drink, arrest on (BackseatCuddler)

Madonna and Demi Moore’s Oscar party candids (Defamer)

20 stupidest faces of Patrick Swayze, and that’s some tough competition (BWE)

Jeremy Piven parties with geeks (Gawker)

Famous writers as children (SomethingAwful)

The Project Runway guide to New York (Gridskipper)

Celebrities without necks (Celebitchy)

Pete Doherty … nah, I can’t say THAT! (Celebwarship)

Mac Guy sez Charlie’s Angel smells heavenly (ImNotObsessed)

There IS no tomorrow for Paula Abdul (ICYDK)

Mary-Kate Olsen’s face approaching Joan Rivers territory (Cityrag)

KFed is fat. Word. The word is “Fat.” (Yeeeeah)

Jamie Lee Curtis is not afraid of Jason, not afraid of Freddy Krueger, and she’s sure as HELL not afraid of a little constipation (GlitteratiGossip)

Ryan Seacrest’s shameful, secret passion for Simon Cowell (AgentBedhead)

Johnny Depp, The Hoff, and the Demon Barber Chair of Fleet Street (Celebitchy)

RIP blues guitarist Jeff Healey (EW)

Marion Cotillard says she was misquoted (Dlisted)

Accidents and babydaddy uncertainty are all in the family: the Spears family (Celebslam)

Angelina Jolie cannot be unsexed (Cityrag)

Scarlett Johansson auctions herself off (ImNotObsessed)

George Clooney doesn’t need no stinking swag bag (Gabsmash)

Sienna Miller loves coke (Ninjadude)

Olsen Twins’s book leaked! (236)

Kate Moss demoted (Popsugar)

Oprah is such a giver (IBBB)

Elle MacPherson shows off her lingerie line (CelebritySmack)

Prince Harry is a cunning linguist (CircusHour)

Sandra Bernhard supports a losing cause (AwfulPlasticSurgery)

Jamie-Lynn is expecting a boy, massive publicity (CelebrityBabyScoop)