It’s Emma Thompson to the rescue! Here she demonstrates that she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty when the mission calls for her to intervene in the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes media war. Ms Thompson provided crucial assistance at locating Mister Cruise’s head and removing it from its hiding place in time for the court appearance.
Not even seasoned pro SuperSuri can keep a straight face under these circumstances. While Tom is not wearing his hat indoors (a privilege reserved for the ladies) he is still putting his foot in it (and a nice chapeau is no place for a pied) by wearing the universal symbol for “I have hair plugs” while in the pool. Remember the defense offered by the British officer caught starkers while chasing a giggling blonde down a hotel hallway: “A gentleman should always be attired in the uniform appropriate to the activity in which he is engaged.”
The defense was successful, by the way, which this Trunks and Topper ensemble is not.
The Royal Wedding entrance like none other. My shameful past as a Prince Andrew fangirl with full-on subscriptions to Majesty AND The Royals comes out as I say the Princess Ann and Camilla lookalikes are really startlingly good, but the emo cynic within me comes out when I note that even the fake Prince Harry has way more fun than the fake Prince William, who has way more fun than either of the real ones.
Now, let’s toast these glorious ersatzii with (what else?) a Buck’s Fizz and some common gossip links.
Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)
Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)
Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)
Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)
And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)
And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)
Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)
NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)
Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)
Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)
Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)
JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)
Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)
Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)
Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)
Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)
Happy 80th Birthday to Leonard Freaking Nimoy! You’ll always be a week and a day younger than William Shatner!
Now I think I’ll carefully sip a thimbleful of Romulan Ale in his honour.
Gramps Gets Down! (raincoaster)
This is why the pinkos never win (Lolebrity)
Sophia Loren tries out a new look (ManoloFood)
That’s my dating life sorted then! (AgentBedhead)
Blind Item Egoist! Let me guess: Prince Philip? (BusyBeeBlogger)
It’s a dog’s life. Meanwhile, I stay in Motel 6 (CelebDirtyLaundry)
It’s Tween vs Tween! (CelebritySmack)
Angelina to step into Dame Elizabeth’s sandals (CelebVIPLounge)
Sean Penn gets made over (CityRag)
Khloe Kardashian Kovers Kosmopolitan (DailyStab)
Lilo doesn’t look a day over 40 (FitFabCeleb)
James Franco: we get the public intellectuals we deserve (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Preppy label amputates model’s arm! (HaveUHeard)
Britney, Jackass, the jokes write themselves (HollywoodHiccups)
Do YOU have what it takes to be a Torontonian? (INeedMyFix)
Kingston Rossdale is a playa! (MathewGuiver)
Enrique can’t out-diva Britney (PoorBritney)
Judge Judy’s oral issue (Radar)
Now HERE Is some decorative royalty! (SwoonWorthy)
Tom and Katie have a time machine, apparently (TheSkinnyChic)
So Liv Tyler and Jimmy Fallon get in a time machine… (SeriouslyOMG)
Now with added flaming dice goodness!
The Julian Assange coloring book (raincoaster)
It! Is! Time! (Ayyyy)
King of the Road (Manolofood)
Chuck Norris fears this man (Lolebrity)
Interview with raincoaster (SurveyMagnet)
Beastie Boys beat 2010 (AgentBedhead)
Owen Wilson…daddy? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Demi Lovato morphing into Demi Moore? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Natalie Portman is a cannibal! (CeleBitchy)
Hold it against Britney (CelebritySmack)
Michael Douglas has left Tumortown (DailyStab)
Famous people: VERY different from you and me (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Natalie Portman in World’s Ugliest Maternity Dress (HaveUHeard)
The verdict on holding it against Britney (PoorBritney)
Who invited TomKat? (PopBytes)
Mila Kunis gets real about weight (TheSkinny)
Empress Gaga? President Gaga? (EvilBeet)
Victoria Beckham to switch to flats in 6 months or so (GabbyBabble)
Trailer parks of the world wild for Bieber, apparently (FitFabCeleb)
Sy-Phillis! Cloris Leachman`s talent is contagious! (Movieline)
The Sex Pistols have released a new fragrance.
Resisting tradition, fighting conformity and disregarding aromatic conventions it leaves a fresh, restless bite of lemon, sharpened and intensified by a defiant black pepper. Electrified by aldehydes, the fragrance exudes pure energy, pared down and pumped up by leather, shot through with heliotrope and brought back down to earth by a raunchy patchouli.
As well as a strong scent, the bottle also makes a bold impression, with its iconic graphic inspired by the front cover of the single ‘God Save the Queen’ released in 1977.
Kill me now.
Who John Cusack is NOT dating (raincoaster)
Saturday Caption Contest: Royalty in 3D! (Ayyyy)
Anarchy in the UK! (Manolofood)
The derivation of Anna Wintour (Lolebrity)
Tom Cruise, size queen (AgentBedhead)
DArquette in Miami (BusyBeeBlogger)
The Situation is…desperate (CeleBitchy)
How many divorces can you get at one time? (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Heidi Klum gave the paps the slip (CojoStyle)
The Greatest Musical Event of Our Time occurred (DailyStab)
Canada stops for Cookie Time (DListed)
Katy Perry dressed up as a toilet roll cover for the AMA’s (HaveUHeard)
Justin Bieber’s Usher innuendo (INeedMyFix)
The Britney Debate rages on (PoorBritney)
Brendan Fraser’s special effects (SeriouslyOMG)