Archive - Tom Cruise RSS Feed

Hump Day Links: Tom Cruise Edition

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, but I have my reasons.

Tom Cruise would be quite tolerable if he'd only keep his mouth shut

Tommy Boy may be as nutty as a Sandra Lee-inspired fruitcake, but he sure is pretty! I’d join him for a Risky Business Cocktail any time (if only to keep his mouth full so he couldn’t talk).

Joel is no mystery man (raincoaster)
Gary Oldman, man of a thousand grooming choices (Lolebrity)
Nigella Lawson and John Cusack would be a dream couple (Manolofood)
Norman Mailer and a poodle (Ayyyy)
Ewww, Simon Cowell arms! (AgentBedhead)
Whut up, Don Draper? (BusyBeeBlogger)
Mariah, that’s not very flattering to your husband (CeleBitchy)
Two and a Half Times as much Idiocy (CelebDirtyLaundry)
The Addams Family paints the town black (CityRag)
Who’s Sari Now? (CojoStyle)
The 90′s are back and your local arena’s got ‘em! (DailyStab)
Now THAT is a funny caption (DListed)
Yeah, but do they KEEP it down? (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Harry Hughini? (HaveUHeard)
Kiefer is coming! Kiefer is coming! (INeedMyFix)
The bodyguard shakedown breakdown (PoorBritney)
We ALL feel that way, honey (SeriouslyOMG)

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Friday Caption Contest Results: Roundup Edition

Don’t forget to enter our current cravatian caption contest! Win undying fame and valuable, completely imaginary prizes!

Catching up on the caption contests from oldest to newest, we have the dolorous Dorothy Parker, downcast at news her beloved Algonquin had gone corporate.

Dolorous Dottie Parker

renalfailure Says:
September 21st, 2010 at 11:52 am

“I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane…”

Congratulations and imaginary swag to renalfailure, who I believe is a first-time winner. To him we shall present nothing less than The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker

The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker

Moving on, we’ve got the … uh … colourful pairing of Bootsy Collins and Tommy Davison, to change the mood a little.

ATLANTA - NOVEMBER 03:  Comedian Tommy Davison and Musician Bootsy Collins attend the 2009 Soul Train Awards at the Georgia World Congress Center on November 3, 2009 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images)

archiearchive Says:
September 27th, 2010 at 8:09 pm

I hope we are doing this in the right sequince

It’s not the first time Archie’s puns have brought him blog glory and imaginary riches. To him, we award the imaginary glory of the hypothetical possession of this all-too-real bling phone, with a price tag of a mere £5million or so.

Blingphone

Blingphone

And finally, we present the winner of last week’s caption contest: the Shadow of a Superstar Edition:

Tom Cruise's shadow is actually quite short

Manolo the Shoeblogger Says:
October 9th, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Finally, Tom Cruise has achieved the Operating Thetan Level One Million!

Yeah, yeah, he signs my paycheques, but I defy you not to give it to The Boss this week! For his hypothetical prize, we’ll award him … hmmm, this is like figuring out what to give the boss for Christmas. Well, we know he likes shoes, but I’m not about to pick out a pair for the world’s top shoeblogger, in case the website gets hacked and someone puts up Crocs in their stead (in related news, if you enjoy cheap laughs, DO cruise through Ed Hardy at Zappos.com). Instead, we’ll offer this impeccable Ferrari 365 GTS/4 Daytona Spider, and not JUST because we’re buttering him up.

Although mostly.

I'll have one myself, if the Car Fairy is listening

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Friday Caption Contest: Shadow of a Superstar edition

Do your best/worst to Katie and her shadow husband in the comments section.

katie holmes in tom cruises shadow

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

TomKat Strut

TomKat Strut right into the waiting vanO! The possibilities with this one. “Katie Holmes auditions for Flashdance 2: Bedazzled Boogaloo!” “Cruise and Holmes tape special on the tragic impact of global warming on the international ice dancing industry.” Or, my favorite, “Area man leads befuddled Twilight fan into waiting ambulance.”

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Hump Day Links: Michael J Fox vs Marty McFly edition

Michael J Fox Marty McFly

Wow. Real life wins, for once.

[If you're a gossip blogger who'd rather be drinking than linking, drop me an email at raincoaster at gmail dot com. I'm offering an affordable new link outsourcing service.]

Elizabeth Taylor vs Plastic Grrl! (TrueSlant)

Gaga, Grounded (Lolebrity)

Zee Frenssssh! (TheManolo)

This has GOT to be some horrible Freudian metaphor (ManoloHome)

Terror in the Kitchen! (ManoloFood)

About that bottle of Scotch… (ManoloBig)

Buddy got back (problems)? (ManoloMen)

Hit the Target! (TeenyManolo)

Hamlet would not have married her (ManoloBrides)

Jonah, Hexed (AgentBedhead)

Robert Pattinson CARES about us! (AmyGrindhouse)

Amy Winehouse, drama queen? (BricksAndStones)

Clive Owen smells (BusyBeeBlogger)

OK! is a comedy magazine? (CeleBitchy)

The Bride of Wildenstein (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

We have a Gaga DOWN! Repeat: we have a Gaga DOWN! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

ONE LiLo is quite sufficient, thank you (CelebritySmack)

A dandy reason to hang out in cafes (OhTheScandal)

Suri’s tribal tattoos (CityRag)

Not all royals have British Teeth (CojoStyle)

Jimmy Buffet is pro-Margarita, anti-Oilspill (DailyStab)

Five bucks on Sarah Jessica Parker’s twins (DListed)

Daniel Radcliffe does not fancy the Bieber (EvilBeet)

You do NOT go up against Oprah, my friend. (GabbyBabble)

Maybe she could just use the eyeshadow on her legs? (GoFugYourself)

I suspect Gaga (HaveUHeard)

Prince Albert locked down (INeedMyFix)

I’m ok, Britney’s a nutbar? (PoorBritney)

The Hills are alive with the sound of recaps (IBBB)

Ke$ha <3 Star Trek (JustJared)

10 greatest Real Worlders (MovieLine)

George Michael goes Down Under to come out on top (PerezHilton)

RPatz seen with Banksy ex (UKPopSugar)

I think Madame Tussaud’s just “repurposed” the Delta Burke statue (PopBytes)

The man dates Katy Perry: he’s never SEEN those before (SeriouslyOMG)

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Britney’s Rigging Links

Britney's pink panties

So she’s wearing underwear you can see through her dress, that hideous orange-red lipstick I already blogged about, and Uggs. Trying to look on the bright side: thank GOD she is wearing underwear.

Lock this man up immediately! (Lolebrity)

Red Shoes Diary? (TheManolo)

Fake Furniture? (ManoloHome)

Womb with a view (to controversy) (ManoloBig)

Should In-Laws be outlawed? (ManoloBrides)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Antonio Banderas vs Stephen Moyer (TeenyManolo)

Hitler would have LOVED the Bieb! (AgentBedhead)

We’ll never know what Willis was talking about now (AmyGrindhouse)

Kristen Davis abandons Manolo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Sandra Bullock has superpowers (CeleBitchy)

Britney time travels to 1972 (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Cynthia Nixon has three lemons, and one’s not in her bodice (CojoStyle)

The Serbian Justin Bieber (DListed)

Girl, this isn’t a move UP (GabbyBabble)

Tom Cruise, nobody wants your risky business anymore (HaveUHeard)

Cloris Leachman for safe sex, doggy-style (INeedMyFix)

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

National Movie Award Red Carpet, Red Faces?

National Movie Awards 2010 - Red Carpet Arrivals

At the National Movie Awards last night, Gwyneth Paltrow is as pleased as punch that she scored a Judy Jetson dress the exact colour of Tahitian Treat.

National Movie Awards 2010 - Red Carpet Arrivals

I think she’s got it on backwards, actually.

National Movie Awards - Inside Arrivals

TomKat is also all smiles, because they know they saved a bundle by buying that dress for $12 at H&M.

Wait, back up. Let’s get some celebrity reaction shots to that hot pink mess of Paltrow’s:

National Movie Awards 2010 - Winners Boards


Emma Watson.

National Movie Awards 2010 - Winners Boards

Kylie Minogue.

National Movie Awards in London


Tom Cruise.

And

National Movie Awards in London


Chris Rock, my imaginary boyfriend (#12 So far.).

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Monday Man Links

Let’s start the week right with some eye candy, shall we? Presenting Prince Hot Ginge:

Photo by: KGC107/starmaxinc.com 2010 5/7/10 Prince Harry at a presentation of Flying Badg

As Borat would say, “verrrrry niiiiiiiiice!” The great thing about uniforms is, if they look bad the entire country complains about them until they get fixed; in a way, it’s sort of crowdsourcing design. Yes, there are practical considerations to which one must Iraqiesce. Sure, it may never be as sleek as if Hedi Slimane got his hands on it, but on the plus side, most of the recruits would be able to fit into the uniforms without contracting cosmetic tuberculosis first.

Sami Salo’s Internet Celebrity Takes Balls (True/Slant)

Nicole Kidman can’t exorcise the ghost of Tom Cruise (Lolebrity)

Red Sole Diaries (TheManolo)

The Death of Cute (TheBigGirls)

Jennifer Aniston’s baby food consequences (TeenyManolo)

These crazy kids! (ManoloHome)

Happy Mother of the Bride Day (ManoloBrides)

Henry Rollins is outed! (AgentBedhead)

RIP Lena Horne (AmyGrindhouse)

Betty White OWNs Saturday Night (BusyBeeBlogger)

Heidi Klum wants into your closet! (CeleBitchy)

You’re the man now, Chaz! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Jessica Simpson is wrapped like a Mother’s Day pressie (CelebritySmack)

World’s crispiest hair spotted in New York (DailyStab)

Old Person wins Gaga fight (Gawker)

Kristen Stewart goes through Elle (HaveUHeard)

Minnie Driver’s baby will KILL YOU (INeedMyFix)

Bristols for Babies! I mean against! Oh it’s so hard to keep track! (IBBB)

I…I don’t think I want to KNOW what a “Pob” is, let alone watch one (UKPopSugar)

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine

Page 2 of 16«12345»10...Last »