Seriously, two Strongbows and I was down for the count. My liver’s gotten soft during the dry spell. As a proud Irish-Canuck, I’m mortified. But, of course, as a proud Canuck, I can always get another liver for free.

Trent Reznor is nervous (AgentBedhead)

Instead of watching television, you could just watch really, really stupid people all the time (AmyGrindhouse)

Lohan banned (BusyBeeBlogger)

Rihanna recovers from apparent temporary brain injury (CeleBitchy)

Bruno is out (CelebritySmack)

Blog commenters have more sex (Gawker)

Which reminds me, have you commented in the caption contest yet? (TeenyManolo)

or the Celebrity Dad Faceoff? (TeenyManolo)

Johnny Depp saves lives? (EvilBeet)

Jamie-Lynn Spears is legal! (DListed)

U2′s latest charity case (CelebuWreck)

Kylie is an unnatural beauty (GabbyBabble)

Getting it too right (GoFugYourself)

Robert Pattinson a dick at Dicks on Dicks (INO)

Ashton Kutcher topless and…and who cares what else? (JustJared)

Announcing the best chest in the world (raincoaster)

Hollywood’s golden couple reunites (SeriouslyOMG)

The Jade Goody retrospective (UKPopSugar)

Why has Jamie Oliver got it in for Bob Geldof? (HolyMoly)

Kristen Stewart talks about some howlers (TenGossip)

Seth Rogen will make the little babies cry (Websters)

I’ll get healthy if it kills me! Have I said that before? What do you expect, I’m utterly stoned on flu medicine! In any case, that great theory about spinach, that you can put it in anything because it doesn’t have any flavour? Is a myth. My mouth has an aftertaste known only to raw vegan extremists and pedigreed racehorses.

Skittles Vodka: just shoot it (BWE)

Hugh can do it (AgentBedhead)

Miley? Can sue it! (AmyGrindhouse)

He knew it! (AprilWinchell)

Beth Ditto just nudes it (CelebWarship)

Mickey Rourke talks sh*t (CelebritySmack)

Jane Krakowski’s cans can’t (CelebuWreck)

Barrymore on Grant? (CandyKirby)

Britney on Trent? (GabbyBabble)

Jessica splits her pants (CeleBitchy)

Courtney Love, heirophant (GoFugYourself)

All hail Tina Fey (EvilBeet)

A new job for Aubrey O’Day (DailyStab)

Peck or Sidney Poitier? (TeenyManolo)

Celebrate the Harriet Carter way (IBBB)

Heidi Klum’s got tubby, eh? (DListed)

Someone’ll get it from Michael Bay (Defamer)

Gwyneth will get it from Oprah Winfrey (Defamer as well, this was too good to skip)

Announcing James Roday (SeriouslyOMG)

Lily Allen’s overexposed tittay (Websters)

Blogs invaded by Jordan’s Peter Andre (UKPopSugar)

Ivana Trump goes on holiday (HolyMoly)

and this concludes our rhyming-on-flu-meds experiment for this evening.

This has nothing to do with patriotism and everything to do with Campari and red vermouth in a tall glass with a lot of ice, a twist of orange peel, and a sizzle of soda. Thanks to the day I had, it may have everything to do with several of them!

RuPaul, Heather Locklear, separated at birth? (WOWReport)

PerezHilton on minute 14.5 (Websters)

Kathy Griffin is being sent to her room (ASL)

Before they were famous: Al Pacino (SeriouslyOMG)

Celebrity Twinsies (GiggleSugar)

Topless and wet! (UKPopSugar)

24 slideshow (HolyMoly)

Topless and wet times TWO! (Defamer)

Dakota Fanning: mini actress, mini dress (JustJared)

SJP looking to bolt? (PopBytes)

RIP Mouseketeer Cheryl (JanetCharltonsHollywood)

Britney’s New Year’s date (IBBB)

Lily Allen insists she has a talent! (ImNotObsessed)

Porn industry going down for last time? (CandyKirby)

Kate Moss beer belly or baby belly? (CelebWarship)

Katie Holmes visibly off her “vitamins” (GoFugYourself)

Hugh Jackman in leather (CelebritySmack)

Pete Wentz, Ambient music icon (CeleBitchy)

Santa Reznor brings gifts on Epiphany (AgentBedhead)

Let’s just say it’s been one of those days. Actually, it’s been two of those da- make that “one of those weeks.” And it’s still only Thursday morning!

Vote for me! (ShortyAwards)

Nine Inch Noels (AgentBedhead)

Obama Bogarts (CeleBitchy)

Eddie Murphy gives Batman the kiss of death (CelebritySmack)

Jeremy Piven leaves Broadway for career as thermometer (DailyStab)

YOU don’t know how much Will Smith gave to Scientology. I DO!!!! (Defamer)

ScarJo donates bodily excretions instead (DListed)

What happened to Jenny McCarthy? (HolyMoly)

Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway team up to induce diabetes (ImNotObsessed)

Separated at Birth, the Royal Edition (ASL)

Yes, Men, No, Zooey (EvilBeet)

Jennifer Aniston thrilled about upcoming Cougar Birthday (GabbyBabble)

The Invasion of Chynna (CandyKirby)

Suri is riding dirty (IBBB)

Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite holiday recipes (JustJared)

Ben @ tha UN (PopSugar)

Strippers set up swordsman (CBC)

Trent Reznor has had enough of you (AgentBedhead)

Marilyn Manson’s new rent-a-chick exposed (CelebWarship)

TR Knight is outta Grey’s (CeleBitchy)

Ricky Martin shows off the twins (CelebrityBabyScoop)

Santa’s looking for work (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

Audrina Patridge finally earns an entry on ayyyy (CelebritySmack)

Are  you calling in Gay? (DListed)

Jessica Biel can crack eggs with her sheer hotness (EvilBeet)

Karl’s nursery rhymes (FakeKarl)

Socialites of the world, unite! (GhostOfAFlea)

Helen Hunt is turning into Jodie Foster before our very eyes! (IBBB)

Brad is a lover, not a fighter (PopSugar)

Because if you can’t afford a fireplace the next best thing is a pot of smoky Russian Caravan and a book of ghost stories on a cold night. Or Trent Reznor. Trent Reznor is good on a cold night…or so I’ve heard!

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Clark Gable vs Jimmy Stewart (TeenyManolo)

ScarJo rocks the Mother Of The Bride look (Websters)

Amy Winehouse is back to the salt mines (SocialiteLife)

Boy George really DID want to hurt him (CeleBitchy)

Search for the real killers interrupted for next 33 years (SeriouslyOMG)

Justice for Cate Blanchett (PopBytes)

Anna Wintour still destroying the dreams of America’s best and brightest (WizBangPop)

George Clooney, Socialite for Africa (UKPopSugar)

Queen Oprah crowned (PerezHilton)

Nicole Kidman is stuck on Sunday (ImNotObsessed)

Full House refilled (IBBB)

Clay Aiken does not <3 Kathy Griffin (CandyKirby)

Jamie Lynn Spears’s doctor sucks (GabbyBabble)

The reports of the death of the gossip blogosphere have been greatly exaggerated (EvilBeet)

Yet another reason to hate Katherine Heigl (Defamer)

Bettie Page had a heart attack! (CelebritySmack)

Pete=Pete?!?!?!?! (AgentBedhead)

It’s the last days of summer, so get your patio drinks and girly salads while you can!

Nine Inch Fails (Lolebrity)

50 cent truly worth about that much (AgentBedhead)

Victoria Beckham to make available to fans all that food she doesn’t eat (DailyStab)

Presidential O-Faces (CandyKirby)

Canuck Hayden Christensen takes “American” lessons (JustJared)

Madonna takes her house husband out for a treat (IBBB)

The Curse of Clooney (Mollygood)

The Curse of Jessica (Websters)

Drunk celebrities! (CityRag)

Kanye kant kope (CeleBitchy)

Barbara Walters promises to care for her slaves (DListed)

Tyler Perry, decoded (Defamer)

Dolly Parton to the rescue! (WOWReport)

Rebecca Romijn takes the baby bump for a walk (GabbyBabble)

Americans can now get into Kate Moss’s pants (PopSugar)

Kiefer kant keep sekrets (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Larry Birkhead is not proud (TMZ)

Most generous celebrities (HollywoodBackwash)

Surprisingly, Amy Winehouse does not appear to be improving (Yeeeeah)

Pete Wentz does his David Soul pornalike impression (SeriouslyOMG)

Suri has a muneez (Lolebrity)

Richard Simmons is a man’s man (Websters)

Guyliner goes mainstream (AgentBedhead)

Eyeliner works wonders (DailyStab)

Lance Armstrong comes out…of relationship (CelebritySmack)

Janice Dickinson, hot tranny mess (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Tranny or Trash: YOU decide! (CandyKirby)

Britney’s new friend is hung like a horse (IBBB)

New Trannie Barbies: Xtina and Eva (ImNotObsessed)

Ashley Tisdale trawls for tuna (JustJared)

Paris Hilton, cobbler to the creme de la creme of drag performers (Mollygood)

So then, what does Tony Romo get if he wins MVP? (PopSugar)

NIN, straight up (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

America’s Got Confusion: there are professional Ozzy Osbourne impersonators? (Defamer)

Morrissey invades Israel (Gawker)

____er ____ed for ****ing in ___ (Radar)

Flannel-shirted Miley Cyrus will NOT kiss a girl! (CeleBitchy)

Tom Cruise no longer a mama’s boy? (InTouch)

Amy Winehouse is a vampire (DListed)