Ayyyy!

Mr. Seizler gets schooled by HSH Princess Stephanie of Monaco at the 34th International Circus Festival in Monte-Carlo.

Later that night after the obligatory Champagne, audience members found themselves asking themselves ou sont les pink elephants d’antan?

Oh, hang on. I think I remember that movie.

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Heading up the category of “about bloody time” here is the immortally sexy and always well-dressed (in absentminded Ivy League professor style) Sam Waterson, favorite of fanfic writers everywhere, getting his long-overdue star on the Walk of Fame.

Do your best/worst in the comments to caption this beauteous picture of feminine grace and win a fabulous, completely imaginary prize. And then you can click here and enter a contest with an ACTUAL physically real prize (sorry, greater LA area only).

Sophie, Countess of Wessex (who’s married to Prince Edward, you know, the one who “enjoys theatrical people”) is questioned outside Sandringham church about the mysterious disappearance of the altar flower arrangement. She had no comment about that or the missing wheat wreath from the door except to say “Camilla was hungry.”

Once and future stripper Carmen Electra displays a certain lack of understanding when it comes to photo-ops with the host. Even when the hosts are imaginary (perhaps particularly when the hosts are imaginary, the stars of a children’s show, and have invited you, a former stripper) one must be gracious and not crowd them out of the shot.

Everyone knows the Red Queen’s had a bit of work done, sure. But did you know she’s been at the forefront of celebrity fashion trends for more than a century?

Women have come a long way from the 80’s. No more are they enslaved and relegated to set dressing status. Nowadays they are liberated from the domination of lounge lizardish lead singers, Cruella deVil maquillage…

skirts…