Builder of Planned Parenthood Project in Portland Pulls Out

God, it just makes me proud to work in “new media.”

Blaaaaake, Incarcerated for two more years (CelebritySmack)

The Pope finds your lack of faith disturbing (Lolebrity)

Patrick Swayze is immortal! (DListed)

Courtney Love is such a joker! (AgentBedhead)

No, really, she is (Gawker)

We need to set her up with these guys (CandyKirby)

Jessica Simpson is just like you, haters! (DailyStab)

The Chosen Twins spotted! (BauerGriffin)

Heidi Montag shipped to Iraq (JustJared)

Catastrophe on the set of “&” (Defamer)

Someone airlift Claudia Schiffer out of there before it’s too late (GoFugYourself)

If you turn your wife into you, is that self-abuse? (GabbyBabble)

Sean Connery thinks, strangely enough, that his grown son should get a job (CeleBitchy)

Dance like nobody’s watching…because if you’re Dina Lohan, it’s true! (IBBB)

Lindsay Lohan is a sellout (Websters)

Blogger donates kidney, liveblogs it (Mollygood)

Gwyneth’s so British she has a double-decker stroller (PopSugar)

Janet Jackson’s nipple not worth a half-million dollars (SeriouslyOMG)

Gore Vidal will have none of your nonfiction-worship, heathens! (Radar)

Katie Holmes goes shopping for an American Girl (WizbangPop)

Steve Guttenberg wants your answers, and he wants them now even if it means having to savagely beat them out of you. But Steve is also merciful and is not above dropping hints like 100 pound anvils on your head:
1. Three of the females have been romantically linked to the same guy
2. One is a fashion icon, another is a pretend fashion icon
3. One was protecting his pregnant wife
4. One is married to an Oscar winner, another was married to an Oscar winner
5. Two are throwing food items
6. Five are musicians

but where do they unplug?

Mischa, sugarlump, I feel your pain. The Daily Mail used a picture of your backside to illustrate “the modern hell of cellulite” and that sucks. But don’t worry baby, it happens to everyone (wow, I’ve never said that before and meant it, I feel so free! -ed.) My own personal thighs look like two topographical maps of Norway.  Since I’m older than you, I feel it’s my duty and privilege to share with you my time-tested cure for the dimples of doom.

They’re called “pants.”

Can you tell that Jake Busey, son of Gary, is mighty ticked off?  I’m almost certain that it has to do with his outrage at the shockingly ineffectual welfare system as pertaining to single-mother households.  Although there is a slight chance that he’s merely annoyed by the substandard quality of hairpieces on the shelves behind him, and while we’re at it let’s not rule out an excruciating toothache either (who knows how temperamental those Busey teeth can get?).

Because it would be really wrong for me to make fun of True Whitaker, the comparatively-normal-named child (siblings include Sonnet and Ocean) of Forest Whitaker if she’s just a kid.

So instead of making all sorts of comments like how it looks like Candy Spelling bought an entire wilderness preserve stocked with 80′s film extras, hired Dolce and Gabbana to hunt them down, make outfits out of their tanned hides and pose them in life-like positions in her much lauded gift-wrapping room, I will just point your attention to the fact that it looks that the cow and the chicken on the Farm Sanctuary logo are totally about to make out. Hott.

Here are the answers to Monday’s puzzle corner:
1. Napoleon Dynamite
2. Back to the Future
3. Footloose
4. Carrie
5. Pretty in Pink
6. Peggy Sue Got Married
7. Grease
8. Never Been Kissed
9. Valley Girl
10. Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

Congratulations to miss dove for a perfect score, followed closely by Pencils and Jennie.  We reverentially place the crown on your head and unanimously hail the Prom Movie Queen!  Now, just sit back on your confetti-strewn throne and enjoy the highly synchronised prom dancing from She’s All That: