Horse of the Rings

Oh, Viggo. We always knew you loved horses, but we didn’t think you…you know. Neigh means neigh; rein it in!

Were you among the tiny minority who guessed our Mystery Feet from the other day? I knew as soon as I posted it to Facebook that for CERTAIN people this would pose no difficulty whatsoever, particularly as our Barefoot Boy tends to be Bare as often as he possibly can, including on shopping trips in the city.

Viggo Barefoot

Congratulations to Adrienne, who was the first to correctly guess Viggo Mortensen was the long-toed stranger. For Adrienne’s imaginary prize of hypothetical magnificence, we virtually present the entire catalog of Viggo’s publishing company, Perceval Press:

CANCIONES DEINVIERNO CD Viggo Mortensen		CANCIONES DE INVIERNO/ WINTER SONGS Viggo Mortensen		LAS PEQUEÑAS GRANDES COSAS Talo Kejner
STRANGE MOVIE FULL OF DEATH Scott Wannberg		US FUTURE STATES ATLAS Dan Mills		ANTOLOGIA de la NUEVA POESÍA ARGENTINA Ed. Gustavo López
TWELVE THE KING Michael Blake		MOSTLY PEOPLE Robert Whitman		OTRA ISLA PARA MIGUEL Henry Eric Hernández
SÅDANSET Viggo Mortensen		AT ALL Viggo Mortensen		THE SILENCING Alix Lambert
SKOVBO Viggo Mortensen		TIME WAITS FOR EVERYONE Viggo Mortensen		EL NUEVO ARTE CUBANO Kevin Power Magaly Espinosa
3 FOOLS 4 APRIL Scott Wannberg, Hank Mortensen, and Viggo Mortensen		I FORGET YOU FOR EVER Viggo Mortensen		MAGICAL METEORITE SONGWRITING DEVICE Exene Cervenka

That's not hot sauce, ladies

His protestations to the contrary, we have conclusive proof that Viggo Mortensen is a Red Wings fan.

And that’s just too gross to explain, even for me.

Wash your mind’s eye out with a Muff Diver shooter (no hands, please!) and a few gossip links:

Zachary Quinto has a message for young people (Lolebrity)

Who won the fashion wars? (Ayyyy)

The St Valentine’s Day Massacre/Roundup (raincoaster)

The most perfect food in the world, in 926 words (ManoloFood)

Charlie Sheen pulls an Edith Piaf (AgentBedhead)

You know, I’d pay good money to watch her in the UFC ring (BusyBeeBlogger)

Tila Tequila has gone Amish on us (CelebDirtyLaundry)

In fairness, I’d snub Avril Lavigne too (CelebritySmack)

Wait till Shia LaBeouf hears about this! (CelebVIPLounge)

I don’t blame him: EVERYONE hates Daleks (CityRag)

Your straight boyfriend will care about this story (DailyStab)

Jessica Simpson is as spontaneous as a NASA rocket launch (Earsucker)

Anne Hathaway wears support hose! (FitFabCeleb)

Celebrity fashion week (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Gosh, Emma Watson, lay off the ‘roids! (GossipTeen)

Lance Armstrong has had more comebacks than Cher (HaveUHeard)

A bunch of Yanks at the Brit Awards, why? (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s leaking! (PoorBritney)

Courtney Love perfects the “Dexedrine-addicted, glamorous auntie” look (PopBytes)

Who invited HER? (TheSkinny)

Not much of a revelation, though, since the mystery about this Cougar Fave lasted all of 27 minutes. I think the only way to fool you lot is to post Guess The Celebrity X-ray or something! If you haven’t guessed already (or read the comments) here are some more pictures of our baby-faced blond from Saturday:

Mystery Blond Schoolboy

Such a cute smile! And now, the (in)famous prom shot, which may or may not be from the prom but even in the Seventies I like to believe that people didn’t dress like that every day:

Is that a corduroy formal jacket?

And now, the Big Reveal you’ve all been waiting for (oh, who am I kidding, you already clicked and read it, didn’t you?)…

(more…)

Danish citizen and former upstate New York resident Viggo Mortensen shows cultural sensitivity in Montreal, supporting the Canadiens and introducing the hockey game in flawless English and (Quebec-accented) French.

Yes, he IS perfect.

Hugh Jackman is missing something (Lolebrity)

Keira Knightly takes out contract on Emma Watson? (AgentBedhead)

So…that’s ONE then. (AmyGrindhouse)

Madonna, you’re no Debbie Harry (CeleBitchy)

Eddie Izzard is awesome, insane (BusyBeeBlogger)

Audience in Wonderland (PopBytes)

Sex tape starlet shows off resulting baby bump (GabbyBabble)

Delusional junkie calls Frances Bean Cobain a liar (CelebritySmack)

The real reason Chris Brown beat Rihanna? (HolyMoly)

Molegate! (PopEater)

Dear Kellan Lutz (TenGossip)

God hates Tori Spelling (LitelySalted)

Nicole Kidman has a lot to hide (SeriouslyOMG)

Street style suckage of 2009 (PopSugar)

Hot Tub Time Machine: the reality (Movieline)

Hugh and Daniel are big money gypsies (JustJared)

Diddy ‘dopted (INO)

Diddy waxed (INeedMyFix)

Miss Piggy on the Tiger Woods scandale (EvilBeet)

Santa hates Octomom (DListed)

My Imaginary Boyfriend doesn’t mind working with Tina Fey (Gawker)

Our hunk for today is Our Lord of the Flawless Profile, Viggo Mortensen.

Which does not actually have anything to do with celebrity fashion, but it’s better to see him in a tee or classic suit with collarless shirt than that monstrosity he wore at Cannes a few years back.

as opposed to

Canadians now zombie-proof (AgentBedhead)

A little bird told me Nicole Richie’s finally popped (AmyGrindhouse)

The (sad, desperate) remake of Hair (BusyBeeBlogger)

George Clooney is still dreamy (BricksAndStones)

Kate Moss’s drama queen scene (CeleBitchy)

Chris Noth sex tape, baby! (CelebritySmack)

You can neither understand, nor afford, the genius of the Beatles (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Tyra Banks goes au naturel (DailyStab)

Better late than never, Hefner (DListed)

Heigl mail orders a child (EvilBeet)

Oprah vs Chris Brown (GabbyBabble)

Fabric rationing in the UK apparently (GoFugYourself)

JSimp and JMay are back (INO)

Ellen licks Paula (JustJared)

Army Archerd ankles life (Gawker)

Courtney Love, Twit (Movieline)

Katie Price’s balls (HolyMoly)

It’s Miller Time! (UKPopSugar)

Journalism floods the zone (SeriouslyOMG)

Jimmy Fallon on a hot and bothered Robert Pattinson (TenGossip)

Oh no, O’Day (Websters)

Yes, herbal tea. We’re way holistic around these parts, yo. Especially when we’re hung over.

Time for the Libertines (AgentBedhead)

Christian Bale’s Terminal hotness (AmyGrindhouse)

Hugh Jackman dials down the testosterone (BusyBeeBlogger)

Michael Jackson’s kids surprisingly normal-looking (GlamBabyBumps)

Let’s speak Frankly (BWE)

Emma Watson, princess? (CeleBitchy)

Michael Jackson has skin cancer (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Kathleen Turner, you’ve changed (CelebuWreck)

Katie Price pimps out pix (HolyMoly)

The Ricky Martin of Greece wins Eurovision (DListed)

Shia’s greatest roll? (EvilBeet)

Patriotic partying with the Hoff (GabbyBabble)

Uncle Karl’s walk in the park (FakeKarlLagerfeld)

More Mariah (PopBytes)

New Viggo! (UKPopSugar)

CHiPs 2.0 (INO)

John Mayer survives brutal attack (SeriouslyOMG)

Well, if this doesn’t get me fired, nothing will.

Ashlee Simpson tries to rent out Bronx (CelebWarship)

RIP Bettie Page (BusyBeeBlogger)

Usher ushers in another son (BlackCelebrityKids)

The palace takes protective measures against Paris Hilton (TheBlemish)

Viggo relives WWII (HolyMoly)

At last: proof Lily Allen wears underwear (SeriouslyOMG)

Clay Aiken is a lucky, lucky man (POTP)

Ho, ho, ho, George Clooney (AgentBedhead)

Merry Christmas, y’all! (AmyGrindhouse)

Desperate fabric shortage in Russia! (CelebrityDirtyLaundry)

The REAL reason Hollywood is going on strike! (CelebuWreck)

Paris Hilton claims she’s proof blondes aren’t dumb (CeleBitchy)

Jerry Springer, however, shows unexpected signs of intelligence (CelebritySmack)

Demi Lovato needs a better PR (EvilBeet)

Karl’s Kristmas Karols (FakeKarl)

The Golden Globes nominations (CandyKirby)

These are the greatest church jokes? (IBBB)

Who’s your favorite British man? (UKPopSugar)