Can the person responsible for looking after Viggo’s hair please stand up and promptly shoot themselves in the head?  How one can transform a head of finely coiffed hair to a limp, greasy mess is beyond me.  Now that I have done the unthinkable and used the word limp in connection with this man, I should probably leave you alone to weep silently.  Seriously, does it not pain you to see the poor guy trying to use his unsuspecting co-star as a gunk remover?

UPDATE: He is merely wet, thanks for setting the record straight guys! Now where is the person who is supposed to towel him down – surely such a person should exist in everyone’s entourage and there are many who would happily volunteer for that job. 

Madonna knos how 2 whistle (Lolebrity)

Pete “999″ Doherty saves the day! (AgentBedhead)

Kylie Minogue is legion! (CelebritySmack)

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are canine collectivists (DailyStab)

Viggo Mortensen will outnumber his Oscar competition (Defamer)

Obama’s celebrity Cabinet (Gawker)

Britney Spears gets a job! (CandyKirby)

Lindsay Lohan’s epiphany caught on camera (IBBB)

Princess Diana dug up and made to promote Keira Knightly film (ImNotObsessed)

Paula extends mixed welcome to new Politburo member (POTP)

Roberto Cavalli shares his clothes out to the Miley/Marcia collective (JustJared)

Matthew McConaughey believes in an equal division of labour (PopSugar)

Pornstar hooked on opiate of the masses? (DListed)

Canuckistanis cannot be killed! (Mollygood)

Madonna redistributes capital (Websters)

Put a lid on it! (CityRag)

Dancing with the Stars work group forms (SeriouslyOMG)

London’s mayor now wanted by Beijing … dead or alive! (raincoaster)

Britney Spears has dim inisht car pass city (Lolebrity)

The first Triple Crown win in thirty years? (TheAspiringHorseplayer)

Lindsay Lohan has more lives than a house full of cats (AgentBedhead)

Vin Diesel is a daddy! (DailyStab)

Evander Holyfield nearly loses ear, may lose house as well (CelebritySmack)

KFed will not be bought! Cheaply! (ImNotObsessed)

Click here and watch your ovaries expload: Prince Harry holding a baby! (DListed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo Mortensen vs Jon Bon Jovi (TeenyManolo)

Willy Nelson is a nut; Jessica Simpson is a speed demon (Defamer)

Lynda Carter reports finding a dead woman in the Potomac (CeleBitchy)

Christina Aguilera misuses the American flag (Yeeeeah)

Jennifer Lopez defects to Moscow, twins nowhere in sight (PopSugar)

Kate Beckinsale is uni-talented (Websters)

They grow up so fast…when their mother is Kate Beckinsale, that is (Mollygood)

Jude Law will have none of your “match the shoes to the outfit” Naziism! (JustJared)

“Do ya feel lucky, Spike Lee? Well, do ya?” (CandyKirby)

Billionaire Nerd is secret sex, drug fiend (PerezHilton)

The first rule of Metallica is, you don’t talk about Metallica (Idolator)

Blog Wars: John Cusack on line one… (Defamer)

Buy Bill Cosby’s Eighties sweaters (eBay)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo vs Clive (TeenyManolo)

Prince is a Princess, and Creep will have none of him/her (TheRadReport)

Hanson breeds (CelebWarship)

Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth to be made into an opera (GenosWorld)

James Spader and Jon Cryer together again! (SeriouslyOMG)

SLIME! (raincoaster)

The Classics meme (Nylusmilk)

Audrey Landers breeds true! (DListed)

Remember Vanity Fair? They’ve got Angelina on the cover! (VF)

Charlie Sheen is a hot bachelor (ImNotObsessed)

Giselle is all, like, what I meant was no more plastic surgery (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Aerosmith songsmith Steven Tyler seeks rehab for his feet? (CelebritySmack)

Welcome to Margaritaville! (DailyStab)

Extravagant hats: in or out? (CandyKirby)

Sex and the Lamé   (GoFugYourself)

KISS rocks Condi’s world (AgentBedhead)

TAPS for the Internets (Lolebrity)

Token Madonna story (GabbyBabble)

Headlines of the Enquirer (Popbytes)

Jenny Holtzer’s got a Twitter feed! (Gawker)

Picasso’s got a lot of dough (Lolebrity)

The problem with Pete Doherty’s crotch (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Lopez does not care about your dying mom (Gawker)

The Fresh Prince of Calabasas goes back to high school (Defamer)

John McCain’s melanoma (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

The real-life blade runner wins Olympic appeal (Disembedded)

Nikki Cox’s incredible inflating face (Websters)

Gwyneth Paltrow is tall, gorgeous, and leaking (Jezebel)

Full-frontal fellas (DListed)

Party animals Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse party with animals (SeriouslyOMG)

Brangelina’s kids are pregnant! (CandyKirby)

Denzel Washington gets the House of Wax treatment (ImNotObsessed)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Viggo vs Denzel (TeenyManolo)

Mischa Barton’s specialty underpants (DailyStab)

The Gary Busey trading card! (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Kiefer Sutherland…what was I saying? *swoon* (CityRag)

Paris Hilton in rickrack attack! (CelebritySmack)

NKOTB -> OKOTTV (Mollygood)

raincoaster haz a famus (FamousPeople)

Lance Armstrong picks up Owen Wilson’s sloppy seconds (PerezHilton)

J-Lo, Christina, Salma, Jessica, both Nicoles – Viggo had pressed and prodded their pregnant bellies with the intensity of a man on a mission but none had yielded the sign he was looking for. That was, until Oscar night threw him together with Cate Blanchett in her third trimester. One little kick and he instantly knew.  Here at last, after so many months of arduous and fruitless searching, lay the one who was worthy of donning the colours of San Lorenzo de Almagro.

Best Chest Dressed: the nominees (Defamer)

Last year’s party monsters: this year’s sofa-bound popcorn munchers (Gawker)

Kate Moss will give the Proletariat the shirt off her back (AgentBedhead)

Mmmmmmmm, Johnny Depppppp….prit-tay! (Celebitchy)

Moobs! Mooooooooooobs! (Cityrag)

Amy Winehouse is no commando (Yeeeeah)

Angelina Jolie fainted again (Gabsmash)

Joan Rivers will draw blood (GlitteratiGossip)

Jennifer Lopez is the hardest-working mama in showbiz (CircusHour)

Dr. McDreamy is Versace Man! (PopSugar)

Sex and the City and the Poster and the Trailer (CelebritySmack)

Heath Ledger’s final image (HollywoodBackwash)

George Clooney is a thin-lipped Jelly Belly (DailyStab)

Britney Spears is the $22million dollar woman (HolyMoly)

Paris Hilton airs out the arm pubes (LARagMag)

Aaron Carter jailed! (WeLoveCelebs)

Natalie Portman wants to get nekkid (IDLYITW)

GEORGE CLOONEY IS WORLD’S MOST ADORABLE ADULT HUMAN (Mollygood)

Jenna Fischer’s paparazzi frenzy (JustJared)

Tom Cruise is shrinking! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

Yes go ahead, chuckle away at your private little jokes while you still can, you feeble-fisted Oscar nominees.  But come World Beard and Moustache Championship time, we shall see who’ll have the last laugh!