I don’t know what’s going on here, but why don’t you tell me in the comments for the chance to win vast internet fame and charming, entirely imaginary prizes?

Nicolas Cage and a pickle. How should I know?

Whoa, they aren’t messing around anymore! I’d like to know who down at Headquarters okayed that hiring decision.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

What Would Neil Patrick Harris Do? (Lolebrity)
World’s cutest octopus (raincoaster)
These boots were made for stalking (Shoeblogs)
Why dress well? (ManoloBig)
This is a pervy poultry fancier’s dream come true (TeenyManolo)
Stacked! (ManoloHome)
New Dork Times (ManoloBrides)
Bill Murray previews Amy Winehouse’s retirement plan (AgentBedhead)
Lindsay Lohan’s lesbian prison chixploitation script writes itself (BestWeekEver)
Jennifer Aniston raises a stink in London (BricksAndStones)
I’d do that all the time if I were a Lohan (BusyBeeBlogger)
Whoopi brought her friend Harvey on the View (CeleBitchy)
A heaping hunk of himbos (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Ben Affleck’s Batcave (CelebrityMound)
Katy Perry gives a generation of fanboys diabetes (CelebritySmack)
Foxy Brown performs her version of “New Moon” (Crunk+Disorderly)
I could make a tart joke but I’ll just say “bun in the oven” (DailyStab)
Twit o’ the Day: LindsayInJail (Twitter)
Is this the long-awaited Hilton sister porno? (DanasDirt)
Some people will do ANYTHING to be like their favorite star (EvilBeet)
Forget Zardoz: Hail ZDROK! (FourFour)
Beauty and the Geeks (GabbyBabble)
STOP! In the name of fug! (GoFugYourself)
Kim Kardashian ->Victoria Beckham? (HollywoodBackwash)
Hey LOTR nerds! It’s BloomsDay! (HollywoodRag)
The Big Babeh Bummer (INeedMyFix)
Leo lays it out (HaveUHeard)
The strangest strap-on I have ever seen (IBBB)
16-year-old learns to dress herself (JustJared)
Situation Normal…rest of them AFU (MaterialBitch)
Britney Spears is team LAY OFF ME (PerezHilton)
Natalie Portman’s swan song (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
Katie Price is so not G-A-Y (UKPopSugar)
We’ve lost her (PopBytes)
V for…vajayjay? (SeriouslyOMG)

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• Why Is Lindsay F – ed Up? Michael Lohan charged with harassment for alleged attack on own fiancee (chicagoraysrants.com)
• Lindsay Lohan…Tweeting from Jail? (thegloss.com)

which isn’t as filthy as it sounds.

Princess Diana In Memoreo

It just means I’ve found EatingOffThePeople’sPrincess, a blog that consists of nothing but artfully consumed and arranged foods on a Princess Diana commemorative plate. I mean, did the world really have to wait for blogs to come into existence to give these things a purpose? What did people do with them before, other than sell them on eBay and flea markets? How many generations of royal divorces would you have to collect these puppies to have four place settings, anyway? I don’t remember any Princess Margaret/Tony Snowdon commemorative divorce plates.

Be sure and see the “Di Hard” and “Di Harder” entries! I wonder if this counts as posthumous public service?

You know what to do, so do it in the comments section for vast fame and imaginary prizes!

bacon necklace wtf?

You know, if Gwen Stefani had worn those back when she was still single, she’d still BE single. I mean, Diesel Jeans I know. Depends Jeans are something for which the world as we know it is not yet ready.

Johnny Depp’s awesome flashbacks (Lolebrity)

raincoaster’s emo moment (raincoaster)

That’s his “rainbow face” (Shoeblogs)

Home Depot turns me on (ManoloHome)

Hatch your own commie pinko! (ManoloFood)

World’s ugliest majorette (ManoloBig)

Are you diva enough for this? (ManoloBrides)

New Dad State of Mind (TeenyManolo)

Ebony and Ivory and PDA (AgentBedhead)

From the iPad of the Artist Formerly Known As Sane… (AmyGrindhouse)

…and by “paps” we mean photographers, you pervs! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Elle MacPherson is horny, leathery (CeleBitchy)

The quiff of death (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Oh my god, it’s contagious! (DListed)

Pot informs kettle of its noiritude (HaveUHeard)

World’s craziest grampa (INeedMyFix)

Kelsey Grammer vs Sigmund Freud (SeriouslyOMG)

Still more lifelike than Mickey Rourke.

Psst: if you’re a gossip blogger who’d rather drink than link, drop me a line; I’m offering a 3-5x a week link service.

George Lazenby vs the disabled (TrueSlant)

Gwyneth Paltrow, title queen (Lolebrity)

The true secret of contemporary fashion? (TheManolo)

No honour among food bloggers (ManoloFood)

Wicked Witch of the West Hits The Disco shoes (ManoloBig)

Open new possibilities (ManoloHome)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Will Arnett vs Christian Bale (TeenyManolo)

Don’t sweat it, Bride (ManoloBrides)

Meeting the terrifying Nina Simone (JessicaGotlieb)

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and me (Jasperante)

Bruce Willis’s boozeshake brings all the rummies to the yard (BusyBeeBlogger)

Short pregnancy for Alicia Keys (CeleBitchy)

Paltrow seeks penpals! (AgentBedhead)

World 25% less Kink-y (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Ew, JLoHew! (CojoStyle)

Boxers or briefs, Orlando Bloom? (PopBytes)

Emma Watson is hardcore! (Gawker)

Jason Bateman does the walk of shame (INeedMyFix)

Dakota Fanning soon to be nude (HaveUHeard)

Mickey Rourke replaced by human! (SeriouslyOMG)

Today’s trendoid is not complete without a green machine. Which of these designer contraptions will wheel away with your heart?

The economical $3500 Hermes:

bicycle hermes

Or what about the veddy, veddy posh $17,000 Chanel (at that price it should come with a decorative manservant to pedal)

bicycle chanel

Or, if geek-flavoured laziness is your thing, how about a nice Chanel Segway?

Chanel Segway

Don’t forget the accessories: a stylish helmet and bike clips!

bike helmets I'd actually wear

Chanel bikecuffs

Hey Lindsay, are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Honestly, if your parents really loved you, would they let you go out in THAT?