Ayyyy!

Yep, still living pure. Cocoa, fresh vegetables, whole grains, and the finest flu and cold medicines known to mankind. I’m seeing quadruple!

Om nom nom Lohan (Websters)

Jesse Metcalfe brings the Elvis Hair (TenGossip)

Heidi Klum shows off her panties (ASL)

Robin Williams’ unscheduled downtime (SeriouslyOMG)

Daryl Hannah still exists! (PopBytes)

Kate Moss isn’t pregnant and DON’T YOU FORGET IT (UKPopSugar)

The 25 stupidest outfits ever (BWE)

Nikki Taylor 2.0 (ImNotObsessed)

Angelina goes blonde (IBBB)

Life IS like High School Musical reunions (GoFugYourself)

The 80’s really are back (EvilBeet)

Radiohead puts Miley Cyrus in her place (Lainey)

Michael Jackson concerts announced, chaos to ensue (HolyMoly)

Jennifer Aniston a botox-free zone? (DailyStab)

Kardashians putting the “ass” in “class” again (CelebritySmack)

Octomom production tape for sale (AmyGrindhouse)

Juliette Lewis, the hardest-working Scientologist in showbusiness (AgentBedhead)

Hey, nothing sets you up right in the morning like a steamed seasonal beverage, particularly one high in Vitamin C and natural sugars, and most particularly after an evening of Hot Tom and Jerry. Not that I would know anything about that.

Hey Santa, say hi to your mother for me (KnockedUpCelebs)

and just like that, a Himbo commits career suicide (AgentBedhead)

The victim statement of Miss Paris Hilton (AmyGrindhouse)

SamRo go to Hospital, yo (Bricks and Stones)

The Olsen Twins are different from you and me (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse airs out the girls (CelebWarship)

The 12 Days of Drunk Celebrities (Cityrag)

The Bond Girl Murder (CelebritySmack)

Your rhetorical Michael Jackson question of the year (DailyStab)

Zac Efron, the fruity Christmas keepsake (Defamer)

John Mayer hates puppies (DListed)

A cultural history of the Star Wars Holiday Special (VanityFair)

Most scandalous celebs of 2008 (UKPopSugar)

Most inspirational animal of 2008 (EvilBeet)

Christmas Brangelina collectibles (HolyCandy)

Lily Allen: coming soon to a preschool near you (ImNotObsessed)

Katie Holmes stands up her husband (JustJared)

Peaches Geldof does same (HolyMoly)

Everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it (IBBB)

It’s Bai Ling’s world, we just live in it (Websters)

I don’t even like icewine, which is weird because I am normally all about the dessert wines and so I am somehow vaguely unpatriotic for not liking Canada’s national dessert wine, but perhaps it has something to do with the bottle that had been open two years and stored next to the pickles and olives in the fridge which was my first taste of icewine.

Yeah. That’s it.

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Santa Dads (TeenyManolo)

Katie Holmes gets the makeover of her life! (Websters)

Because she really needs it (SeriouslyOMG)

Tony Parker thinks he has in vitro telekinesis (ASL)

Britney’s triumph of hope over experience (WizbangPop)

Partygoers must be on Pixie dust (UKPopSugar)

Pamela Anderson is the new house model at Vivienne Westwood (ElleUK)

Greatest gifts of all time, anywhere (CandyKirby)

Is this Mary-Kate? Or Ashley? (IBBB)

Happy 28th to Christina Drooguliera (Defamer)

Zac Efron at Children’s Hospital (JustJared)

Rihanna brings the bootaloons (GoFugYourself)

Bono is a Freudian (GabbyBabble)

William H Macy’s mercury levels well within safety limits (EvilBeet)

Pete Doherty’s arm assploded! (HolyMoly)

Karl Lagerfeld gets the funk up (FakeKarl)

Lily Allen is in the wrong line of work (DListed)

Smells like Beef Spirit? (DailyStab)

Click for a Cause (CelebritySmack)

Paris Hilton, burgled again (CeleBitchy)

Is ScarJo the new Jennifer Aniston? (AmyGrindhouse)

Buy a $1 beer and fight $cientology (AgentBedhead)

Megan Fox and Zac Efron are brothers under the skin (AgentBedhead)

Robert Pattison has one hell of an icebreaker (CeleBitchy)

Lilo and Sam maintain their net celebrity couple attractiveness quotient (CelebritySmack)

Bloodbath on Days of Our Lives! (DailyStab)

Kate Moss has a zit! (UKPopSugar)

Pax Jolie-Pitt is no fool (BabbleBaby)

The Defamer Simpson-Wentz baby name generator (Defamer)

Couple of the Month (DListed)

The incredible shrinking Lilo is back (Lainey)

The Obama girls are not taking the Amy Carter route (EvilBeet)

Katy Perry: the good, the bad, and the fugly (GoFugYourself)

Gwyneth Paltrow can get away with wearing a pillowcase: photographic proof! (HollywoodOffender)

Cruella deVille Ann Coulter, 47, Pin-Up (CandyKirby)

Teri Hatcher dates down (IBBB)

People Magazine vs The New York Times (JustJared)

Oprah cheaps out (MollyGood)

Britney asks “What’s normal?” (CelebWarship)

It was a dark and stormy night, and all the crew were gathered in the cabin. The captain turned to the first mate and said, “Pass the Laphroaig, please.”

Celebrity Dad Faceoff: historical hunk edition (TeenyManolo)

Item #38 in Things You Already Knew: Madonna hates America (AgentBedhead)

Malawi strikes back! (CeleBitchy)

Melissa Etheridge is back on the market whether she likes it or not! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Julia Hudson is a whackadoodle (CelebritySmack)

Anne Hathaway has some freaky pen friends (DailyStab)

Courtney Love is easily confused (Defamer)

The Return of Britney Spears (DListed)

On Karl’s iPod (FakeKarl)

Katy Perry is no Grace Jones (GoFugYourself)

Justin and Britney reunited under adult supervision (IBBB)

Suri Cruise has a message for you (CandyKirby)

Russell Brand got thrown out of England (UKPopSugar)

Nicole Kidman is just jealous (Websters)

Zac Efron is literal-minded, not dirty-minded! (Yeeeeah)

Life lessons from Judge Judy (Jezebel)

Courting Condi (Mollygood)

Say “nuclear!” (Lolebrity)

Sarkozy. Mme Sarkozy (AgentBedhead)

RIP Mr Blackwell (CelebritySmack)

Angelina Jolie ready to be the “cool” mom. In other news, Pangea ready to disburse. (DailyStab)

The United Kingdom’s greatest natural wonders (CandyKirby)

Paris Hilton is serious about this social climbing thing (CeleBitchy)

Gillian Anderson had her baby (DListed)

The world’s most beautiful woman (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Making the perfect Celebrity announcement (Defamer)

Beverly Hills Bailout (Gawker)

Beverly Hills Cthulhu (raincoaster)

Mr Blackwell’s Worst Dressed List of Eternity (Gawker)

Zac Efron is legal everywhere! (GabbyBabble)

David Banda just can’t win! (MollyGood)

The latest in Jessica Simpson overshares (Websters)

Tonight we dedicate our gossip link roundup to the concept, consumption, and practice of the Suffering Bastard.

HoverSuri iz hovering (Lolebrity)

Redmond O’Neal to re-try rehab (CelebWarship)

Even Paris Hilton looks down on Sarah Palin (Websters)

Chauncey Gardener makes her look dumb by comparison (Gawker)

Tom Cruise enters the Bedhead Hall of Shame (AgentBedhead)

Kiefer Sutherland is terrified of imaginary sharks (DailyStab)

George Clooney suffers Tom Selleck Follicular Syndrome (Defamer)

Bill Gates is a dick (NSFW!) (Valleywag)

Can you even imagine the suffering involved in dating Anna Wintour? (Radar)

Hitler’s is better than Zac Efron’s, to be honest (UKPopSugar)

John Cusack’s stalker FINALLY gets a date. In court (WizbangPop)

The Naked Chef is terrified of herpes! (GetLippy)

Kanye West’s narrow escape (HolyCandy)

Sting has a monkey on his back (CandyKirby)

another helpless victim of the economic downturn (IBBB)

David Hasselhoff stars in It Came from the D-List! (Lolebrity)

Zac Efron in Three’s Company (MikeyMars)

Matt Damon and Brad Pitt in Celebrity Dad Faceoff (TeenyManolo)

Gossip Blogger in My So-Called Life (raincoaster)

The Young and the Wasted: The Gawker 20 (Gawker)

The Spice Girls star in The (Gilded) Birdcage (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Garner in The Family Way (CelebritySmack)

Method Man in The Man Who Fell to Earth (POTP)

Nicole Kidman in Heaven (CelebWarship)

Salma Hayek makes a triumphant return in The Single Life (DailyStab)

Corey vs Corey (Defamer)

Michael Lohan Jr in Continent (CandyKirby)

Revenge of the Unfairly Slandered Tomatoes! (IBBB)

Britney and KFed in Agreement (ImNotObsessed)

The Dark Knight in Box Office Boffo! (JustJared)

Flavor Flav in Articulate (Mollygood)

Kelly Osbourne in Stripes (UKPopsugar)

Ashanti in Chintz (Crunk&Disorderly)

Matthew McConaughey in Better Late Than Never (CeleBitchy)

Blaaaaaaaaake in Carcerated! (DListed)