Chi Flat Irons: Surprisingly Ineffective Birth Control

So it looks like Simpson the Lesser (I’m totally team Jessica by the way, I like my vapid blonde starlets genuinely vapid. Keep your creme-rinsed facade of kohl-based angst away from me, Ashlee!) and her fiance –that guy with the hair from that band I don’t know anything about– might have figured out how to make babies.

Oh great. You KNOW this is how Planet of the Product-Using Apes starts.

If they discover fire, we’re all going down.