Emma Watson Rewards Copy Editors with Easy “Chamber of Secrets” Headline.

Oh Emma. My sweet, overacting, normal-seeming Emma. You hold a special place in my heart. Back in the day when I got dumped by the man I loved for a hirsute East-German amnesiac with a exceedingly tenuous understanding of the importance of wearing underwear, I pretty much stayed in my apartment for three months crying, drinking inexcusably bad pineapple-flavored rum straight from the bottle via a purple krayzee straw and watching Harry Potter on continuous loop until I fell asleep and my dog figured out how close my laptop.

Emma Watson in happier, less junk-revealing timesYou cannot, then, imagine my distress when I logged on to The Superficial and discovered (though I didn’t view the NSFW photos) that you have joined the cavalcade of pantsless party girls.

Ems, sugar, I get it. Daniel Radcliffe got his kit off in Equus, rode a few masked theater workers and it was a great career move. However, that was a play. This is real life, so unless you’re auditioning method-style for The Chronicles of Crotchia, you might want to let Hanes have her way with you from here on out. Besides, the part is TOTALLY going to La Lohan anyway.

4 Responses to “Emma Watson Rewards Copy Editors with Easy “Chamber of Secrets” Headline.”

  1. frumpiefox April 28, 2008 at 2:22 pm #

    Plumcake–thank you for the much needed chuckle! I wish I could teach my dog that trick….

  2. Cat April 28, 2008 at 3:46 pm #

    I *did* view the NSFW photos, and in Emma’s defense I can tell you that she was, in fact, wearing underpants. Sadly, however, they were made of sheer black fabric, leaving little to the imagination.

  3. atari April 28, 2008 at 7:43 pm #

    Just about to post what Cat there said. Those are clearly sheer panties (unless our dear Emma naturally has black stripes across her vajayjay.)

    And there’s nothing wrong with sheer panties. Unless you’re showing ‘em off like that.

  4. raincoaster April 28, 2008 at 10:19 pm #

    Well, you CAN get it waxed into patterns. Not that I think that’s what she did.