Gold Member

Gold Member Datta Phuge

Gold Member Datta Phuge

Ladies, feast your eyes on this, the apotheosis of men’s wear. Of Man’s man’s wear.

This breathtakingly tasteless spectacle is Indian money lender Datta Phuge’s original design. Atop a base of white imported velvet (not that it matters, but who the hell imports silk velvet to India? From where? As if India ran out of silkworms!) the short-sleeved shirt is woven with solid gold threads, at a cost of about $22,000, and adorned with Swarovski crystal buttons. Really? Am I the only one thinking that overpriced rhinestones  on a solid gold shirt is just a freaking cop-out? Gimme some beryls, some lapis lazuli, at least some peridot!

Now, setting aside the obvious fact that the shirt is just gawdawful, let us examine the stated goals of the shirt:

  1. to attract women
  2. to advertise Phuge’s money lending business.

There’s no question that the shirt will succeed in achieving the first of these, although once he gets to know them he’ll probably conclude he’d rather draw flies. It doesn’t take too many avaricious good time girls to go through an entire stack of gold shirts at a nightclub.

As for the second, it is really the men’s casuals version of the Hummer I used to see driving around Vancouver, plastered with bumperstickers for

2 Responses to “Gold Member”

  1. Natalie Anne Lanoville January 17, 2013 at 6:22 am #

    I think his chest is a rocket, and all that gold is like an anchor there to keep his top half from taking off.