Gwyneth Paltrow: Still American, Still Can’t Dress

February 7, 2008 in Crazy Couples, Gwyneth Paltrow with 9 Comments

Gwynnie, sugar lump, I get it. I do. Even though you don’t know, we’re more alike than you might think. We’re both tall and fair, we both have enviable bone structure, we both have very strict diets (you’re a macrobiotic wackaloon who apparently hates bacon, freedom and happiness while I will only consume Oreos if they’re frozen AND double-stuft) and we’re both pretentious Anglomaniacs. But poodle, you’re still from L.A and, no matter what your borderline unhygienic but still remarkably hot husband Chris Martin tells you, you cannot technically become British “by injection.”

About Plumcake:

All Posts by  |  Personal Blog  |  Twitter  |  Facebook  |  Share By Email

9 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow: Still American, Still Can’t Dress”

  1. Cristina February 7, 2008 at 5:29 pm #

    What is going on with her shoes? Those are seriously hideous shoes.

  2. valawhoo February 7, 2008 at 5:36 pm #

    I agree on the shoes. They look like those hideous clogs all the young ‘uns were wearing a few years (decades?) back – you know, the ones with the really thick soles and a strap of thick black elastic across the top of the foot. Ick.

  3. La Petite Acadienne February 7, 2008 at 7:45 pm #

    Maybe she figures that she won’t be completely British until she out-fashion-don’ts Helena Bonham Carter? If so, you’ve got a way to go yet, Gwynnie.

    Please don’t let the Manolo see that picture. Those shoes are a hazard to his emotional well-being.

  4. Heather February 7, 2008 at 8:32 pm #

    I think she’s actually a New Yorker by birth….

  5. Synnamin February 7, 2008 at 9:42 pm #

    is she wearing a cellophane bag and a very large stick of bubble gum???

  6. Jennie February 7, 2008 at 9:43 pm #

    Hey ladies! Did I miss the memo on the giant hideous bow at the neck as the new fashion faze? WTF? And don’t these people have a full length mirror? Under $20.00 at any big box store! Or is it that “designers’ give them clothes anf they wear them because they are free…Or the laundry isn’t done…

  7. raincoaster February 8, 2008 at 12:37 am #

    I kind of love that bow, because it looks as if someone has tried to strangle her. If only they’d tried harder!

  8. Toby Wollin February 8, 2008 at 9:32 am #

    I figured it out. She was on her way out of the house and someone told her it might rain, so she grabbed a clear lawn and leaf bag out from underneath the sink, cut a couple of holes in it for her arms and wa-la — instant rainwear. No? That’s not it?

  9. Mr. Henry February 8, 2008 at 10:02 am #

    Oh, Plumcake! You had Mr. Henry at “Gwynnie, sugar lump…” He chuckled all morning.

    And yet, he continues to admire the lovely and winning Gwynneth, and to remember that she is the only American actress ever to pronounce an English accent spot on.