Happy Endings

Balloon Artiste Love

It was Jeremy’s proudest day. Indeed, all his life he’d worried that his impecunious career as a balloon artiste was a negative on the dating scene, but Drusilla proved to him there is really is someone for everyone.

20 Responses to “Happy Endings”

  1. raincoaster August 15, 2008 at 8:18 am #

    Oh. My. God.

    I just noticed: arm hose. Please don’t let it be the year of arm hose!

  2. valawhoo August 15, 2008 at 9:14 am #

    I can’t believe you noticed that. I was too distracted by the… balloons.

  3. valawhoo August 15, 2008 at 9:17 am #

    I wasn’t going to ask, but I must… where did you find this lovely image?

  4. ChaChaHeels August 15, 2008 at 9:29 am #

    Listen, if it weren’t for the arm hose, who would know where to look?

  5. Elvira August 15, 2008 at 10:01 am #

    The complete absence of nipples must be another plastic surgery trick. Where are they? Under her arms, or were they removed altogether?

  6. QC August 15, 2008 at 11:55 am #

    Uh… wow. Wow. Uh… huh.

  7. Jennie August 15, 2008 at 12:04 pm #

    “Run! They’re gonna blow!” screamed the MOTB as the crowd fled the impending disaster.

    @Elvira, Superglue on the nips and gown?

  8. La Petite Acadienne August 15, 2008 at 12:07 pm #

    The sad thing is that you can see that the centre part of the bodice, which was supposed to be upright, is lying down. My guess is that this tragedy resulted from too low a back on the gown, combined with a lack of proper boning in the corset, resulting in the entire upper part of the bodice collapsing under the strain of the bride’s breasts. It probably happened while she was sitting down in the limo. The question is why none of her bridesmaids came to her aid to hoist up her top.

    Unless of course, she MEANT for it to look like that, in which case….oy.

  9. Danna August 15, 2008 at 12:12 pm #

    The bodice of that dress must be steel cable reinforced and cantilevered. As my dad used to say, That takes the cake!

  10. Stella August 15, 2008 at 12:50 pm #

    Most terrifying for me is imagining the 80 year old grandma trying to give the bride a hug…

  11. danilo August 15, 2008 at 6:15 pm #

    Just be happy for the couple, as this wedding almost didn’t happen.

    The vote was evenly split between ‘Yes, I will.’ and ‘No, I can’t marry you.’ Finally her right breast cast the deciding vote, just to spite the left one.

  12. raincoaster August 15, 2008 at 7:22 pm #

    I stole this from DListed: all my stolen images are linked to their source. Where DListed got it from is anyone’s guess; I can only assume they were invited to the wedding, along with everyone else in the trailer park.

  13. Ken Davis August 15, 2008 at 8:07 pm #

    Looks like they’ve been there for a while, both have drinks in their hands.

  14. raincoaster August 15, 2008 at 9:10 pm #

    Well, you’d have to be pretty wasted to wear a dress like that anyway.

  15. gemdiva August 16, 2008 at 9:14 am #

    La Petite, judging from the size of those puppies and the amount of fabric in evidence, I don’t think she ever intended to corral them. You are indeed a very good person to give her the benefit of the doubt. Me, I’m pure evil and can only assume that this is the opening scene of a porn movie where the bride ends up “doing” all the groomsmen and maybe a couple of the bridesmaids. OK, now I have to go wash my mind out with soap. Ewww!

  16. red August 16, 2008 at 4:19 pm #

    Dear god. Let’s hope she doesn’t sneeze!

  17. Dee August 17, 2008 at 12:51 am #

    … and very distracted the groom said: “Aunt Maggie, this is my cow…. AHAM! This is my BRIDE!”

  18. Jennie August 18, 2008 at 4:17 am #

    Forget sneezing… What happens when she does the obligatory Chicken Dance?

  19. Pencils August 19, 2008 at 12:02 pm #

    I think she meant to look like that. Maybe she’s a stripper, and this is covered up for her. Explains the arm hose, anyway! The sad thing is that I thought it was a prom photo at first! Big necklace, no veil…but I think this is after the wedding.

  20. La BellaDonna September 5, 2008 at 7:00 pm #

    Like La Petite, I gave this … outfit … the critical once-over and noted the various flaws in engineering.

    My second thought was actually how disproportionate this girl looks in the picture. No, not those! There are plenty of girls with plenty of bosom. But she has such narrow shoulders, a short neck, and a thick waist.

    Fortunately for her, most people won’t notice.