Here I come to save the day!

Unauthorised tell-all biography about to hit the shelves in an overwhelming explosion of secrets, rumours, innuendo and lies, just damn lies? Sounds like it’s time to issue another one of those press release disguised as standard hero-saves-the-day stories:

Superstar TOM CRUISE turned superhero last month (Dec07) when he rushed to the aid of a woman left stranded in snow after her car ran off the road. Cruise was driving his sports utility vehicle near his home in Telluride, Colorado with his wife Katie Holmes and his three children, Isabella, 15, Connor, 13, and 21-month-old Suri, when he came upon the damsel in distress.

So the Mission: Impossible star stopped his vehicle and, with the aid of his minder, used its winch cable to drag the woman’s stuck car out of the snow. An onlooker tells American magazine In Touch Weekly, “The police were waiting with the woman for a tow truck and all of a sudden, a Hummer pulled up and it was Tom Cruise.”

That Tom Cruise! Always ready and at your service with his winch cable whenever you need it most. Too many examples of his heroic deeds to list here. Oh look, there he goes again! Bravely wading into uncharted territory in order to liberate a helpless maiden from her husband-enforced chastity belt.  Don’t swoon all at once ladies – take it in turns so that Tom can arrive in time to catch you!

Is this dress held together by a bandaid or what?

6 Responses to “Here I come to save the day!”

  1. Jane January 10, 2008 at 11:18 am #

    What has Katie got ON in that picture? It looks suspiciously like the pay-per-throw trash bags in my town…

  2. MrsDarwin January 10, 2008 at 6:07 pm #

    He’d do better service for the damsel if he’d zip up the back of her dress. I know it’s tricky to reach behind and grab the thing, but really, Katie!

  3. Poochie January 11, 2008 at 8:04 am #

    Oh, he’s just so ICK now!

    BTW, to see the dress, check out the Fug Girls take on it –

    You have to scroll down a few posts.

    Of course he has a Hummer. Blech!


  4. Jen January 11, 2008 at 10:52 am #

    Is that a dress or a diaper?

  5. Bridey January 11, 2008 at 2:04 pm #

    So, what, it would be better if he didn’t help drag the woman’s car out of the snow? Seems a strange thing to b**** someone out about.

  6. Ginger January 13, 2008 at 10:09 am #

    It would be better if he did not have such a trail of “ZOMG I AM LEGEND” hero-type stories that the average Joe does without a press team blasting them to the media in an effort to make him look more like a dude than a simpering jerk.

    Just my opinion.