How’s it going, Kristen Stewart?

It's one step away from finger guns

It's one step away from finger guns

Holding it together, I see.

Kristen, sweetheart. I knew Liz Hurley. Liz Hurley once snubbed a friend of mine. You, my dear, are no Liz Hurley.

Liz doesn't actually care if it all falls apart, as indeed it did a few years later

Liz doesn't actually care if it all falls apart, as indeed it did a few years later

Actually, I don’t hate the dress. I don’t see the point of it, but I don’t hate it. It looks like a twenty-thousand dollar cross between a punk rock leather jacket and a Christian Louboutin spike shoe. That said, something has obviously fundamentally changed in the celeb-o-sphere: She’s showing evidence of some emotion other than “mopey” and that’s got to be either a good thing or a sign the Rapture is indeed approaching. So what the heck, here’s to that with a Happy Face cocktail and some gossip links:

Batman shows off his Buggysnake, his birds, and his Bat Moves in Badass Brazilian Bat Dance Action! (raincoaster)

Name That Sock! Holey celebrity footwear, Batman, whoever that is should be arrested! (Ayyyy)

Blogger pimps out own social media workshops in shocking gossip link roundup non sequitur! (raincoastermedia)

Axl Rose, living avatar of Don’t Dad, thunders towards the stage edge, and a hundred fans leap backwards rather than be crushed beneath him like so many twiglets under an orca. (Lolebrity)

Game of Thrones recap: all the news you ever wanted on the best series you’re probably not watching. (Crasstalk)

Cambridge Scholar? You might be good enough to sign on as a servant at Casa Goopy. Yes, it’ll be torture working for her, but think of the book deal! (AgentBedhead)

It’s a man, baby! Blind item not quite as blind as this retro leading man might wish. (BusyBeeBlogger)

NOBODY ignores Anna Wintour and lives. Sienna Miller had better start saying her prayers (and also laying off the facial fillers). (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Did Jessica Biel get her pity fuck after all? Gerard Butler says…she’ll take what she can get; wouldn’t you? (CelebritySmack)

Strangely, I don’t recall the nude scene in Shakespeare. That’s not going to stop this underage starlet, though! (CelebVIPLounge)

Lauryn Hill is a Duggar at heart! She’s Sexto-Mom! (DailyStab)

Whiner Weiner’s weiner winner! Hey, there’s a reason they call it “congress”! (EarSucker)

I’m not sure if that’s a wardrobe malfunction or the best idea EVER! Justin Timberlake can lift and separate me any time! (FitFabCeleb)

Dear ScarJo: ProTip: this is not how you protect your privacy. You’re welcome. (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jennifer Aniston would really, really like you to believe her this time, and so would both their publicists. (HaveUHeard)

There will be no One Night in Jennifer Lopez tape. Not if Jennifer Lopez can help it. (HollywoodHiccups)

Photo PROOF Gerard Butler looks like the Great Gazoo! I’m not kidding, people. Cannot be unseen! (INeedMyFix)

Is this a photo of Jack Black playing with himself on the red carpet? Yes. Yes, I’m pretty sure that it is. (MathewGuiver)

Rafael Nadal shows you one reason to love white jeans. Well, technically this might be two reasons… (SwoonWorthy)

Selah.

2 Responses to “How’s it going, Kristen Stewart?”

  1. megan June 7, 2011 at 2:59 am #

    that dress is BALMAIN! It’s glorious!!

  2. raincoaster June 8, 2011 at 2:12 am #

    Balmain makes mistakes. This is one of them.