Hump Day Links: The Ultimate Boyfriend Outfit

This? This is genius. And no doubt about to be a best-seller with single girls, who are up to their ears in articles on how to date hot men who bore them senseless (anything rather than be single!): just get him one of these super-turtlenecks and voila! Problem solved, and so much less stressful than just telling him to shut up.

M is for Muffle It, Heidi (AgentBedhead)

Shut Your Mouth! Elijah Wood is 29 (AmyGrindhouse)

Mad Man murdered by silence (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ben wants Jen to STFU (CeleBitchy)

Siskel shushes Ebert (Movieline)

Cows take Kiefer for a ride (PopEater)

Tina Turner is HOW old? Shut up! (CelebritySmack)

Say What? (DailyStab)

Monjack seeks to gag WarnerBrothers (DListed)

Amy Winehouse erases Blake (HolyMoly)

Things Jennifer Aniston DIDN’T say (PopBytes)

Denise Van Outen speaks in code (UKPopSugar)

Mariah’s dress covers her hidden charms (CityRag)

Hugh Jackman speaks! (LitelySalted)

Diddy did? I’m speechless (LaughingStork)

Clare Danes speaks for the autistic (INeedMyFix)

Pete Doherty continues to be unspeakable (CrazyDays&Nights)

Jay Leno hasn’t spoken to Conan (EvilBeet)

Ugly Betty silenced (GabbyBabble)

Alicia Keys has no comment (INO)

NBC slides Conan some hush money? (JustJared)

Zelda Rubenstein has gone dark (Movieline)

Jon Voight wants you to STFU HATERZ (PerezHilton)

Mariah shouldn’t talk! (ASL)

Lance Bass is quietly emo (TenGossip)

Chris Matthews puts his foot in his mouth (Gawker)

Shut up, Kanye (Lolebrity)