It’s like Dynasty with better handbags

I own you Stella McCartney!

Oh, to be a well-coiffed little boy on his regular morning tow around the block with his supermodel mum, blissfully unaware of the real-life drama that is brewing around his very existence:

Despite the fact that Linda Evangelista’s reps continue to deny it, Page Six is still insisting that Francois-Henri Pinault is the father of the supermodel’s one-year-old son, Augustin. Francois-Henri is also the confirmed father of fiancee Salma Hayek’s daughter, Valentina. Page Six spoke to Salma’s peeps, and word is she’s still planning to wed the mega-billionaire, despite any possible dalliance with Linda. For her part, Linda remains mum on the whole daddy issue.

Please let this rumour be true, if only because Linda (the captivating blonde) and Salma (the captivating, feisty brunette) have given their kids Augustin James and Valentina Paloma such glamourous soap-opera worthy names. Who will rise to power in the Pinault clan and who will fall out of favour and be unceremoniously stripped of their unlimited tab with Gucci and friends? This saga of the rich and famous will have you riveted to your supermarket tabloids!

I foresee there will be grand entrances in dark sunglasses and a veiled hat, at least one dramatic “I OBJECT to this wedding!” moment, campy Alexander McQueen ensembles, UFOs and gun-toting revolutionaries.  Best of all, I guarantee that somebody is going to end up in the lily pond!

2 Responses to “It’s like Dynasty with better handbags”

  1. raincoaster October 26, 2007 at 6:23 pm #

    I hope they both invited Joan Collins to the christening!

  2. slownews October 27, 2007 at 9:52 pm #

    Wait a minute, is Linda wearing a trash bag?