Kate Moss…Ayyyy!

SPIRIT FINGERS: How do we know that’s Kate Moss at a YSL photo shoot and not some random dowdily-dressed streetwalker who’s about to be frisked?

PLUMCAKE: I’m not entirely sure those are mutually exclusive.

MANOLO: Frisking Kate Moss? That would be like handling the leather bag full of broken chicken bones.

SPIRIT FINGERS: I think this pose is supposed to be “sexy and glamourous” in the same way that Pete Doherty is supposed to be “clean and sober”.

MANOLO: Pete Doherty and Kate Moss: the pair voted “Most Likely to Give Codependency The Bad Name”.

PLUMCAKE: It’s amazing what people can do with photoshop these days. I can’t even see the rolled-up dollar bill or the teensy platinum razor blade.

MANOLO: It is not the photoshop. The dress is two sizes too big. The shoot was originally scheduled for that “fatass”, Lily Cole, and there was no time to do adjustments.

SPIRIT FINGERS: How I wish I could be paid millions of dollars to work my non-existent ass for the camera. *sigh* Where did it all go wrong?

PLUMCAKE: Have you considered stealing a hairstyle from a slightly slutty anthropomorphized cartoon dog? Apparently it’s the first step to stardom.

MANOLO: “The thing’s hollow — it goes on forever — and — oh my God! — it’s full of stars!”

SPIRIT FINGERS: This look only works if you’ve got a pointy hat, long beard and a working knowledge of spellcasting.

PLUMCAKE: also: water-toting brooms.

SPIRIT FINGERS: The fabric is clinging to all the wrong places. Is that a diaper underneath? Man, even the photo shoots on America’s Next Top Model have toilet breaks. I think.

MANOLO: Stars? Diapers? Perhaps she is on her way to Cape Canaveral to kidnap her astronaut lover’s rival.

SPIRIT FINGERS: With her obscured vision, she’s going to have to rely even more on her other senses. And we all know what her nose is only good for detecting.

MANOLO: Disastrous boyfriends? Naomi Campbell’s wrath?

KATE MOSS: Oh Manolo don’t play coy with me.  I’ve seen what’s inside those fabulous shoes of yours once you unscrew the heels.

6 Responses to “Kate Moss…Ayyyy!”

  1. Toby Wollin November 9, 2007 at 1:26 pm #

    I saw a recent photo of Golde Hawn with the same hairstyle – what’s with this? No one has a face anymore?

  2. deja pseu November 9, 2007 at 2:03 pm #

    “The thing’s hollow — it goes on forever — and — oh my God! — it’s full of stars!”

    Thank you for my first belly laugh of the day!

  3. class-factotum November 9, 2007 at 2:37 pm #

    She looks like she’s been rode hard and put up wet a few times too many.

  4. Phyllis November 9, 2007 at 3:47 pm #

    A bad imitation of Debbie Harry circa 1980.

  5. raincoaster November 9, 2007 at 7:39 pm #

    Actually, it’s probably full of STDs and stimulants.

  6. ellizam November 11, 2007 at 2:08 am #

    Oh dear. It’s a combination. I can definately see the Deborah Harry… but look at the blocks as well as the overall look of Harry-ness. To start, dress IS too big. Add bad crop of pic at bottom, plus wierd fold of cloth causing double or sag butt… I know this is hard to take in, but altogether these things make her legs look stumpy! I know, it can’t be true, but she looks like she is all trunk, no legs. On the second pic, yes, I see the diaper, but worse, I See Dead Hair! I see split ends EVERYWHERE. Probably from the awful, over-blonde, over-done dye job. This is just a ghastly pic of the usually lovely Kate Moss.