Manolo says, sometimes, we must all have our say…
MANOLO: Ayyyyy! She is so ethereal! Like the wisps of fog on the Scottish moors, only colder and not quite as inviting.
PLUMCAKE: and probably not as popular with the sheep.
SPIRIT FINGERS: That’s so dangerous. Somebody could take it as an invitation to stake her. And then we’d be left with a little pile of Keira dust. Which won’t do for Chanel photoshoots. Or would it?
PLUMCAKE: Of course it would. Karl would just sprinkle her over one of Coco’s old couches and then take pictures of the cleaning lady going to town with the lint roller. Fashion is the dust of existence! It’s inspired.
MANOLO (making sign of the cross): Bend it Like Nosferatu
SPIRIT FINGERS: POTC: Dead Woman’s Chest!
MANOLO: i’m in ur grave poking u with my ribs.
PLUMCAKE: I for one think it’s brilliant. It’s high time that someone finally turned Wuthering Heights into a zombie flick. Because you know what Bronte sorely lacks? Undead starlets with chainsaws for arms. (not pictured: chainsaw arm)
SPIRIT FINGERS: People Mag actually had the temerity to ask whether this look was “Hit or Miss?”. If only all of life’s questions were so simple!
MANOLO: They are. Hit or miss? Anorexia or bulemia? Dead or undead?
SPIRIT FINGERS: I heard she’s using the “Periorbital hematoma” brand of eyeshadow.
PLUMCAKE: Is that Latin for the blood of fifty virgins?
MANOLO: Good luck finding those in Hollywood.
SPIRIT FINGERS: She’s going for a statuesque pose but I’m telling you, not even the pigeons of St Mark’s Square would land on her. And they’re a pretty open-minded bunch, as far as pigeons go.
PLUMCAKE: Oooh, dissed by Italianate sky rats. You’re a cold woman Spirit Fingers. Let’s braid hair.
SPIRIT FINGERS: Sounds like a plan. See ya Keira wouldn’t want to be ya!