Mischa Mischa Mischa
Mischa, sugarlump, I feel your pain. The Daily Mail used a picture of your backside to illustrate “the modern hell of cellulite” and that sucks. But don’t worry baby, it happens to everyone (wow, I’ve never said that before and meant it, I feel so free! -ed.) My own personal thighs look like two topographical maps of Norway. Since I’m older than you, I feel it’s my duty and privilege to share with you my time-tested cure for the dimples of doom.

They’re called “pants.”
While pants are an option, a skirt, skort, capris, bermundas, flood pants, gauchos, etc… or any clothing item that actually reaches to mid thighs or knees will also hid the bumpy, crater like thighs. That or drink too much water/liquids and salted products so the swelling hides the topography. OR tell anyone that says anything to go f*** themselves and enjoy your femalehood…
Or, how about “obscurity?” That is what I would recommend for Mischa, ASAP.
To Jennie: I like your last option the best! They should leave her alone!
Frankly, I wouldn’t care what The Daily Mail said about my backside if my thighs looked as trim as hers.
That was funniest punchline ever!!! I totally wasnt expecting that…creams, massages…maybe. But pants – HYSTERICAL!!! Hopefully she will listen.