Oh Kylie

…is there anything in this entire get-up that isn’t questionable?

I just don’t even know where to start.

Okay, how about that you’re not even 40 (How? How is that possible? I remember doing the Loco-motion when I young, back before I sold my soul for some day-old Buffalo wings and this neat-o fiberglass liver) and yet you seem to have gone a bit piscine about the mouth-ital region, meanwhile your eyebrows are trying to mosey off into the sunset that’s apparently found about four inches behind your natural hairline. That would be troublesome enough because, you know, that’s a lot of landscaping for someone in their 30′s.

But then we need to talk about the outfit. What exactly is going on here? It’s like you’re playing Second Flying Monkey in an all-singing, all-dancing new production of “The Wizard of Oz” as performed by the Upper Ottowa Motorcycle Seat and Glad Bag Recyclers Union, Local 303, and while I give much love to the UOMS&GBRU (303) I’m just not entirely sure that’s a look you’d be lucky (lucky lucky lucky) to recreate.