Bloodlines

Chloe Calling

Chloe Calling

It’s always nice to see a celebrity who keeps in touch with her parents.

This is hipster

This is hipster

This is dog

This is dog

Gold Member

Gold Member Datta Phuge

Gold Member Datta Phuge

Ladies, feast your eyes on this, the apotheosis of men’s wear. Of Man’s man’s wear.

This breathtakingly tasteless spectacle is Indian money lender Datta Phuge’s original design. Atop a base of white imported velvet (not that it matters, but who the hell imports silk velvet to India? From where? As if India ran out of silkworms!) the short-sleeved shirt is woven with solid gold threads, at a cost of about $22,000, and adorned with Swarovski crystal buttons. Really? Am I the only one thinking that overpriced rhinestones  on a solid gold shirt is just a freaking cop-out? Gimme some beryls, some lapis lazuli, at least some peridot!

Now, setting aside the obvious fact that the shirt is just gawdawful, let us examine the stated goals of the shirt:

  1. to attract women
  2. to advertise Phuge’s money lending business.

There’s no question that the shirt will succeed in achieving the first of these, although once he gets to know them he’ll probably conclude he’d rather draw flies. It doesn’t take too many avaricious good time girls to go through an entire stack of gold shirts at a nightclub.

As for the second, it is really the men’s casuals version of the Hummer I used to see driving around Vancouver, plastered with bumperstickers for SavingYouMoney.com.

Faces of Mess: Goldie Hawn edition

Goldie Hawn Faces of Mess

Goldie Hawn Faces of Mess

Somehow you just knew Goldie Hawn was a happy drunk, not a stroppy one like Lindsay Lohan or a maudlin one like that aunt of yours who always gets into the cheap merlot and ends up weeping her mascara down her chin at the thought that she once had a shot at being Miss 4H Goat Cheese ’86 or whatever. Goldie looks like the kind of woman who’d down a forty pounder of JD by way of warmup and then try to lead the whole bar in a hand-holding singalong of Kumbayah or at least something from Bon Jovi. How can you not love her?

I once saw her and Kurt exiting a grocery store in Vancouver, and Goldie held the door for a little old lady. And yes, they both have the best asses on the planet, STILL: Kurt and Goldie, that is. I didn’t notice the little old lady’s.

A Jude Awakening

Jude Law

Jude Law

It’s Pucker Power for the win as Jude Law crosses the finish line in the Superannuated Celeb But Yes I Still Would sweepstakes held annually in St Barth’s.

LiLo’s new look!

LiLo in fur

LiLo in fur

Well, finally it looks like Lindsay is taking this lifestyle change thing seriously, putting the past behind her in the most unequivocal way. She’s seen here stepping out yesterday wearing a coat made from the pelt of every weasel she’s ever dated.

Miley Cyrus’s Strange Attraction

Miley Cyrus Beyond Thunderdome

Miley Cyrus Beyond Thunderdome

Something told her it had been a mistake to pair this outfit with the trendy new magnetic nail polish.

The Beyonce Bounce

Beyonce Butt Bounce

Beyonce Butt Bounce

Contrary to appearances, that sound you hear is not Beyonce’s buttcheeks clashing together like tectonic plates. That sound you hear is Dame Diana Rigg rolling over in her grave, and she’s not even dead yet. This might just push her over the edge, though.

Diana Rigg is not amused

Diana Rigg is not amused

Friday Caption Contest Results: Tom Daley Edition

Ho, ho, ho, it’s time to see who’s been naughty or nice enough to win our Caption Contest from Friday.

Tom Daley Santa

Tom Daley Santa

Klee December 16, 2012 at 9:44 am #

“Finally-I get MY wish!” exclaimed Mrs. Claus

Kudos and imaginary swag to Klee, who has now wrapped up two victories in a row! It’s hard to imagine a better fantasy pressie than British diver Tom Daley, so we’ve decided to give her this series of Tom Daley Stripping gifs. Feliz Lookitdat!