But it's a Laura Ashley pillowcase!

Kudos to Kate! She and I both landed new jobs this week: mine, reporter, hers, house elf.

Santa’s just added one witty commenter to his Naughty List; that’s what I call a credential!

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary

Natalie Anne Lanoville
November 26, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Shut down at the Buffy Christmas Party, Spike regrets the consulting fee he paid Derek Zoolander.

That’s two wins now for Natalie! And what has Santa Spike got in his sack for her this time? What could be better than a collection of Mark Roberts ’12 Days of Christmas’ Fairies?

We here at Manolosphere Global HQ were thrilled to the soles of our Manolos at the news that our beloved Uncle Karl Lagerfeld will be snowglobeified for Sephora’s Asian and European customers this year. Alas, Kaiser Karl has not allowed his gold-flecked mini-me to be sold to vulgar old Yanks, Meskins, or Canuckistanis. In these revolutionary times, I suggest we strike back! Fabulous (and fabulously-overpriced) ironic snow globes for EVERYONE!

Instead of this:

Snow matter

Buy this:

Yes. A $190, completely empty snow globe from Maison Martin Margiela. It perfectly represents our time: the emperor got dressed and put his hood up.

To be fair, the evolution of this face and body owes something to nicotine as well. But as Nan Darien said in Vanity Fair, “I don’t see the appeal of heroin. Does the weight stay off?”

Before:

Marianne Faithfull in her youth

After:

Marianne Faithfull older

This is what Courtney Love can only dream of becoming. Oh, and she does.

Fun fact: when the producer who first got Marianne under contract reported the fact to his boss, his exact words were, “I saw an angel with big tits, so I signed her.” There are worse decisions in the history of music.

Yes, the holiday season is upon us. And just because your show was cancelled years ago and you’ve really never come into your own since, that’s no reason not to dress for celebration. And captioning.

Spike is sad he missed out on that part in Bridget Jones's Diary

Every fashion blogger gets to use that headline once in her life.

FACT.

This post is sponsored by the fact that I’m down to my last pair of Asics and my sister just bought the Louboutin Forever Tinas and Anemones. Oh. Fine. SEE if I care. I’m SO OVER IT ALL!

No, it’s fine. I like my rubber boots. It’s totally fine.

You Are a Colorful and Vivacious Shoe

In life, you rather play than work. You’re apt to quit any task that doesn’t nourish your creativity and inner child. You are happiest in the comfort of your own home. You know how to make things nice for yourself.You are always interested in how and why things work. You are naturally curious. You love change and are able to adapt to any situation. You don’t have the typical fear of the unknown.

I’d like to be the Giuseppe Zanotti fishbone sandals in this video, even though they were only $775 when they came out:

Courtney Love's left boob makes a break for it

Someone aught to tell poor Courtney that the casting call for the Red Queen is long over. Also that the woman sleeping with the director had it locked up from the beginning. Also, that if you’ve lost so much weight your implants are getting smaller, you need to eat a sammich.

Also, don’t be so shelfish.

It. Is. Time. To declare our winnner…

Not that anyone who had to look at this could be described as “winning” really, but…

REEEJ

Pooooooor Coco
November 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm
“Well, the Emperor really highly recommended this tailor, and I do enjoy the silky fineness of my new shirt; but… but… does this tie *really* go with my moobs?”

Congrats and imaginary swag to first-time winner and first-time entrant Pooooooor Coco. What shall we present our proud winner?

The emperor/empress worthy purple designer toga

Pick a toga