Christian Louboutin has a lot to answer for (for which to answer? Whatever) in particular these heinosities for both sexes:
For Gentlemen:
This Louboutin demonstrates what men think of as "spikes"
And for the Ladies:
To Lady Gaga, these are just fluffy
Now, I’m sorry.
No, I’m not.
But these BOTH look like either two people suffering from EPIC plantar warts (isn’t it nice they found each other? I bet the romcom would star Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller, and be nearly as painful as the disease) OR they were lovingly hand-crafted in an Italian atelier from the intimate membranes of a Stegosaurus with history’s worst case of genital warts.
Having planted that lovely thought in your head, I’ll now degrade you further with todays corny links.
Joan Collins will drink as much Cinzano as she pleases and she'll thank you to mind your own business
It’s no secret that Joan Collins is not like other mortals (we’re not even sure she’s mortal to begin with). She is, of all the world, perhaps the person you would Least Like to Spill Your Drink On, particularly as she’s invariably clad head-to-toe in egret feathers and charmeuse, and that’s just for a run to Starbucks. But let us pause for a moment and cast our minds back to an earlier age: an age when the mighty Joan Collins was just a superannuated It Girl who was That Tragic Do-Gooder Kirk Got Off With in City on the Edge of Forever (incidentally, perhaps, the greatest single episode of science fiction television ever filmed, and don’t even START with me, you Babylon5ies!). An age when a B-list vaudevillian might get away with something like this:
Joan Collins and Leonard Rossiter star in Cinzano ads filmed between 1978 and 1983. The executive who dreamed up these ads used to discuss pitches with a hand puppet called Sniffy.
This, my friends, is the best-dressed attendee at New York Fashion Week: it’s Alexander Wang’s niece. The only quibble I have with the outfit, which is, I believe the fashionistas refer to it as “adorbz” yes, that’s the technical term, is, like the Queen, what the heck can she be keeping in that very expensive Chanel bag? Lipstick? Credit cards? Car keys? Plastic dinosaurs?
We interrupt our usual celebrity programming (because Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal? PLEASE!) to bring you these delightful little Valentine’s Day peep-toes. Go on: a little vinyl from the dollar store and some BlueTack and you’ve got special occasion CFMP’s! Lather, rinse, repeat with shamrocks in a month’s time. This is why classic shoes such as these Fitzwell Preston Peep Toe Patentsnever let you down.
Pete Wentz has a no fro and, apparently, a hostage
Poor little Bronx Mowgli Wentz! Not only are his parents divorcing, but Daddy has obviously gotten the Rebound Hairdo de Tutti Rebound Hairdos. Gone is the emo fringe: say hello to the Oh No, Bro Fro.
Naomi Campbell has had to become adept at where she hides her cellphone
Poor Naomi Campbell! Stripped of her protective Gaultier carapace she reveals the truth of what Bridget Jones said about all us single women: that underneath our clothes our bodies are entirely covered in scales. To which we say HAIL CTHULHU, BABY!
Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Mr. Manolo Blahnik. This website is not affiliated in any way with Mr. Manolo Blahnik, any products bearing the federally registered trademarks MANOlO®, BlAHNIK® or MANOlO BlAHNIK®, or any licensee of said federally registered trademarks. The views expressed on this website are solely those of the author.
(incidentally, perhaps, the greatest single episode of science fiction television ever filmed, and don’t even START with me, you Babylon5ies!). An age when a B-list vaudevillian might get away with something like this:
